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When to start routine

13 replies

chocsaucestrawb · 28/09/2022 09:00

Our baby is 10 weeks old and not in any set routine

I love routine and look forward to when she is but I feel I started too young with my first and failed so trying to be more relaxed this time!

But as she approaches 12 weeks plus should I be looking at some sort of routine?

What is normal for this age - feed sleep and nap wise ? It's been 11 years since my last! So be nice to speak to people with babies around this age to see if I can get any tips

Here's what we do -

She drinks 50z roughly every 4hrs - I kind of feed on demand so sometimes there's hunger cues at 3hrs or if I'm school run I'll make it 3hrs or time it for 4hrs when we are home but without clockwatching, I rarely let her go longer than 4.5 hrs so say if she hasn't hunger cued by 4.5 hrs I'd feed - but this is rare she would
Do that - she doesn't sleep long period either
Purely because she doesn't sleep well/go long stretches at night so making sure she has enough milk in the day

We do bath her everyday just for a few mins so she's used to it, plus she seems to like it but as she's in no set routine it's just worked around awake windows and feeds naps etc which can vary so usually around 5ish.

We do (DH) homework with eldest one at 3:45- 5 then she goes off for a bath until 6pm until we eat dinner which is around 6ish, finished by 7 pm where eldest will then have time in her room 7pm bedtime which is 9pm so my eldest has a nice routine I feel- baby just fits in around so if she's asleep when dinners being cooked or when it's ready - fab we all get to eat dinner together! If she's awake we put her in the rocker chair or if she's crying/unsettled then we take it in turns to hold her / eat but we try have family time altogether for one hour an eve 6-7pm
Every day is different with her
Anyway the issues we have

  • possible reflux - quite sicky and unsettled after feeds
  • cries a lot on and off - seems unsettled unsure if milk/colic/ in contact with GP HV and have a dietician referral next week

(She's been unsettled since 2 weeks old)
  • doesn't sleep at night soundly ! Grunts groans farts thrashes around hitting her face - it seems like it goes on all night so we are exhausted


So with all the issues it's hard to try get her into a routine

I'm not so much fussed on routine at 10 wks more so when should we be thinking of doing so

Nap times - awake windows last from 45mins to 1hr 30 and she naps anything from 30mins-1.5-2hrs again no pattern but usually no longer than 2hrs at a time

I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing by her - hard to know if I'm doing the right thing as my first was 11 yrs ago so almost feel like first timer

Thank you for reading x
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trrk · 28/09/2022 11:37

Also watching with interest

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FTM2022SS · 28/09/2022 11:47

I find whattoexpect.com really helpful! This is what I have loosely following since around the 10 week mark too for wake windows, nap schedule etc. At 10 weeks we started to settle our LO in his bed upstairs from 7ish for a couple of hours before bringing him into the bedroom with us at 9/9.30!

He is 6 months old this weekend! Been in his own room since about 4 and half months, but definitely in a regression at the moment as he is unsettled from 4am so comes in with us!

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mummyh2016 · 28/09/2022 11:50

The only routine we had then was bottles every 3-4 hours. I think at that age mine both still slept most of the time.

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Tina8800 · 28/09/2022 14:16

Is she sleeping in the same bed during the day and night? From six weeks I only used the bedside cotbed for nighttime sleep which helped a lot to introduce a rutine. (she somehow learned if she was put upstairs she was bout to have a long sleep) I had a cotbed in the living room, which she hated for some reason. I placed a babynest on the floor (double carpet plus blanket so she wasn't cold) which she loved. Often she passed out im it during playtime šŸ˜…Around that age she had 3 small naps during the day, 1-2 hours each, but not always in the same time.
Food wise, I just gave her milk when she wanted. Usually every 3 hours but after 6 months (weaning, teething) it all went out of the window and still don't have a proper rutine (she's 8 months now).
So I would focus on bathtime and sleep rather than feeding.

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ChildWontStopGrowing · 28/09/2022 20:55

I didn't start with a proper routine until 6 months, and even then it was a good few weeks before he was following it properly. I have a boy who's quite happy to go with the flow, however.

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Cotswoldmama · 28/09/2022 21:12

A routine will come naturally over time as naps and feeds are less often. The best way to encourage it is to make sure daytime and night sleep is very different. As dark as possible at night, no talking when they wake etc. In the day not so dark in the room they nap in and try not to be so conscious of making noise, being louder and more animated when they wake from a nap. Also I found going outside everyday for a walk helped.

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Iheartmykyndle · 28/09/2022 21:24

My sister used Gina Ford for her three but she went back to work after a few months each time so she wanted them in a routine before then. Worked well, all of them slept through from pretty early on. Think she ignored the "eat your breakfast now" bit though.

Both of mine had regular bottle times from about 4 months and then meals slotted in to that when I started weaning them. With sleep I didn't want a rigid schedule because I liked getting out to playgroups and classes. I always tried to do at least one nap a day in the buggy so I could get a walk in and because I didn't want to get nap trapped with only having cot naps. Luckily for me (and it is luck!) they both sleep on the hoof.

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NewbietoSE3 · 28/09/2022 21:41

I started at 4 months

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Endlesslaundry123 · 29/09/2022 02:35

My 12 week old's routine is that we do a nappy change and then start soothing him about 10-15 mins before wake window is up with walking around (or gently bouncing on exercise ball) while listening to a few lullabies on Spotify. Then we read one specific book and go to the bedroom for nap. I can tell he's aware that this is his nap routine because he starts protesting the moment he sees his naptime book and protests more when he gets in the bedroom. He has FOMO haha.

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chocsaucestrawb · 30/09/2022 09:06

@FTM2022SS thank you I'll definitely take a look at that.

@Tina8800 so she has a next to me cot in our bedroom and a cot downstairs for sleeping but she hasn't been in that for ages - only when she was 0-2 weeks really. We have a nest pod pillow thing which we use for daytime sleeps so very similar to you.

Just wondering when to start putting her upstairs but at the moment I feel her sleep is very unpredictable- and she can take a while to settle so we keep her downstairs with us until we go up.

Sometimes I'll go up at 9pm to get some sleep and my DH will stay down like last night she fed at 8pm, I went up at 930pm and he stayed down until her next feed which was 1230 and then we bought her up, just not sure if that's ok and that she should be in her room (our room)

I guess I was waiting for her to settle a bit better or start this around 12 wks maybe

It's good reading what others do but I guess that also depends on your baby x

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shivawn · 30/09/2022 11:01

We started around 4 months on a 3 nap schedule, it made a big difference to his night time sleep.

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chocsaucestrawb · 01/10/2022 15:46

@shivawn I think that's when I'll start her with her for upstairs- rolling with it for now

X

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MarigoldMoonStone · 01/10/2022 15:55

I think 4 months is probably a good place to start as they can start having a ā€œregressionā€ then, I remember my daughter really started fighting her sleep then and I found it so stressful so wish I had a plan in place but I was still just winging it at that point.

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