Hosting visitors when you have a toddler

[Skippu]

I will probably sound really stupid and lazy but those of you who have very small children, how do you cope when you have visitors for lunch or dinner?! Every time anyone wants to come over I am so anxious with all the cleaning and prep and cooking involved. I'm not the best cook anyway but even if I was my toddler just has tantrums most of the day so I get nothing done - I can just about get a simple lunch prepared for us. Any tips??

Not sure if this is similar, but have a toddler and if friends are coming by I always arrange for it to be in evening , so they get to see DD after she's had her tea and they just entertain themselves while I or DH put her to bed.
We then have evenings to chill out - mind you that's only worked really well since 18months onward as a reliable sleeper.

I only really see other friends with kids in the daytime, or family, so it's less stress

Every time anyone wants to come over

Who's taking it upon themselves to request that they come over?

I'd either reply that it's not ideal while toddler is about as we won't get a proper chance to catch up, so they can come later when DC is in bed or meet you out of the house on a day you're childfree (if you ever get that?)

I wouldn't be prepping food either - I'd happily make cuppas, and buy a box of cakes, but that'd be it.

We do have guest over at least once a month for either dinner or lunch (we take turns hosting in our friends group) and DD is 14 months now. We tend to do a potluck type get together so someone brings a main meal, dessert and drinks. Usually, I bring the drinks as it's easier to "prep" when I have a baby with clingy-itis and is glued to me 24/7 lol. When it comes to the flat being clean, it's clean enough or an "organised mess" as I call it and no one has given me shit that there's toys strewn everywhere. If they did, I would've said bye and shut the door on them haha

Honestly, I only ever invite people who can be relied upon to a) mind the toddler or b) make the meal. Or do a bit of both. Otherwise, DH does a or b while I do the other.

Are they inviting themselves over for dinner?!

How rude!

Anyway - pasta or a lasagne depending which works best with timing for you. And they can live with the mess.

I planned ahead, and used the electronic babysitter - dd would watch Winnie the Pooh for hours

That's if I let her!

If it's family they entertain DCs whilst I cook. I usually do something that can be sorted before like a stew or something simple e.g. baked salmon. At lunch time it is cheese toasties! Are you getting any say in this?

Do you have a partner?

If we have people over DH takes the kids out while I tidy and cook.

I don't go to any extra effort for people.
We usually have sandwiches, as veggies etc for lunch, so I will just make them the same.
As for dinner, again, pretty much whatever we're having, just more of it.

'Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind don't matter.'

Thanks everyone. I think I'll go with sandwiches or lasagne for guests. I think it's because I'm not a confident cook anyway even pre kids so now I'm worse.

@properdoughnut and @countingdowntoholiday - it's not so much people inviting themselves for dinner. It's that lots of relatives never met my DS when he was born during the pandemic. So now that they are visiting him they always tend to turn up around lunch or dinner time. I deliberately avoid meal times when I visit people unless I've specifically been invited for lunch or dinner. Maybe I'm just miserable lol..
But I've decided to come up with a few easy, make ahead, signature dishes that I can just practice a few times and then I'll feel more comfortable having people over. It's always nice to see people, it's just the food and hosting but that makes me anxious. Going to stock up on dishes too, that will make me feel better.

Order takeaway or provide a selection of pre-made buffet food, paper plates, and tell them 'help yourself!'