Really struggling being a mum
KennedyD22 · 23/09/2022 17:03
I have two children 2 years old and 7 months old. I feel like I'm completely struggling to be a mum, feel like I'm really not cut out for this job and...
I actually was just taking 5 minutes to myself and writing this to let some emotion out and I've just checked on the kids in the living room and eldest has drawn all over the walls with crayon...
I cry everyday, I feel myself starting to lose my temper and shout at my eldest. All I hear all day is crying and whinging. I can never feel on top of the housework. Spend time making healthy dinners for them to be thrown on the floor. My eldest goes to nursery 2 days a week and I thought I'd be coping better with this but I still feel utterly miserable. Partner is super helpful when he comes home, and has always shared night feeds 50/50. My mum also looks after them once a week and I work, I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this awful when I get a lot more help than some others do!! I constantly day dream about running away from my responsibilities... which makes me feel so so guilty. I'm back to being a student nurse soon and I have no idea how I'll cope with that extra stress.
Sorry just needed to vent and let some thoughts out
Rafferty10 · 23/09/2022 17:32
oh op Ido feel for you, but with that small age gap you need rules and routine!
i had two under two and a DH who worked away and no family help...my top tips are;
No roaming toddlers!
Create a playroom or play area with babygates, as big as you can spare.
ensure the two year old cannot get out, put toys in and rotate the toys regularly. Don't leave them pens or crayons, only when you have time to sit there and supervise.Have the tv visible from the play pen.
Spend time in there with them games and cuddles etc, but when you need to cook, etc they stay put, remember the tv?
Sometimes just music channels can help.
Get out every morning to a park if possible, l had to as l had a large dog, so literally up at 7.30 and out the door armed with milk for the baby and flask for me, toddler got a chicken wrap en route and we ate in the park, dog and toddler exercised, baby fed and sleepy on the return journey.
then plop in play area whilst you do 30 minutes of housework.
I used crudite as snacks, cucumber sticks, sweet peppers, carrots and always had them ready to bribe/distract. (and no sugar rush)
I also used to give these to chew on whilst l got lunch so l could assume some healthy food was already in them and lunch was then much more relaxed.Ditto tea time! Banana pureed with milk in a bottle (slow to suck) used to soothe and distract my baby when l was dealing with a toddler, so always had these ready.
Mine had regimented nap times after lunch, but l realise not everyone favours this approach ( but great to have 1.5 hours alone!)
No stressful bathtime in the evening when we were all tired.
I used to return from dog walk/park, plop toddler in bath, stand over him and wash my self and hair with baby in cot next door, again tv helps here!
To cope alone l had to be organised, so l planned how l wanted life to be within the restrictions l had
Now 15 and 16, it doesn't go on for ever good luck ...do it your way..
KennedyD22 · 23/09/2022 18:24
@Rafferty10 thank you so much for the tips! Have to agree with the getting out - today I just stayed in as had a lot of housework to catch up on and these days are always the worst. I definitely know that I feel a lot better about my day if we've been out for the morning but then I don't get as much done in the house (I live at the top of a really steep hill and pushing the kids in a double pram kills me for the rest of the day lately, low iron levels.)
I need to work harder on getting them to nap at the same time, lately their routines are complete opposite and it's soul destroying to not get any time alone to crack on with things uninterrupted. My eldest has a good routine with food and naps and sleep really well but I haven't yet figured out a routine with my youngest, I've found just everything really difficult with her as I'm too busy with the toddler.
Rafferty10 · 23/09/2022 21:19
All l can say is it gets easier quite quickly then you miss those days!
mamamomojojo · 24/09/2022 00:01
Kennedy, I feel you as I have 3 little ones and could have written what you so eloquently did. Rafferty, I love your response. We all need a friend Ike you. You’re right. First taking/making the time to charge own batteries.so you’re strong enough to take charge of the situation - discipline is key.
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