Unsure what to do

[AlRRRR]

Hello so I live alone with my two children. Their father lives in another house 20 minutes away.

Today the five-year-old child was sick so she stayed home with the father in my house. I was at work.

when I got home he told me he had a confession to make and that he had left her in the house for an hour whilst we went to Sainsbury’s to get something. This was because she refused to go with him so she went to sleep and he left her inside the house.

What the hell do I do with this information. I’ve obviously informed him that it’s definitely not the right thing to do is neglectful and very very wrong and he must never ever do it again.

Is there a court order for access?

Get him to admit to what he did in writing, and then withdraw contact. That is neglect.

We are very amicable and there is no carte access or anything like that official,

he does know he did wrong but I’m just a little worried about the fact that he thought it was okay to do that if you know what I mean?

Sorry court access *

He left an unwell 5yr old asleep, alone. He cannot be trusted to have care of your children, I'm sorry.

Do you think he'd do it again?

That's horrendous. I don't know about legalities but my first response would be to revoke access and log it with someone, social services or something, so you have that evidence as things continue. I wouldn't trust him with my child again.

This. He is a stupid, irresponsible idiot and not fit to have care of a child.

Do you think he would do it again? If so, you cannot leave him in charge of any dcs.

I think I would be calling my local safeguarding team and chat to them about it.
Also talk to your dd's school. You should tell them before she does. They will have an obligation to investigate and may refer to the safeguarding team.

I’m a trainee social worker so I understand the implications of it and I’m definitely going to talk to the school when she goes back next week.

i’ve lived apart for sometime, and he’s always on a different planet there isn’t any malice in it he literally didn’t see the seriousness of it! very good heart but absolutely no brains when it comes to parenting sometimes!

no I don’t believe he ever would do it again because of my response when I got home from work!

Trained *

I wouldn't be able to trust him after that. She's not old enough to look after herself, that's why he was meant to be with her in the first place.

It was stupid and negligent but not worth her losing access to her father over!! Not if you've spoken to him, he's seen it's not a good thing to do, and won't do anything remotely like it again.

Yeah it’s never happened before and I don’t think he will do it again because I’ve explained why you don’t do it.

I was worried now because if she does tell School they are so keen with safeguarding measures that they call social services because I understand how that system works

He won't do this particular thing again, but what other stupid, dangerous shit might he do, simply because he has no concept of risk? Leave her in the car? Let her walk to the park alone? You can't trust him.

Thank you 🙂

Did she stay asleep all that time? If he's an otherwise responsible parent and ge sees how foolhardy this was I certainly wouldn't stop contact. Bear in mind nothing happened with the Macanns and their children were even younger