He has energy for hobbies when I'm depleted by extra parenting due to him having Covid!

[Skittleoo]

He would do anything for his special interests.

He tested positive for covid on Friday. Me and the children are negative at the moment. I've taken care of the children solely all weekend up to this point so he can rest. Although I did ask him to vacuum the house and wash some clothes this morning as he seemed a bit better. I had to take both children to a family event this morning with my non-diagnosed autistic father and toxic brother. I am drained.

Just come home and he's announced that he's off to play golf- with covid!!

Leaving me to do the children's dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes alone after an already gruelling weekend of this horrible family commitment today and a day full of dance classes and horseriding lessons yesterday. I have a horrible headache and I'm done.

Is it unreasonable of me to expect him to contribute to family life this afternoon rather than go and play golf? Also although there is no rule or law in the UK preventing him from going to play golf with covid (he has symptoms), the government website advises him against it. He's now in a full on sulk with me after I told him he can't go and that I'm going upstairs for a lie down instead.

How can he have it both ways? Too poorly to contribute towards family life, but not too poorly to play golf with friends (who apparently don't mind catching covid).

He is also going to a social event with friends on Tuesday evening- a meal indoors and I'm having to rearrange my work commitments to accommodate him, yet he isn't planning on going in work! I feel he's just taking the piss...

Am I being unreasonable here?

He's a dick, obviously, but I doubt this is new behaviour.

Lol golf!! Wow he's really living the dream and leaving you in the shit.... I assume it's not just when he has COVID that he does this to you.... leaves you to handle all the work while he goes off to play? Have you talked to him about it and set some expectations around sharing parental responsibilities fairly? (Not that you should have to tell him that......)

Say you think you are ill, and need a rest. Say he will understand as you need a day in bed like he has just had. So he isn’t at work tomorrow? He gets up/ sorts kids and you stay in bed. You have Covid and are unwell.

Posters will dance around the issue- but his time is more valuable than hours, you are the skivvy and he doesn’t care

like, that’s all.

are you going to continue being mugged off?

YANBU. Idiot

He’s an entitle, selfish dick and he doesn’t really care about you or see you as a real person with needs.

He's taking the piss and you know it. I also suspect this isn't new behaviour.

No way would I rearrange work for a social night out either

Sounds exactly like what DH would have done as well. His special interest (which happens to be his work) always come first.

When I got covid from DD he ran away to his parents because he didn't want to risk getting infected and not being able to work aka indulge in his interest. He left me covid positive taking care of a small child also positive alone for 10 days while he got food cooked for him at home. Then had the balls to complain about the bed being uncomfortable and kept forcing me to test repeatedly until I was negative so he could come home again.

The problem here is that I was away last weekend with friends (the first one in 8 years) and I feel he's making me pay for it as he sole parented for 3 days. He goes away a couple of times a year with his friends.

I know that he'll just say "well I did it all last weekend and now I have covid!" But I really wasn't planning on sole parenting this weekend and would have got out of the shitty family commitment but it was too short notice to do so this time.

He’s a dick. Presumably that’s not news to you.

He's still sulking!
He says he was definitely well enough to play golf and yet he's spent the afternoon lying down in the lounge and went to bed at 7.30pm!

He doesn't intend on going back to work until Wednesday either... but he was still well enough to play golf (apparently).

He's also angry with me for telling him he couldn't go at such short notice... like I'm supposed to be able to predict that the family event was even more traumatic than I'd foreseen and would develop the start of a migraine on the way home... and that the youngest would have almighty tantrum on the dual carriageway and I'd have to pull over for fear of losing control of the car.

And I'm supposed to predict that I'd have no spoons left for more lone parenting.

Poor DH.

I've got to ask, why are you taking your kids to traumatic gatherings with toxic family members?

A very long story @MolliciousIntent , a whole other thread but it really centers around the children seeing their cousins after many months. They were desperate to see them.