When did your newborn stop being “fussy” aka a monster

[Moancup]

I feel on the edge. DS showed signs of being a Velcro baby pretty quickly, then the constant evening cluster feeding kicked in, and now we’ve added inconsolable screaming to the mix. He’s eight weeks old but was born at 36 weeks so developmentally we’re trying to be cautious and think of him as four weeks. But when the hell does this improve?

Hmm well my fussy newborn is 13 now and still a monster!
But I’d say the magical 12 weeks was a slight turning point and much better by 6 months especially when food added into the mix.
I presume you’ve had him checked for reflux?

Both mine grew out of witching hours by 3 months.

You're almost there

I formula fed so it’s hard to compare but I found 6-10 weeks was the biggest change. He started sleeping through the night (although that would involve staying up to midnight for the last feed but that’s fine)! Parenting seems to go one way or another. People either want a velcro baby, want them to have all their naps on them, rock them to sleep etc or like me, people are quite set on a routine and have the opposite. I still had lots of cuddles with my little one but he knew from early on that he would be put down in his Moses basket for naps. This definitely helped with him going down at night too, he has no dummy either. He now sucks his thumb to go to sleep and I think when he learned how to do this that helped him soothe himself.

Its definitely not an easy job, just take it day by day and try not to compare

She's almost 9 now and there is no sign of it stopping.

Improved at 6 weeks; drastically improved at 12 weeks. Hang in there!

@Graceandfavours how do I get him checked for reflux? We’ve got the “six week” check tomorrow so I’ll mention it to the GP. The HV seemed to think everything sounded normal.

Human babies are tiny, defenceless mammals more akin to a foetus than a baby. All humans no matter how much you love routine are carry mammals not nest mammals like puppies who are designed to be left in a nest while the mother goes off to get food and water. It’s a very small time relatively speaking in their lives but it’s totally normal and healthy for them to feed around the clock and need to be held to sleep.

I also think it’s easier if you know that the newborn and young baby phase is about feeding around the clock and holding them. It’s easier to just accept it’s a few months of your life and then they become more and more independent as the weeks go on.

There’s no “test” for reflux as such. Does he any symptoms for reflux? You didn’t mention any in your OP but people seem to jump straight to reflux for any baby that cries a lot.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/reflux-in-babies/

As PPs have said, 3 months usually they settled down, they’re used to being in the actual world then, have adjusted to all the scary sounds, smells, etc after coming out of the safe cocoon of the womb. Hang in there.

Never if I'm honest. 2nd baby was a nightmare. Couldn't put her down for the first year.

She's 2.5 now and still very cuddly and affectionate (which is lovely) but she is also an absolute psycho. Cries over everything, kicks off over everything, whinges all day long.

He brings up milk about 20% of the time, although I think that may be because I’m over feeding him as boob is the magic soother. He’s always been a big hiccuper. The main symptom would be crying and being unsettled after a feed, but not every time.

I did read about the fourth trimester in advance but it’s still a shock to realise how inconsolable a human can become.

Not what you want to hear but mine was really grumpy until about 7 months. He was also very sicky, think he was just uncomfortable all the time. Tried lots of different formulas etc but nothing seemed to help.

I was always being told “it’ll get better at 12 weeks/16 weeks, etc etc. And then I’d feel disappointed when 12 weeks came and went it and wasn’t better.

Counter-intuitive, but I felt more relaxed once I’d accepted that it was how it was going to be for quite a while, instead of counting down to the next milestone.

The real turning point for me was sleep training at 6 months, magical.

I found it helped me most to just accept it was going to happen every night. I made sure I ate before it started and then just sat on the sofa watching telly with baby on the boob.

Those days seem so long ago now.

For me 6-10 weeks was hell. Clingy cranky didn't want to sleep... had silent reflux so was also so uncomfortable a lot of the time bless him.

Hes now 14 weeks. Only cries if he really wants something and quite enjoys a bit of independent time. He is an utter joy.. at the moment until the next phase!

The best bit of advice I was given was remember most of these things with babies is a phase. They pass.

Definitely speak with the doctor about reflux if you suspect it. We didn't need meds but knowing about it and things you can do (upright feeding, burping in the middle of a feed etc) will help

Mine is almost 8 weeks and does the evening crying, plus poor sleep on and off, plus velcro baby, plus she has 4 feeds a day that are 1-2 hours long (plus shorter feeds). I wouldn't call her a monster though as she's quite a cheerful baby when she's not crying for milk or because she's tired. Her cluster feeding has settled down, although we still have about 2 hours of drinking in the evening including some crying.

Have you tried a baby sling? I use mine 2 or 3 times a day after a feed. I pop her in and she falls/stays asleep for a couple of hours so I can do stuff around the house or go out with her attached to me still. If I put her in her cot or pram she just cries and 8 weeks is a bit young to leave her to cry it out or the likes.

I had one of these. About 6 months it got loads better. Then was a delightful baby and toddler until 3. That was 6 months ago and has been an insufferable whingebag again since 🤪

@CycleGirl20 we do have a stretchy sling and 80% of the time he’ll settle in it well. I’ve mainly been using it out and about but think I need to use it more at home too.

@Moancup I've got a structured one which I've managed to be able to BF her in since about a week ago when she got tall enough. That's also pretty handy if you can figure it out, although it takes up one hand.

Hi, sounds like you're having a tough time. It is so full on!
I feel like my boy (now 2) was really clingy and cluster fed for hours in the first 8 weeks or so.
I'm due my second and so I'm doing a bit more prep around sleep and feeding etc as I feel like I didn't know any of this until I was into the 4 month regression... anyway I'm currently working my way through the parent and baby coach newborn course.
She has some excellent pointers about making sure your baby has enough sleep during the day (only awake for about an hr then decent 1.5-2hr naps) and is having full feeds (not falling asleep at the boob) as these can lead to a fussy overtired baby in the evening. She also talks about reflux and uncomfortable tummies as being a contributor.