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Original poster

I haven't read to my dd and it's really worrying me

61 replies

puppyspaws · 21/09/2022 19:09

My dd is 16 months and I haven't really read to her yet. I've started a bit recently but I just struggled with everything in the first year so much that I didn't really find the chance to read to her. She's got a few books (not a huge amount but a few classic ones like Winnie the Pooh) but I'm worried that I haven't exposed her much to them and that it will effect her when she gets to school age and she won't like reading as she gets older. I do other activities with her and talk to her all the time but I worry it's not enough. Also, when I do read to her I'm literally just reading the book to her (in special voices), should I be teaching her things or literally just reading the book to her. Sorry if these seem like silly questions I'm just not really sure what I should be doing

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OrangePumpkinLobelia · 21/09/2022 19:46

Don't worry!

Start now at a pace that you can cope with.

I was desperately ill with PND for my older one and barely read at all. I could barely function.

Just do what you can, when you can and ease up on yourself. Major on hugs and cuddles and singing songs and read when you can.

OrangePumpkinLobelia · 21/09/2022 19:47

Oh and yes- CBeebies. Darned wonderful channel. bedtime story and In the night garden. Do that, beat yourself up less.

SunsetGirl · 21/09/2022 19:47

The things early years staff look for are stuff like: knows how a book opens, how to turn the page, can point to something in a picture when asked. The worrying thing is kids who get to reception and have never interacted with a book, you're doing fine, honest.

Charity shops can be a good source of books, I figured out which ones sold kids books the cheapest. MIL looked out for good books around her. The best is if you can find someone freecycling books their kids have grown out of.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Children's books Families General parenting
OrangePumpkinLobelia · 21/09/2022 19:51

Oh and to add- DS1 is an excellent reader. I read alot more to DS2 and he is good as well. I read a chapter to then now almost every night (aged 12 and 10) and now books that I loved as a child. So the not-reading at an early age meant little in the end.

JaninaDuszejko · 21/09/2022 19:52

You can take out more than one book at a time, ask the librarian in the van. Also, if the librarian knows they have a regular customer they can take the books you want on the van for you.

As well as all the lovely interactive books with flaps and textures when my DC were that age they loved the books with lots of pictures (so e.g. a page of animals or toys or clothes etc) and I'd ask them to point at various things. We had a DK book with photos and the Janet and Allan Ahlberg The Baby's Catalogue which has charming illustrations that are delightfully dated these days. It follows 5 families through their day.

Crocky · 21/09/2022 19:52

My dd used to love an old fashioned nursery rhyme book. One of those with loads of nursery rhymes, Things like Humpty Dumpty. They are usually on sale in supermarkets quite cheaply. Might be worth a try to see if she enjoys them.

Allchangeonceagain · 21/09/2022 19:52

Please don’t worry OP. I’m a massive reader but somehow with the flurry of everything else happening barely ever read to my under 2s. Read to them much more once over 2 and just read what it’s in the book. One child just happy to be read the story, other child asks loads of questions so we talked around the story much more. Both fine m. Child 1 reads all the time now. Child 2 is still too little. Just go to the library and pick some books. You can’t go wrong and definitely not left it too late!

Exhaustedmoose · 21/09/2022 19:52

Facebook Marketplace is a godsend for cheap books

TheMoth · 21/09/2022 19:56

We used to look at 'that's not my..' books and those lovely gossie the gosling ones during the day. But at that age, I used to sing to them at bedtime. Mainly Bob Dylan and Tom waits.

We read at bedtime for years. Do they read as teens? Do they bollocks. I daren't admit that at work.

PotatoHammock · 21/09/2022 19:59

Everything is so much easier once they start speaking a bit. I found it mind numbingly boring "reading" books to a baby, but once they can point and laugh and say "big BIG tiger!!" it just makes so much more sense as an activity.

The main purpose of reading to a baby is just to make sure you remember to speak to them really. With my eldest, I used to sometimes resort to books just because I was too tired to think of my own words to say! With my second, I figured that she was listening to me talk to my toddler all day, so she was hearing plenty of language.

lannistunut · 21/09/2022 20:01

Just start now and do loads. The best thing you can do is get as many books as possible from the library, you can order what you like. Get your DD used to going to the library bus, make it a real treat.

RedToothBrush · 21/09/2022 20:03

I thought you were going to say she was 4 or something not 16 months!

I've got to be honest, I have read to my son much less than most. I've never been one to read bedtime stories. I have a tinge of regret about it, but tbh it just never happened and I've always struggled with reading out loud. Im not a role model for it.

BUT we have always had loads of books in the house and he's looked at them and been familiar with them, even if I haven't read them as often as I should even from a very early age. I believe that is actually what is supposed to be more important. Books being available and normalised in a house, above being read to. I remember him picking up books from being a toddler and 'reading them'.

DS is now 8. He reads really well. He loves reading. In fact we regularly have arguments with him over him reading when he should not be reading.

At 16 months you have plenty of time. At that age, I believe its more about the sitting still for a few mins and taking take with your child as much as anything.

You really haven't missed the boat on this.

What is stopping you from starting right now?

