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Why do I always feel like the inadequate, not in control mum?

7 replies

VoluptuaGoodshag · 24/01/2008 15:27

My kids are actually OK but I always seem to really lose it when they play up. I can't seem to take a chill pill. I'm fed up shouting at them, fed up not being heard, being ignored.

I told DD that she had to start getting ready if she wanted to go to dance class. She plays about and then we run late as I'm trying to get all the outdoor clothes on for the 5 minute (15 minute at kids' pace) walk round. Getting the gloves on in itself saw me getting more and more frustrated.

We arrive late, she's too busy looking at all about her to get herself dressed and organised, waving at her pals etc.

Once class is finished it's the same scenario, all the time whilst DS is running around getting into everything and then DD decides to join him wearing only her pants leaving me kneeling on the floor with her clothes at the ready. I even threatened to smack her bottom to get her back in check.

It makes me feel crap and hopeless. I don't smack as a rule but even when I just shout I must look like one of those women just not in control.

I'm loaded with the cold, it's totally keck weather outside, DH is away on business and I'm sick of it.

There rant over and thank you for reading this far

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dippydeedoo · 24/01/2008 15:32

hehe ....welcome to my world !!!

ive felt the same for 14 long years lol and only last week my friend told me she feels inferior next to me as shes such a crap mum .....after a hysterical bout of laughter i told her we are all the same even those u think are totally in control really are only hanging on in ......i think the trick is to smile and look like you enjoy it!!! it doesnt last for long soon she will be 14 and BOY does that get worse!!!!

GColdtimer · 24/01/2008 15:33

come on, in with anger, out with luurrvvve.

Sorry, no help but I think everyone feels like this, especially when you are on your own, its awful weather and you are poorly. Can't you stick em in front of beebies and have a few minutes to yourself?

mollyjoe · 24/01/2008 16:11

Yes sounds like my world too. And as with what Dippy said 14 will come soon enough & you will look back on those years with longing.

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VoluptuaGoodshag · 24/01/2008 16:16

Are there any years when it is actually pleasant then? Or is it all downhill from here?

OP posts:
niceglasses · 24/01/2008 16:19

Oh dear, me too. I am so totally not in control. How come there are those together people? I'm so not a together person.

Feeling bit like this too as lost it with dd3 who WOULD NOT put shoes on to go and pick up the others. Oh dear.

Still, nearly reasonable time for a glass of wine.

dippydeedoo · 24/01/2008 19:24

voluptua usually its pleasant when they are asleep and you have vodka .....

niceglasses no such thing as a together person just someone with ocd who likes to make like she is together - we are all really falling apart,trying to win this super mum comp our parents didnt even enter...

Scootergrrrl · 24/01/2008 19:29

Hope this cheers you up - one of the other mums at preschool saw me dragging DD home during a major in-the-street tantrum yesterday. I was super-embarrassed until she came up to me this morning and said something about not taking this the wrong way but being grateful to see that other children and mums behaved the way hers did. They're all little buggers underneath
The scarily calm mums are probably already a glass of wine down at school pick-up...

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