Friends with money buying stuff for DS

[Pepperama]

Not sure how to handle this. Preteen DS and his mates are trying out their new independence and head to the local shops every day. My DS has some pocket money he can spend but just a few pound a week. His mates seem to be swimming in money and because DS isn’t, they buy themselves and him lots of stuff - Pokémon cards, plastic tat, slushies and sugary drinks etc. I don’t agree with buying so much unhealthy and landfill generating stuff every day so don’t really want to give him more money so he can even out. But I’m also deeply uncomfortable that he lets others pay for this stuff for him. He says it’d spoil everyone’s fun if he said he didn’t want any and that his friends don’t mind (and of course he really does want as many sweets and cards and whatever he can get hold of). I don’t want him to feel excluded but I really struggle with the spiral of more more more and the sheer amount of stuff that then just lies forgotten and doesn’t actually bring pleasure.

What would you do?

Unfortunately there are many people in this world who think friendships are bought and paid for. The fact that they are spending it on landfill, sugary shite is even more depressing.

Please be strong. Society needs to learn that this is not a good way of living. You DS will grow up independant, strong willed and have friends because of who he is, not what money he has.

Thanks all - I don’t think he is in any way a bully (certainly nothing I’ve observed or ever hit any hint at from school or other parents). Nor particularly dominant. I think it’s that a group of them are into the same gaming stuff, it’s all they talk about - mind numbing - and it’s how they seem to bond. So they go to the local supermarket, buy ice cream, slushies or pop and trading cards or whatever other collectibles the marketeers convince them they urgently need.

I like the idea of saying ok to sharing food and drinks but not go overboard and give him a bit more so he can either buy his own or buy his ’round’ and say that physical items are not ok. Seems a reasonable compromise

I would be more concerned that your child is happy to allow his friends to buy him things. This would concern me that he is easily “bought” and a bit more of a target in future. I also wouldn’t allow my child to think that it’s okay to use people for personal gain. It’s a slippery slope.

Not to cause concern but are his friends definintely paying for this stuff? It's possible that they're pinching bits and pieces? Fairly common at that age unfortunately. I'd be surprised if any parents were giving 10 year olds £100 a week?