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Original poster

Soft toy comforters

26 replies

jax1986 · 21/09/2022 08:51

Hi. I’m looking for some advice please.

My daughter is 19 months and absolutely obsessed with a little stuffed bunny, she’s takes it everywhere. The obsession started about 4 months ago but still going strong. She loves soft toys in general and will always cuddle them when she sees them.

she’s been at nursery since she was 7 months old and didn’t need a comforter initially. When the bunny obsession started she started taking bunny to nursery. She has him some of the day and when she drops it, it gets put in her basket for the end of the day. When I pick her up she’s asks for bunny and then has him constantly, especially for getting to sleep.

I was looking at a photo the nursery sent round of the babies and realised that out of all the 15 babies in the room, my daughter is the only one with a comforter. Is she too old to have one? Should I be weaning her off it? I just feel so bad about starting to limit her time with it as she loves it so much.

keen to hear from anyone who has also dealt with a favourite toy obsession. TIA

OP posts:

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MissTiggywinkles · 21/09/2022 08:55

My daughter is 5 and still has her BunBun to help her sleep at night. We went through a stage around 18 months - 2.5 when she was obsessed with him too and cried if he wasn’t near her! It’s very normal.
From about age 3 she started becoming less bothered about him - she still needed him to sleep but could manage the days without him. Now at 5 she has announced a few times “BunBun isn’t real mummy/I don’t need BunBun tonight” etc so I think it’s a natural progression. I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re called comforters for a reason, no harm in a toddler having one.

FlounderingFruitcake · 21/09/2022 08:59

DD’s comforter is too precious to lose so it does not go out the house excluding holidays and then it’s packed extremely carefully. It never went to daycare and she napped fine without it there despite being very dependent on it at home. We also try to limit it to bedtime or feeling upset because she sucks her thumb but only when she’s holding it. We’re 4 years into it now so don’t count on it being outgrown anytime soon ha!

minipie · 21/09/2022 09:01

Mine are 9 and 7 and have their beloved soft toys.

However we don’t allow them out of the house (except if going away overnight) as it would be such a disaster if they got lost or destroyed accidentally

I expect this is why the other DC don’t have them in the nursery pics - they are kept at home.

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GiantTortoise · 21/09/2022 09:01

My DD took hers into school with her until the last year of primary school! (It would stay in her book bag by then.) And she still sleeps with it at age 15.

Sago1 · 21/09/2022 09:08

It’s not unusual, our granddaughter still has hers at 8.
I think however if possible to keep the favourite bunny at home for bedtime only.

allinonenight · 21/09/2022 09:09

My son took his every day to nursery with him but eventually it stayed in his bag all day (he just knew it was there) and now he's started school confidently without it.
Just a tip, buy another of the same one now if you can find it, we've had far too many instances of his getting lost and having to go back over our steps to find it. I've now got a replacement hidden just in case!

Footle · 21/09/2022 10:08

@allinonenight , don't keep the replacement hidden, it won't smell right if you ever need it. Alternate it with the original.

ChalkHeartsMelting · 21/09/2022 10:13

Mine took his to nursery every day. We actually had two, one for home and one for nursery but he didn't like leaving one on his peg at the end of the day so trawled both around for a couple of years. Took one to reception for the first half term, then it stayed in the car until he was in about year 5/6.

He's just taken the least decrepit of the two to university

NotLactoseFree · 21/09/2022 10:16

DD is in Year 3. During Covid, she was not allowed to take her toy to school and we had tears every single day. Over the last year, she has been more relaxed about leaving it at home but absolutely could not sleep without it. Now, suddenly, in the first few weeks of this year, she still absolutely LOVES her toy (and actively looks for it when she's upset etc) but she's started forgetting to take it to school (for the tearful goodbye) and she's sometimes even forgotten to find it for sleeping.

I think it's pretty normal. The sooner you can encourage leaving it at home, the better though purely from a practical point of view. The number of near misses we've had.... stresses me out just thinking about it.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 21/09/2022 10:21

My 14 year old is never far from his soft toy owl (4th birthday present), when his is in.

User38899953 · 21/09/2022 10:55

I have adult friends who still sleep with their comforters.

Tdcp · 21/09/2022 10:57

my dd took her "bears" everywhere, she was about 6 when she started leaving them at home though she was around 5 when they could go in my bag instead of being held by her when we were out, obviously she didn't take them to school or anything but out and about / carried them around at home etc she had them constantly. She still sleeps with them and she's almost 8.

