Do we intervene with kid issues?

[Meandmrsjonesgotathinggoingon]

My DD started school three weeks ago and now doesnt want to go because her two best friends are teasing her. They are all 4 years old. They call her (name change but as an example) Dizzy instead of Lizzie and run away from her. They are her Best friends from Nursery. I am friend’s with the mum’s.
She cries about it every day and never used to be like this. She is my first child so this is new experience for me. Do I speak to their mums?

No, speak to the teacher.

As above. Speak to the teacher. You're in for a looooong ride!!!! Friendship issue

No speak to the teacher, they will be able to get the whole story.

...sorry my phone is jumping around. Friendship issues will go on and on and on....

Always speak to the teacher and as soon as the incidents start. Don’t wait around.

I would also work with your daughter to help her reframe and think through strategies for managing on her own? What you have described doesn’t rise to the level of bullying imo, just a group of kids figuring out their group dynamic. I have 5YO girls, and while they do occasionally try to get a rise out of each other, there is also a fair bit of one saying something with no I’ll intent but the other taking great offence. I have some pretty firm boundaries definitively unacceptable behaviour (physical violence) but otherwise encourage them to work through disagreements themselves. ‘Oh she called you 💩? How did that make you feel? Why do you think she did that? Did you tell her you didn’t like it?’ Etc.

the teacher should be made aware of the dynamic, but won’t be able to intervene in every interaction. Long term, your daughter needs to navigate socially on her own. As painful as it can be to see your kid struggle socially, it is really important that she has some responsibility (with support!) for finding a solution on her own terms

Definitely talk to the teacher. She will be used to a parent saying this kind of thing - friendship issues are so common among children. Don't talk to the parents as they are likely to become defensive if they think you're criticising their DC.

Interested as I haven't been through this yet, because the opinion seems unanimous - if you're friends with the other mums, are they liable to find it weird or get their noses out of joint that you went to the teacher not them?

I totally see the pitfalls of approaching the other mums and the wisdom of going to the teacher instead, just inquiring for both my benefit and OP's how that social situation might go

You don't have to tell them you went to the teacher, and the teacher shouldn't tell them either. It just means that the teacher will be able to keep an eye on the situation and intervene if necessary, eg by encouraging kindness or steering your child towards a different group of friends.

Great explanation thank you. Those of us who haven't dealt with school since we were in it might be surprised how much goes on behind the scenes haha