Taking new baby to a wedding

[OttilieKnackered]

Hello all.

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby. We are invited to a wedding when they will be around 4 weeks old (if they appear on due date).

The wedding is local. Ten min car journey across city. The wedding is a really close friend and I’d be gutted to miss it.

I know there are a million variables, but is it theoretically possible if birth is uncomplicated and at the expected time?

If so, what would I need to focus on to make it comfortable/safe for the three of us? And can you put a baby in a taxi? How does it work with car seats etc.?

Sorry if these questions are terribly naive.

Well in some parts of uk they let you go 2 weeks over before they induce so you could be down to 2 weeks old. Yes it is doable but there are so many things you can't control. Breastfeeding/ c section/ you'll probably still be bleeding/ you'll probably feel fat and just absolutely knackered. If your friend can wait til a week before the day to know for certain then you should plan to go for a few hours and accept it may have to change. Good luck!

Yes you can take a car seat in a taxi. Just give yourself plenty of time. The baby is pretty portable so it's how you feel really that will matter.

Most likely possible, but you might not feel like it!

We always used our own car seat in taxis, we had a belt fitted one so easy between cars. Some taxis will provide them but they're not always great at getting the right one for the right age.

Take changes of clothes (probably for everyone...) and more muslins than you think is logical. This may be influenced heavily by my own experience of DS at that age!

See how you feel nearer the time OP

I could easily have taken DC1because they were easy. I did take DC 2 to two family weddings in their first 10 weeks which was again alright as I had support. I had had normal deliveries and was breast feeding.The problem is that some deliveries and babies are not as obliging. You will have to see how you feel at the time imo. One of our guests brought a 5 week old baby to our wedding and we were pleased to see them but another couple were unable to make it with their similarly aged infant. One good thing is that tiny babies don't need much paraphernalia, a sling and maybe a blanket to lie them on a chair or sofa will be useful. Car seat in taxi.

The age of baby even if late would be easy, they are easiest at that age to take about. Only thing I would say, if you end up with a c section, 2 weeks you may not feel up to it. I’m 1 week post c section and I’m still struggling with the pain 😩. But I would accept and say you plan to attend, and if you can’t then you can’t. You can take your car seat in the tavi, long with your pushchair.

Definitely possible but it all depends on whether you feel like it. You might be absolutely not up to it, and that's ok. You can't possibly know in advance

Accept the invite, then nearer the time when you're v obviously heavily pregnant let them know that it depends on how you feel.

Absolutely doable. My daughter was born 3 weeks ago but she was actually due last Friday and we are going to a wedding on Saturday! Never crossed my mind that we wouldn't go, I was up and about day 2 but didn't leave hospital till day 5.

My cousin got married when I had a 3 week old (20 days) about an hour drive away.
We missed the actual ceremony which was further away, but attended the reception in my Aunts garden and it was lovely. They made sure there was a room for me to use to rest / change / feed if I wanted. Looking at the pictures I’m exhausted and puffy still - but it was a lovely afternoon. Glad we didn’t do the whole day though.
Also breastfeeding was going well so we could travel light, didn’t need to think about making up bottles etc.

What @loveireland said in first reply.
You will have no idea.
Someone will come along in a minute and tell you how portable babies are and that they were trekking the Amazon at that point, but I'd say far more of us are at the stage of still being in our PJs, having not washed our hair and really not mastered breastfeeding at that stage.
Plus of course, you could easily only be 2 week post birth as not many babies arrive on time.
You'll have to say that, much as you would love to be there, you obviously won't have any idea how practical that is until a week or two before the wedding, so you will have to decline. Then, if she is as close a friend as you think she is, she will say "I understand. I am so excited about the baby. Gutted about the timing, but I'll be in touch afterwards and hope we can sort something out".

Of course, if she is a regular MNer she will call you a bitch for daring to have a baby in the same year as her wedding, and cut you out of her life forever.

I went to a Christening when DD2 was 7 days old and a 21st birthday dinner when she was 2 weeks. To be honest it wasn't fun. Doable but not enjoyable. I had a c section and and 18 month old too. It was late January/early Feb and snowing so yeah it was difficult. My back was also really sore. Sorry for being full of doom and gloom but that was my experience.

Most babies come within a week of their due date so you will probably have an at least 3 week old but possibly a 2 week old. Assuming a vaginal birth (I don't know about C sections but I know they are major surgery and have a serious recovery period). You will probably still be bleeding but the worst will have passed. You might still be a bit sore if you had stitches but again the worst should have passed.

