Eating vs iPad

[SL80]

Hi all after some views on this. Our first child is now 18 months and she has always been a bit fussy eating, not in terms of what she likes but loses interest in food very quickly when sitting in the high chair. So we started to use the iPad probably about six months ago now, just to help distract her with some learning videos and songs and it helped as she would then carry on eating, it generally only took about 5mins and we would then take the iPad away.

However over the past two months if the iPad is not there from the minute she sits down to eat she will moan and whinge until it is and then will only start to eat when she is watching something.

Do any other parents experience this? Naturally we are concerned it will become an addiction but maybe we are just over worrying and if it comforts her and she eats (and learns words/songs etc) is it that bad? She doesn't pine for the iPad in general and just plays with toys etc so it's only at eating time (at the moment!)

We ended up in this with the TV; it’s a tricky one as just sitting eating is boring and sitting trying to talk to an 18 month old as they eat for 20 minutes is not that easy.
we just went with it in the end and when nursery age that helped as it broke the habit and as she’s got older we’ve been able to distract her more and chat with her at mealtimes.

Well she's got used to the routine, same as some kids like a particular cup. If you don't want her to watch the iPad while she's eating then go cold turkey and don't turn it on. Humans have managed to feed themselves for years without an iPad it's hard to believe she would starve herself to death without one. Toddlers are hard work at meal times, fussy, easily distracted and messy, just got to power through this stage.

If you don't mind her watching the iPad while she eats then let her watch it.

Would the radio or some music work ?
Does your dd attend nursery? They won't play videos while she eat.
You have created her addiction by playing the iPad (if she has 3 meals and a couple of snacks that's still 25 mins a day) so I'm not surprised that she will not even start eating without it.

There is a time and a place for ipads, but once you start to use them for something like meal times, then you pick a stick for your own back as they won't eat without them.

As DD grew up I learned that I couldn't have the tv on at mealtimes as she would sit and watch that and not eat.

The same with getting ready for school, if the tv was on, she would sit there naked holding 1 sock and not getting ready .

You need to find a different way of engaging with your DD to get her to eat, maybe say that once she has eaten her lunch she can do XYZ, or that you will put the tv on for half an hour after lunch or something like that, but not while she is eating. It will get easier as she grows up.

You really don't want to turn into one of those parents whose DC watch loud noisy gadgets in restaurants while they eat, a recent thread on MN showed how many people can't stand that.

I have a 3yo and 18mo, we don't have any tablet at all unless we go in the car on a long journey.
The TV goes off when eating or we put something on that we want to watch, not kids shows.
We mainly put music on through Alexa, they have a little dance and sing whilst eating

Just don't use it.

Actually I think you're ridiculous for not being able to feed a 1 year old without an iPad, and furthermore for not realising that you can just break the habit and take it away. I despair.

We were fortunate mobile tablets and smart phones were just beginning to be popular when ds was small and they never really had any part in our life until ds was at secondary school and had his first smart phone (mine was still a dumb phone at this point!)

I can absolutely see how stressed out parents can fall into the trap of replacing parenting with tech, and we probably would have done the same lazy parenting.

But, having been there without the tech crutch and even though sitting and eating with your toddler while they are eating is a chore, do not dismiss how much they learn from those day in day out boring interactions. How to eat without requiring such intense distraction, how to focus on and enjoy your food, how to be bored, how to listen, just how to enjoy just interacting with another human being.

Yes, this. You’re the parent.

Mine used to need similar attention when eating so we used to read to them. They loved a good story and meant they got our attention and not screens. They gradually stopped needing it as they got older but it was quite nice

If you’re calling someone an idiot, you need to @ them or quote their post.

Assuming it’s aimed at either me or the pp I agreed with, the point is far from idiotic. You’ve basically trained her to eat with the iPad. If it bothers you, stop taking the line of least resistance.

Agree with others - an iPad has no place at the dinner table. You're the parent, take it away and retrain her to manage meal times without it. Use the time to converse with her or eat your own meal. Mealtimes are social opportunities - don't underestimate the value of this.

We had this with our first DS, we slipped into the habit as it meant he would eat all his food and helped learn to feed himself. We tried cold turkey for about a week or so but this just ended up with him refusing food or just sitting there aimlessly picking at the food and messing about with it.

BUT we did eventually have to start being more strict but this was easier once he was able to say more words/communicate with us more.

Ignore some of the unhelpful comments about you being ridiculous, I am sure all this stuff levels itself out; I am sure all kids pick up bad habits from parents and they will all differ. Watching an iPad whilst eating is really a minor thing.

We did this with our DS's as it was the best way to ensure they sat still and ate their dinner.

They are now 12 and 16 and sit with us as a family for dinner every night without the need for entertainment.

So in summary it is fine, just do what you need to to get through this stage.

If your child is irritable, anxious or sad without the iPad, she may have an unhealthy attachment to the device.

It’s not hard to find a ton of evidence about screen addiction. Starting as young as 1 and with an association with food is extremely unhealthy.

OP states However over the past two months if the iPad is not there from the minute she sits down to eat she will moan and whinge until it is and then will only start to eat when she is watching something.

So it’s not just ‘Watching an iPad whilst eating’.

This 1 year old child has a screen habit which is totally driven by the parents.

Remove the iPad and entertain your child yourself. Let her self-regulate her own food intake. She doesn’t need distraction from food. I can’t believe how unhealthy this attitude is.

Done the same with ours at that age, he’s now 4 and eats perfectly fine and has no iPad addiction. Getting a full stomach was more important to me. Ignore people calling you ridiculous. You do what YOU have to do, no one else is living your life

Ah yes, that's right. Ask a question and then ignore the posts that give a different opinion to the one you're looking for. Great advice.

I’m pretty lax on screen time but even I don’t allow ipads whilst eating. 18 month olds are tough characters, personally I go with: eat with them (if you eat later still sit with them and have a snack portion), stick one food on the plate you know they love, heap on the praise for good eating and no highchair as mine hates to feel constrained. If they don’t eat that well, fine, there are 3 meals and 2 snack on offer a day so they’ll make it up. Most won’t starve themselves. The ipad is just a habit and you can break it!

I think I’m a relaxed parent but I’ve always had the rule there’s no tv or iPads on during meal times. I’m not against them it’s fine at other times but not during eating. I just find it sad, they don’t need to be distracted to eat they need to explore different foods and interact with you or eat meals with you at the table ? If your baby screams and won’t eat then just don’t worry try later - its probably teething they don’t each a lot when teething. Definitely take it away and accept they’ll be tears.

I’m sorry but I don’t see how you’re worried she might become addicted when it’s painfully obvious she already is addicted!

im really not being narky but what did you expect to happen? How do you think children are food for all the years before phones and iPads came along?

make meal times fun, get involved yourself, but there really is no need to stick the iPad on

Take it away cold turkey - you'll have a painful few days then it'll be fine. After that let her eat as much or as little as she likes with no pressure. Little kids know how to self regulate.

I'm afraid I agree with PP, this was not the best idea to start with. The best technique to 'get a toddler to eat' is to just leave them to it and let them eat what they want. They don't need devices and techniques to get them to eat more.

She’s already addicted. That ship has sailed.

Stop using it, suck up her unhappiness and be sympathetic but don’t be moved. None of this is her fault.

Focus on family meals, chatting, her watching eat, you helping her eat, get her involved in food prep, make meals about eating and conversation.

You’ve created this situation and only you can change it.

Totally agree with @BoredOfGrey22 - just don’t use it. You’re the parent here. Not great to have that habit so better to go cold turkey now with it than perpetuate further.