I have 2 children, but my issue is with my 13 year old, I'm sorry to say but I'm really really starting to dislike him, everyday there is a fall out or argument, he drives me to a screaming banshee frequently, he refuses to ANYTHING! He refuses to shower, he's bullied because he stinks, he refuses to brush his teeth, again bullied because his breath could knock a skunk out, refuses to get dressed in time, refuses to do homework until last minute, refuses to help in the house, bullies almost abuses his 4 year old brother daily, he screams at his brother to 'shut up', physically hurts him to the point of bruises and bumps at times, screams at me if I try and parent him/discipline him, trashes his room/the house if I again tell him off for his wrongdoings, won't take any responsibility for when he's hurt his brother, doesn't feel any guilty or empathy for the above, sits there with a face on 24/7, doesn't do anything unless a screen is attached to it. Tries to micro manage his brother/be the 3rd parent. Swears at me daily, kicks off over nothing.
I've known since he was 1 that he has autism but absolutely nobody else agrees with me so he's one of the lost ones in the system for that, he shows every sign of ODD and PDA.
Nobody has ever helped me or him deal with this, therapy has always been a waste of time because he won't talk it's always 'I don't know or I can't remember' camhs are useless, social was useless, he has a hatred of everyone and everything, he has no friends, he can't say a single nice thing about anyone, he's been banned from his friends houses by their parents because of his behaviour, he treats me, DP and brother like we are scum, he has to be prompted to use manners, he can't actually do many things for himself, whilst he's highly academic he's comparable to a toddler when it comes to social/Street smarts. He hates the world and nothing we do for him is good enough, he wants for nothing. He's always got what he wanted, his dad is dead before anyone suggests dad steps up (even when alive he was a useless, deadbeat dad who only bothered twice in his life)
I'm really ready to wash my hands off him, I'm done, I can't take the arguments and the anger and the stress anymore, I'm already on various medications to try and help me, had therapy for the best part of a decade to deal with everything.
Deep down I love him and I always will but I HATE the person he has become and i genuinely fear for his future with future relationships/friendships because he treats everyone like shit. I have cameras up in my house to deter him from starting on his brother, I literally only have to turn my back and go do a Job like washing pots and he will start screaming at his brother. It is NOT a good environment for my youngest, I worry my youngest will be dysregulated and mentally ill by the time he's older because of the atmosphere at home on a daily basis.
Please can someone tell me that this gets better? Because as it stands his 16th birthday present will be the local council for accommodation.