Original poster

jax1986 · 21/09/2022 10:58

Thanks all! Good to know that’s it not just us.

weirdly she will accept any stuffed toy as long as it is a bunny and of a certain size. So we can swap him out for different toy brands and colours as long as it is a bunny measuring 18 cm! So no stress about losing him.

Nursery have said she won’t be able to have him when she moves to the next room at 2 so I guess I will have to start doing what others have done and leave him at home during the day. 😢

OP posts:

Caspianberg · 21/09/2022 11:04

Not at all. Ds only just starts nursery. It’s 2-6 years old here.
Every child has to bring a comforter or teddy they like with them. For some it may stay in bag every day, others use daily, others just if upset. The nursery see them as important. For a child to know they have something of comfort from home if needed.

NotLactoseFree · 21/09/2022 11:14

Nursery have said she won’t be able to have him when she moves to the next room at 2 so I guess I will have to start doing what others have done and leave him at home during the day

Seems a bit mean to me. A comfort object is exactly that - for comfort - and a 2 year old may well need it at school. Pre Covid DD's school allowed children to bring one to school but it was kept in their bags and they could only get it out at certain times (or, I believe, if there was some crisis that needed extra comfort).

Original poster

jax1986 · 21/09/2022 11:35

@NotLactoseFree i also thought it was a bit mean. 2 still seems very young to me. Especially when transitioning to a new room. I’ll talk to them about it in a month or two and see whether there is a bit of wiggle room

OP posts:

SuburbanMummy123 · 21/09/2022 11:36

My DS, 2 years old, has a bunny comforter (we have several on wash rotation!). Around 18m he wanted to take it out everywhere with him but we set a firm boundary that bunny lives upstairs and he totally respects that. Chucks bunny into his room as he’s heading for the stairs. At nursery he only has it for nap time. I think if you set a clear & consistent rule, your daughter will quickly accept it. (I still sleep with a cuddly toy, aged 34!)

SquigglePigs · 21/09/2022 11:36

I'm surprised about their stance on the over 2's. My DD only started taking a teddy to nursery a little before that. She and most of her friends still do, they just get popped in their bags. When they were still napping they came out for nap time and then went back in their bags til the end of the day.

SuburbanMummy123 · 21/09/2022 11:38

Forgot to say that when we implemented the ‘upstairs only’ rule we were extremely patient with taking him up whenever he asked to go and see bunny. It’s died down now but for a month or two involved lots of trips upstairs.

Original poster

jax1986 · 21/09/2022 11:50

@SuburbanMummy123 thats so sweet!!! And golly you do sound very patient.

I think this might be a good strategy for us as she understands that bunny can’t swim so can’t go in the bathroom and he doesn’t eat either so can’t be in the high chair.

OP posts:

hewouldwouldnthe · 21/09/2022 11:57

My 9 yo still takes monkey to bed. Leave her alone and don't compare

Original poster

jax1986 · 21/09/2022 13:08

@hewouldwouldnthe as mentioned, nursery have said she’s not allowed it when she moves up to the next room at 2 so was interested to hear from others about their experience with comforters

OP posts:

minipie · 21/09/2022 13:18

I expect nursery’s rule is because they don’t want to be responsible if another toddler damages the precious comforter - toddlers play with toya a lot more vigorously than babies!

Original poster

jax1986 · 11/10/2022 09:59

@SuburbanMummy123 just a little
update. Thanks for your very helpful suggestion. I suggested to my daughter that we put bunny in her nursery bag and she could get him when she needed him. She nodded and handed him over and apparently has been totally fine with him being in the bag. He just comes out for naps and then she puts him bag in the bag herself. She’s then pleased to be reunited with him at home! So looks like we should be fine for when she transitions into the next room in a couple of months. Thanks

OP posts:

jimmyeatworld · 11/10/2022 12:08

Aw this brings back memories of my ds with his "Gigy" it was a standard comforter and he adored it !! It absolutely stunk to high heaven 🤣 I had to sneak it off him to put in the washing machine and when he realised where it was he would stand at the washing machine door sobbing his heart out 😔 he did eventually grow out of it but we still have it somewhere ! Going out was a nightmare as he would just fling it out of the stroller etc , the amount of times a random person ran after me with it lol

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