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Parent duvet and next to me crib
14

TowerBridge123 · 21/09/2022 18:27

We've finally gotten around to actually attaching our next to me crib to our bed so that we can have the side down during the night, but...we've only just realised that our king sized duvet (on a double bed) now hangs over the edge and onto the crib! Oh dear :(

I'm thinking that my partner has the duvet to himself and I sleep in a sleeping bag on the bed. Or I just wear thicker pajamas and socks and no cover.

Just wondering how others have managed this please?

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DappledThings · 21/09/2022 18:38

I'm pretty sure we just shuffled the duvet over a bit so it hung over more on one side and was flush with the other/covering me. I don't remember it being a particular dilemma.

The big thing is to remember that is you end up bed sharing and not using the crib to have the duvet no higher than your hips.

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mynameiscalypso · 21/09/2022 18:47

I'd just shuffle it over too. We also barely had the side down on our next to me cot as DS much preferred having it up and being able to scratch his fingernails along it 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Notsoglamanymore · 21/09/2022 21:01

Hi OP, we had a next to me cot, we ended up using it just as a regular cot as after about 2 weeks of using it we learned that they’re not safe for sleep unless used with the sides up and locked and at least a foot away from the bed, it’s a legitimate danger of baby ending up covered with duvet or bedding or pillows if attached and risk of entrapment, positional asphyxia and strangulation if used with the side lowered. I know there will be tons of people who have done it and their babies have been fine but there have also been many that have not and every single one of them was a preventable tragedy. I hope you take this with the kindness it is intended.

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Skiingwithgin · 21/09/2022 21:12

I did loads of research into next to me cord and never came across the above op.

as others have said, we just shuffled the quilt along and left a bigger gap on my side next to baby

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MolliciousIntent · 22/09/2022 03:13

Notsoglamanymore · 21/09/2022 21:01

Hi OP, we had a next to me cot, we ended up using it just as a regular cot as after about 2 weeks of using it we learned that they’re not safe for sleep unless used with the sides up and locked and at least a foot away from the bed, it’s a legitimate danger of baby ending up covered with duvet or bedding or pillows if attached and risk of entrapment, positional asphyxia and strangulation if used with the side lowered. I know there will be tons of people who have done it and their babies have been fine but there have also been many that have not and every single one of them was a preventable tragedy. I hope you take this with the kindness it is intended.

Could you share your research on this please? It's completely opposite to anything I've read.

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babynoname22 · 22/09/2022 03:19

We got it set up next to bed for my 2week old. Just shuffle duvet over

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Onedaytherewasapear · 22/09/2022 04:19

Another family of shufflers....

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Notsoglamanymore · 22/09/2022 09:52

If you have a look at a Facebook group called “safe sleep and baby care-evidence based support “ you will find tons of info, it’s a completely evidence based group so it’s all factual, not opinion or anecdotal and incredibly informative.

But actually if you think about it it makes sense, I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve woken up in the morning to find I’ve pushed a pillow or cushion out and it’s on the floor next to the bed or the duvet is trailing off one side of the bed, If baby’s crib is right next to the bed those pillows/cushions/duvets etc are going to potentially land inside their crib and pose a suffocation risk, and as far as having the side of these cribs down there have been many babies that have ended up wedged between crib and adult bed or have ended up managing to get half way over the down side and not been able to get back over and have been strangled, a quick google search will provide evidence of these poor families stories.
At the end of the day everyone will do what they feel is best for them and their children but I think even one baby that dies in these sort of completely preventable circumstances Is one too many and until the knowledge is out there people will continue to think it’s safe because that’s what they’re lead to believe sadly. Do check out the group, you may just find it really interesting if you have babies or young children.

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SalviaOfficinalis · 22/09/2022 09:54

I just left the side on the next to me and didn’t actually attach it to the bed. Felt like I’d be more relaxed not worrying about the duvet/accidentally knocking the baby.

Also I always sat up and lifted him out to breastfeed so I didn’t really see the benefit.

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MushroomQueen · 22/09/2022 09:57

I think American rules are against next to me cots. I have used the next to me 3 times with 3 kids. I generally used it with the side up next to the bed as a preferred option but sometimes down and I personally don't move much at night my pillows never move - my partner's are always on the floor and he throws the duvet around. The duvet never went near the next to me it was never a concern with any of my 3. I would suggest just move the duvet away from edge

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Teaandcrumpets95 · 22/09/2022 10:01

Honestly when you're sleeping next to a baby you are so aware of their presence even when asleep.

Just moved my lb into his crib after he's outgrown his next to me, always had the side down and never an issue with pillows or quilt.

I'd just move the quilt over or tuck it under your armpits.

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trrk · 22/09/2022 10:06

We both seem to throw the duvet and pillows around a lot during the night so I use my Next to Me as a normal crib with side up a foot or so from the bed. I like it better this way anyway as it’s easier to get out of bed and I like to do the night feeds (bottle fed) sitting on the side of the bed by the crib and then laying her back in the crib asleep (hopefully!). But do what suits you best and feels safe.

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ChildWontStopGrowing · 22/09/2022 21:52

We had a king duvet on a double bed and I don't remember having this problem. I guess we just moved the duvet over so it didn't cover the cot.

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OtiMama · 23/09/2022 22:40

I put the next to me slightly down from top of the bed in order that my own pillow was not level with the cot. For the duvet we just moved it, I think unless you are a mega heavy sleeper you are aware the baby is there.

Really the side should be down while the baby cannot roll over to get stuck down the side etc. Once they can roll I would always have the side up personally.

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