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Need a bit of reassurance- being a bad mummy

7 replies

lifeinmidthirties · 29/09/2022 08:22

I've just had a hospital admission and procedure and still feeling so tired and sore.

I have a 2 year old and am resorting to tv a lot as well as easy food and grandparents to help. We had a play group session booked but am just not up to it.

I'm feeling the mum guilt in a big way. Think my 2 year old knows somethings up as they are having lots of tears and tantrums and I feel like it's because I'm boring and preoccupied.

Looking for some reassurance that dc will be ok even if I'm like this for a while. Or if not, any advice from those who've been through similar, thanks

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Garman · 29/09/2022 08:24

Of course they’ll be okay, it’s hardly the end of the world to let them watch tv, eat easy food and have grandparents help? They are all normal parts of parenting surely, never mind when you’ve had a hospital procedure etc.

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lifeinmidthirties · 29/09/2022 08:27

Thanks, I'm a bit tough on myself I think. You're right

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Luredbyapomegranate · 29/09/2022 08:27

Of course they will, take it as easy as you can so you can recover quickly. It won’t do then any harm, and will be good for their relationship with their grandchildren.

Two years olds go through phases of tantrums anyway, but yes it might well be they realise something is up, but that doesn’t mean it will do them any harm - the problem is probably not getting out for fresh air and a run around more than anything. If you can’t possibly get your parents or partner to take them out a bit more so they get a run, that’s a good idea - or maybe a friend could have them for half a day?

Anyway, don’t worry about it - just focus on getting well.

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makinganavalon · 29/09/2022 08:30

Ah, my then two year old had sooooo much TV and cereal when I was really ill and grieving the death of my mum earlier this year. I felt so so SO much guilt, but I explained clearly what had happened to her and she was fine in the end.
I found for a break from TV having a new cheap sticker book every day really worked- it focused her away from the TV with the excitement and mess free (so could sit in bed with me) and I could usually switch the TV off and still have some peace for a while.
Also colouring books where the felt tips only work on the paper- they can sit next to you in bed and not ruin the covers.
Then when my husband finished work he made a simple dinner and got her to help and so no TV in the evening- so ask others looking after her if possible not to let her have TV so you can have the TV time

It's really hard but don't beat yourself up you need to recover and they will be fine.

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Piffpaffpoff · 29/09/2022 08:31

Of course they will be fine. The tears and tantrums could be just because they are two!

Why not try and turn it into a ‘thing’’? We used to have “cosy” afternoons at this age - bring the duvets down and snuggle on the sofa watching a film. We still sometimes do it and they are teenagers now.

Hope you feel better soon.

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lifeinmidthirties · 29/09/2022 08:38

Thank you all so much for your kindness
The tips are very helpful- will definitely get some sticker books

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Endlesslaundry123 · 29/09/2022 18:51

This has been my 3 year old's life since her baby brother arrived 3 months ago (and no end in sight until he starts sleeping more independently....). The guilt is real but honestly I have no memories of being 3 and if I did, I would probably have been happy to watch telly and eat fish sticks all day 😆
We can't always be the "perfect mum" and that's ok. Our kids are safe and loved, that matters most.

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