Tips for newborn with toddler

[Sunsetred]

Hi
I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to manage a newborn and a toddler and if anyone has any tips? I'm hoping to have DD1 in a preschool for morning sessions a couple of weeks after baby arrives to give us both a bit of a break but wondering what else I can do? Parents and PIL have offered to help but not sure what would be useful help? I'm sure my mum will do lots of cooking for us!

Firstly, congratulations!

How old will DD1 be when baby 2 arrives? Does she already attend nursery or preschool regularly? If you're only thinking of sending her after baby is born, I'd suggest starting a little earlier (if you can afford it) so she's already settled and happy to go by the time her sibling arrives, otherwise she may link the two and view it as a rejection.

Start the preschool sessions and get her settled before baby arrives. Do it afterwards and it’ll be harder for everyone and you risk jealousy issues. Get a cleaner if funds permit. Personally I found it easier with a strict routine but I know that’s not for everyone, but I liked knowing exactly when baby would feed and sleep and could plan activities with the older one accordingly.

Sling for the baby as it means you're hands free for your eldest. I found getting out in the mornings made the days much easier - we'd get ready and go straight out.

i found the transition to 2 much easier than 0-1 as you sort of know what you're doing. Congratulations!

I actually found toddler and newborn easier than just newborn, only because I found the newborn bit so intense and boring with ds1. (Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but had no idea how to do anything!)
With a second one, you're already committed to dropping off at nursery/going for walks to find interest sticks/whatever, and the newborn kind of fits in around it.

Have somewhere safe to put them down. I had a moment where ds1 was a little 'over enthusiastic' about hugging ds2 when I left him on the floor...

Food - if you can do a spot of freezer filling with meals for you and the toddler, that always helps.

Try and enjoy it - I know it's hard, but you're re-learning something you already know, rather than starting from scratch. I found it so much more relaxing (less time googling 'is this normal?'). I'm due dc3 in a few weeks time, so will be along for the ride...

DC 3 is 5 weeks, I also have a nearly 2 year old. Sling definitely, it's allowed me to manage soft play and the park with both. Bottle with expressed milk/formula is easy to feed in the sling so I can still chase toddler whilst keeping a close eye on baby. You'll soon settle into a new routine.

If you have support then get toddler in preschool well before the baby arrives, it was a lifesaver to have some time alone with baby to rest and sleep while toddler got stimulation at nursery.

Thanks for all the tips and suggestions. DD1 is 2.5 and was in childcare but because we have moved we had to find something else closer. I also wanted something walking distance and the only place I could find was this one but they can't provide an earlier start date.

I had an ergo baby sling with DD1 and it was so uncomfortable and DD1 didn't like being in it either. I think finding a softer sling could be a solution!

There were 15 months between mine (I wouldn't recommend it!) and this is what I did:

Coslept with both
Fed the baby and then the older DC
Spent a lot of time with the toddler when the baby was napping
Older child was at nursery 3 mornings a week at the time and then I increased them to 3 full days
Prepared snacks and would go out for walks/play in the park while baby was in the sling and toddler in the pushchair

I was knackered by the end of it but I think the children were okay!

I had the Hana baby wrap- one of the best things I tried. Stuck with for 6 months for both babies. Didn't really like the ergo if I'm honest. I have back problems and the ergo was uncomfortable.

Watching for advice.

I have DC2 arriving in Jan when DS will be 2y 3m. No idea how I'm going to do it!

A sling is essential. I have an ergobaby 360 that’s good for walks etc but not comfy for being around the house in so I bought a softer ring sling whilst I was pregnant and I’m so glad I did as it’s much comfier to get DS to sleep and then sit down on the sofa.

I agree with PP that getting out the house in the morning helps. It gets the day off to the right start with the toddler rather than them being bored and attention seeking.

Try and have some 1 on 1 time with the toddler as much as you can (difficult I know!) but remember it’s such a big change for them and they’ll need the attention to feel secure. I also say things like “you’ll have to wait baby, it’s toddlers turn now” even if the baby is fine just so the toddler hears you putting them first rather than just being told to wait all the time.

If parents are offering to help get them to hold the baby so you can play properly with the toddler. Or ask them to take toddler to the park or something for a run around.

My approach has basically been happy toddler = happy life. I don’t mean spoiling the toddler or ignoring bad behaviour but setting them up for a good day makes everything else easier and then they’re much more cooperative when they do have to wait for something!

The baby bjorn carrier looks great - has anyone had experience with it?

Yes used it twice, as in not for 2 children, I tried to use it on 2 occasions but promptly gave up because it was uncomfortable for both of us. I didn’t find a sling necessary tbh, but maybe I was lucky that mine were happy to be put down!

My first hated being put down so a sling of sorts is definitely needed this time, just in case.

Im quite worried in general because my first was and is an angel. No one is that lucky twice!