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Guilt about asking others to look after baby.....
3

FTMFML · 22/09/2022 23:02

We are really lucky that both grandparents and fit/well and predominantly retired bar one.
I am returning to work soon and I CANNOT get over the guilt of having them look after L.O!
I'm starting to think it would be easier to book nursery and pay for that as it would be easier on my mind. Am I being insane?! They say they are happy to do it... but I worry they are not or feel we are relying on them.

I work shift work(3 days per week 7am-8pm) and I have a " baby sitting rota" as I thought that would be the easiest ie: gran1 will do Mon/wed/half of sat gran2 will do Tues/Sun/half of sat. Not exactly that but you get the idea and OH is off for two days which he will do and he will do from 5pm everyday I am working. The rota was put together by me as a draft and given to everyone to make adjustments/suggestions or say im being unreasonable
Sometimes we will only need help for a few hours and worst case scenario is we will need is 24 hours per week shared among grandparents.

Feel like hitting my head off a brick wall it is really stressing me out and no amount of reasoning seems to be helping.. should I sit down and have a deep chat with them all again?

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Flowerbug1994 · 22/09/2022 23:12

If they say they are happy then am sure it will be fine. If it makes you feel better you could tell them that upon your return to work you will Do a 3 month trial period and see how they are after that. Then they can either tell you if it’s to much or that they are loving it. Don’t feel guilty you have to work. My baby is only 3 months but I will be returning to work full time and my mum is having him I am working from
home sometimes so I will be here mum will also just be here to have him.

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FTMFML · 22/09/2022 23:31

A trial period- that's a great idea thank you @Flowerbug1994 😊

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MotherOfDragon20 · 24/09/2022 13:51

I was in the exact same position as you when I went back to work. Same exact shifts, my mum said she was happy to help but I just knew it was too much to ask, by this point my daughter was becoming a handful toddler and tbh it was a lot for me to have her the full day so I know it was for anyone else! I eventually decided to put her in nursery in the mornings and my mum would have her a few afternoons a week and it’s worked out perfect for everyone, my daughter loves nursery, I have a lot less guilt and because I don’t rely so heavily on my mum for childcare for work she’s happy to have her occasionally overnight for the odd night out! Win win!! Yes it’s an expense we could do without but it’s only for a few years and it’s just a sacrifice we’ve been willing to make.

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