JaninaDuszejko · 21/09/2022 20:04

Another option for free books is Global Education Trust who have free 'book shops' around the country.

properdoughnut · 21/09/2022 20:05

Ah don't panic. Here are some I found helpful:
Spot books
Dear zoo
Wow said the owl (lots of colours)
A nursery rhyme one

You don't need loads and there will always be some on Facebook going cheap. Or the library. The bedtime story on cbeebies is nice too to get an idea of whay stories you like

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 21/09/2022 20:08

@puppyspaws

stop worrying 🌸

she's 16 months, not years. Just start now & it'll all be fine. Hell if you don't read to her until she's at school it'll still all be fine!!

I've read your posts,, but not all the replies, so sorry if it's been mentioned already, but if you post on FB, asking if anyone has any spare books for under 3's you'll be swamped with them!!

You don't need to do anything except enjoy them with her. It's good to point out 'the dog' 'the house' 'the car' or whatever sometimes, but don't spoil the story. Also encourage her to sit with you and look/listen, but don't stress if she wants to get up/wander about/play. She's very little and you can keep reading the story!!

The 'that's not my' books are good. (They're a bit brain melting for the adult) great for learning texture colours, all sorts!!

Celeryfavour · 21/09/2022 20:20

I read to mine but I can't do voices!

You could check if there are any "little library" shelves in your area, it's a shelf/ box/ cupboard outside someone's house where you can swap books. If there isn't one you could start one, people are glad to pass on books and magazines etc. Some are registered here but lots aren't: littlefreelibrary.org/

Snugglemonkey · 21/09/2022 20:23

Can you make requests at the library van? Ours will bring things you ask for when available. A book my DC loved was Noisy Farm, by Rod Campbell. All his books are great. I think books with flaps, noises etc are great as well as books you can make noises while reading. Things that you can touch and feel are great, like the "that's not my..." Books. It there is a great one called peck peck peck with wee holes in.

You have plenty of time to foster a love of books yet!

Idontknowwhatto · 21/09/2022 20:30

The Works is great for cheap classics,and Home Bargains often has very cheap books (less than £1) but the quality of the writing can be a bit hit and miss. Charity shops are great too.

Silenceisgreat · 21/09/2022 20:34

Oh I miss those days. I started when they were babies now my youngest is 17. I remember they loved the flap books hard ones as they tend to tear the pages when young. I also had cloth books and books for the bath. It's never too late! Join a library. Enjoy and make the most of it as before you know it they are driving and have left home for uni........time goes by too fast! 😉

Original poster
puppyspaws · 21/09/2022 20:43

Thank you everyone! You're posts have been lovely and have given me lots to think about. I was never read to as a child and I really struggled at school and as I was growing up I never liked books and therefore don't read now. The last few months I've panicked that I've repeated this pattern with my dd. I'm not sure why as an adult I still find it difficult

OP posts:
GraceandMolly · 21/09/2022 20:48

What a cute post. Don’t worry, it’s not too late. Pick up a few lift the flap books for her to play with during the day.
At bedtime something with big pictures and little text. I’m thinking 1-2 sentences per page. At that age Peppa pig stories were a hit for my girl.
“Where is spot?”
“Ten little dinosaurs”

From around 2 she’ll start appreaciating Julia Donaldson. “Monkey Puzzle” is lovely.

From 3 years Little tiger press have lovely classics in easy language “three little pigs, ginger bread man, red riding hood”.

Good luck!

pandy2 · 21/09/2022 20:54

Some good tips here www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/look-at-a-book/z4pcgwx

catsnore · 21/09/2022 20:55

Absolutely not too late! Kid will never know when you started! Get a load of baby books out the library and just have a go. I know it's a bit weird when they don't always respond but they will learn what it is and eventually will start bringing you books to read! The actual book is less important than the attention you are paying them - associating reading/books with love ❤️

WonderingWanda · 21/09/2022 20:55

At her age I would say some reading could be just looking and tlking about the pictures 'Oh look it's a duck, what noise do ducks make?' We used to keep those sorts of board books in the toy nox. Then at bedtime we'd do a story, all those lovely rhyming or sing song sort of books like Going on bear Hunt or nursery rhyme books are great to read at this age. She will start to enjoy the routine and when she gets older, nearer school age she might even start recognising words.

PenYGore · 21/09/2022 21:04

@puppyspaws have sent you a PM. Meanwhile, books are the most wonderful treasure trove you can give your child. Small children absolutely love rhymes and onomatopoeia ("sound" words - "Bang!" "Crash!" "Smash!" "Whooosh!" etc, etc). My DC were babies 20 years ago, but big hits were Julia Donaldson (The Gruffalo, Room on the Broom, Monkey Puzzle, etc), We're Going On A Bear Hunt, Peepo, Each Peach Pear Plum, In The Night Kitchen, Where the Wild Things Are, and a gazillion others. My DD loved the old Ladybird books with pictures of animals. We had hundreds of books (literally). There was one about an alligator who came to visit - that had lots of "SNAP!" etc sounds in it. What they love is the closeness to you along with the repetition and familiarity - plus it gives them the (correct) idea that there is a whole wonderful world which opens up in books. You're absolutely right to get your child into reading now!