Unmarried parents of 8 and 2 year old

[Midsmumof2]

I’m beginning to feel really down, me and partner got engaged in 2018 on his work trip - no mention of marriage since - in 2020 I gave birth to our second child? His son. I love him so much and so badly want to be his wife yet no mention or inkling from him of us actually doing it. He’s wonderful, we have a lovely home? Don’t go without, wonderful holidays But truthfully it’s eating away at me, I feel down and I don’t want any more children until we actually married, I’m a stay at home mum and all our friends are married and we attended my siblings wedding Recently, I’m 40 in April and tbh I’m beginning to get quite angry - his career is flying while at home with the kids - advice please? I’m thinking of leaving tbh - I’m so broken over this and feel really low

There must be one of these threads per week. OP, you have lost any ‘bargaining chip’; you’ve had 2 kids and given up work. He knows he has more to lose if he marries you. Ask him outright, but be prepared for an answer you won’t like and then decide on your next steps from there.

Oh OP, I think I remember you now. Are you the poster whose boyfriend announced your abortion to your dad at your brother’s wedding? And then you put together a PowerPoint presentation about why he should marry you?

Have some self-respect and get out of there. He’s awful and he’s making an utter fool of you.

Is he suggesting you have more kids? Only you say you don't want to until you're married, but you already have two, is that not enough?

Doesn’t sound like you’re engaged or likely to get married. Do you jointly own this large house? If you leave him how will you support yourself and where will you live? When did you last work?

Did you start looking at any venues for a wedding when you got engaged, or have the chat then about booking a date?

Sounds a bit like you're both stalling tbh - you are waiting for him to do something to set a date when you could also start organising it yourself.

What do you want to happen?

Why on earth do you want to marry such a wanker who is so nasty to you?

First of all I had a job and career, but childcare makes it difficult and expensive to get back into work force - a part time job doesn’t cover part time childcare even but I will be looking at this - we left London for a better life and not much call for part time events managers where we are But im looking at doing something else.just not that easy - his job often takes him abroad so one of us needs t to be on hand with kids. It’s good to know im not being unreasonable

Who owns the house?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

Whose house is it? You can’t be dependent on a boyfriend, you need to gain employment, you can both pay childcare fees, you’ve chosen to be very vulnerable and there’s no reason for it, take control of your life, get your pension contributions active, secure housing for yourself if you’re in the boyfriends property. He’s been very open that he’s not interested in giving you security, believe him.

Who owns the house?!