My baby won't stop crying

[bakewellbride]

I've tried absolutely everything. I'm at my wits end. My 4 year old is sitting bravely bedside me, tired and ready to be put to bed but we can't proceed until his sister is down first. She's overtired. I'm just at my wits end. The day itself was also shit.

That's tough OP.

Is your partner there? Can you buy baby in the sling and go for a walk whilst DH/DP puts your daughter down? I spent a lot of time striding about with baby in a sling in the early months!

Oh darling crying newborns are the absolute pits. I assume you are on your own tonight? I hope you get a break soon x

He's a paramedic, it feels like he's always working. He won't be home for an hour and a half. Nearest other help is 160 miles away. I do so much alone and it's so hard. I can't cope.

Sorry, just realised you wrote baby instead of newborn, either way message still applies x

How old is baby? What do you need to do with 4yo to be able to put them to bed?

I have similar ages and tend to just get 4yo to get into bed with kindle to watch something while i sort baby, so she is in bed and ready for quick story once baby is quiet.

6 months sorry can't reply much now she's screaming

I've been there. Do you have a sling or somewhere safe for baby to go while you put older one down?

How old is baby?

Ok. She is old enough to be put in her cot safely and you get oldest down.

Is she teething? If so give calpol.

Have you got a bouncer? Pop her in that with a bit of baby sensory tv, Hey bear channel on YouTube is good. Good luck it is awful, I've been there. You can do this x

The usual routine when it's no dh is that my son plays c bee bies games on my phone while I feed the baby to sleep then I put her down peaceful and asleep then ds and I tidy up then finally I do ds' bedtime routine. It usually works like clockwork and I'm really happy with it but when it unravels it's just awful.

Do you have a double buggy? Can you take them both for a walk?

It's really hard, it's not you, most people have nights like this?

Can you get DD into bed (leave baby in cot for 5 minutes) and let her watch in the night garden or something as a treat?

You can cope, you are coping it's just really hard. Another option is just to take them both into your bed, feed baby and try and just wind them both down. Perhaps some gentle music on your phone or a kids audiobook?

Get both in PJs. Put in car. Drive until at least the baby is asleep, ideally both, then carry them in. Then remind yourself that you are AMAZING and you've smashed a really difficult day and bedtime. Have a hot shower and get in to bed with a hot chocolate and a biscuit and get an early night

Can you tuck 4 year old into bed with a recorded story? Sorry, no idea what people use these days. In my day it was story tapes then CDs. I used to just explain to my older 2 that the baby was very upset and just for tonight it would have to be a tape.
Do you think it is gas, teething, thirst?
It is so difficult when they get past themselves.

Or put her down with some gentle music and leave her for 5 minutes.
It is cold tonight. I am sitting here with cold hands and feet. I have to go and dig out the blankets I keep in the living room during autumn and winter.
Do you think she might be cold?

Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I initially thought just over-tiredness as her naps were a bit of a nightmare but in fact I think it may have been teething but instead of the classic signs (red cheeks, dribble etc) it was more under her chin that felt a bit warm so it was harder to detect. I ran downstairs to get the calpol but by the time I came back up to her she'd fallen asleep. So now she went down without me and without any calpol in her system because I was basically too slow to work out what the problem was and so now I just feel like a shit mum. I just got ds to sleep so at least I managed to not screw that up I suppose. Thanks again for the support, it means a lot x

You are not a shit mum. Just a mum in a difficult situation trying to balance the needs of 2 children. She is asleep now, so put your little boy to bed, then relax and unwind, have an early night yourself.

@endofthelinefinally thanks. She woke up crying once ds nodded off so I got the chance to get calpol inside her! Now just cuddling her. Downstairs I've got washing the sort, washing up to do and a few other little jobs so I'm not sure I'll be able go get to bed early but there you go. Ds starts school full time tomorrow and as much as I'll miss him perhaps on a practical level it'll give me the chance to get on top of things or catch a break. I adore being a mum but sometimes it's so hard and it's definitely relentless. I'm desperate for dh to get the snip - there is no way I am doing this again!!!