If you are breastfeeding you will still be establishing it so you might take a bit of time getting them latched properly, leak or even spray milk and might be having very regular and long feeds. You might like to take a light scarf or big muslin to cover up whilst you are getting you confidence get them latched on in public without showing your nipples. Nobody will mind or possibly even notice you feeding during the ceremony, meal, speeches etc. but if you aren't yet confident feeding in front of people a wedding venue would probably have quiet corners to feed in. Take beastpads and a dress you can feed in (there is Facebook group called "Can I Feed in it").

If you are formula feeding then I sure the venue would help you with boiling water or you could take the ready made formula they sell in bottles.

Take plenty of nappies, muslin clothes and changes of baby clothes and cover your dress/partner's suit well with a big muslin when feeding or burping baby.

Infant carrier type carseats are easy to take in a taxi as they are small and even if you fit them on an isofix base in your car they can also fit without the base with the seatbelt - make sure you know how to do that before the day. It is legal not to use a car seat in a taxi but that isn't safe. Take your pram too.

On the whole if you feel recovered enough I think a baby in arms is easier to take to a wedding and less disruptive than an older baby or toddler. They don't even really need toys to entertain them just milk and cuddles.

Could definitely be doable - but will depend on circumstances and you need to prepare to change plans last minute if necessary

I took dd to one at 7 weeks but we booked a room at the reception which was a godsend to be able to pop back to for feeding/changes/naps, plus didn't need to book a taxi

In actual fact she slept through most of it (including live rock band) everyone there helped out having a hold of her, I found a great nursing wrap dress that I could breastfeed in and was comfortable over my cs wound and it was lovely

Thanks for all views so far.

I absolutely accept I won’t really know til he/she is here and of course if I don’t feel up to it won’t force myself.

I guess I just wanted to know if it was possible with several fair winds.

It’s actually the groom who is my friend, primarily, though now his wife as well of course. They have just had their first child and are very relaxed and understanding about my going/not going. The wedding is somewhere pretty informal and I could be home in ten minutes if it gets too much which I think are both plus points. Also my partner would be there so that essential extra pair of hands, plus loads of other guests I know.

I also don’t expect to stay late or get pissed, of course. But if I feel up to it (big if, I know) it’s nice to know that an appearance at least might be possible.

I took DD2 to a wedding when she was a week old. She was fine although we didn't stay for long. Luckily it was very local.

2 planned sections here, and it would have been absolutely fine to go to a wedding 4 weeks after (or 2 weeks).

I didn't go to any weddings, but I was in holiday abroad at 6 weeks, hosted a party for 30 people at home (including baking for it) at 2.5w pp, so going to a local wedding seems quite relaxed comparatively.

Yes, you may still be recovering - but you may not. I was 90% back to normal within a week of my sections.I wouldn't have been dancing at midnight a couple of weeks after, but I'd have been able to do most of it. Equally, its possible that you may still be in pain from recovery. Its impossible to know really (but dont assume section = longer recovery).

You may still be bleeding (I wasn't) but I'm any regular wedding in line you've got a chance if being on your period. Put a pad on, and youll be fine.

Yes, you may leak/squirt milk, but you probably won't. If you are leaky, then that's what breast pads are for! Personally, I rarely leaked in the first 9 months, then I leaked loads. I also got more squirty rather than less over time 😂

It's very difficult to predict how you will be post partum. I found I had incredible energy for the first few months, and so was up, dressed, out every day, going on adventures etc. Others find even getting dressed hard. Neither are weird, neither are better than others. It's how your body responds to the changes, and the huge hormonal changes at birth. You honestly could be happily dancing all night with baby in a sling on you, or getting awful and there's no way to tell which camp
you'll fall into.

i do think tiny babies are much much easier to take to weddings then toddlers though shudder

Definitely possible with a fair wind.

I managed an out of town wedding when DS was five weeks. I used a stretchy sling and he slept happily through the drinks reception and dinner. He seemed to like the noise and bustle. Ended up getting a taxi unexpectedly to the station and just held him.

Leaky boobs need breast pads. It turns out I’m overly relaxed about getting a boob out so never felt the need to establish breast feeding in private.

But despite all this, I made it clear when RSVPing that I didn’t know if we’d come and if we did whether I’d last the distance.

I attended a wedding when DD was 5 weeks. It was for a close family who were happy for us to decide on the day and she pretty much just slept through the whole thing. I did bail fairly early so I could sleep as was still quite tired.

I was best man on my sons due date when he was 2 weeks old, breastfeeding made it easier but I had a really easy labour with him, my DD I was wrecked afterwards and lucky if I felt well enough to shop for food for 5 minutes, so it just completely depends I think.