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Parenting

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Original poster

Stop breastfeeding 1 year old

23 replies

Sooty1983 · 19/09/2022 16:47

I think id like to.
Am down to bedtime feed which generally is feed to sleep and usually a feed around 2am depending on teething/ sickness.
She really looks for bedtime feed.

What im asking is has anyone just went cold turkey and stopped and put up with the crying for a few nights.

Or, should I try and gently wean over a month say.....im not completely desperate just yet

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Idontknowwhatto · 19/09/2022 17:35

Yes. I went total cold turkey when my daughter was 1. I would not recommend it as I went from all to nothing but I had tried reducing gradually but my child was all or nothing. It was affecting my mental health and I just had to stop.

She cried the house down all night but the next few days were fine. My breasts were agony so I used cold cabbage leaves, expressed excess milk in the bath and took painkillers. A week later I had some kind of hormonal drop and cried for about 3 hours and that was that!

SamanthaVimes · 19/09/2022 19:38

My experience was that feeding increased between 12 and 18 months rather than reduced so a slow approach might be quite difficult (although I’m sure it’s possible if you want to put the effort in).

I haven’t weaned yet but I night weaned at 17 months and just went cold turkey after a few days of talking about it. There was a lot of crying the first night but by the third night it was fine and we could do cuddles instead.

Rella357 · 19/09/2022 20:34

I gradually weaned from 19 months it took 2 months and I am officially done. We had tears on the last week when I went cold turkey for a maximum of 5 mins throughout the week but it was so easy. Would definitely recommend gradually weaning if you don't think you can handle the tears.

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MolliciousIntent · 19/09/2022 20:37

If I were you, I'd break the feeding to sleep habit first, then night wean, and then stop feeding all together. Doing it all at once will be v traumatic for all of you.

worried129 · 19/09/2022 20:43

I went cold turkey with my 20 month old. We were down to the bedtime feed and a feed during the night. The nighttime feeds has started to increase as every time he woke up he wouldn't go back to sleep without a feed.

In the end I just stopped, the first night at bedtime he asked for a feed but gave him supper instead. And when he asked again I wouldn't say no but just distract him with something else.
For example let's read a book, let's have a cuddle etc.
to my surprise after a couple of stories and a cuddle he just went to sleep.
The only tears were mine!
Good luck

ChildWontStopGrowing · 19/09/2022 20:50

Knock out the 2am feed first, then sort out the feed to sleep before you drop the last feed (at least, that's how I would do it)

Original poster

Sooty1983 · 19/09/2022 21:50

Thanks everyone. I had started cutting the feed to sleep a bit shorter a couple of weeks back and did have tears but she did go to sleep after 10 mins or so. Didnt keep it up so done again tonight and going to remain consistent this time and gradually cut it back further. She does sleep through a couple of times a week maybe so will see how we go. :-/

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gogohmm · 19/09/2022 21:56

I went cold turkey around 16 months. I was already down to nighttime only (she was having a cup of milk before bed) but mine were poor sleepers and Co slept feeding to sleep so I actually got sleep. With my eldest I slept in the spare room and she slept in bed with her dad for 2 nights, she didn't even ask him! It was just comfort so I then when back to sleeping in bed too and she never asked. Her sister was more persistent and it took my parents coming and us going away for a couple of nights to break her, until that point she would come and find me

GiantTortoise · 19/09/2022 21:57

I went cold turkey at 12m. It was a lot easier than I had expected, he adapted really quickly to the change.

Whiskeypowers · 19/09/2022 22:02

IME at around this age the bedtime feed would have been the worse to drop
what time is her bedtime feed?
Do you co sleep or not?
I only managed to drop bedtime feed with my first at 15 months old and I think it was because I was pregnant again. Second and third babies had bedtime feeds way past that age

Original poster

Sooty1983 · 19/09/2022 22:19

@Whiskeypowers Its at around 8 and no we dont co sleep at mo.

Im not opposed to going longer I just dont want to get closer to 2. My thinking is the longer i leave it the harder it will be, maybe not.
Also i suppose i know that every baby is different and i have to figure it out myself with her which is annoying ha. Adulting is hard

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unsure144 · 19/09/2022 22:29

Following. In a very similar position.
To pp who went cold Turkey at 11 months- did you replace with cows milk/soy milk etc or leave it completely?

AegonT · 20/09/2022 21:37

I cut individual feeds without drama. Got rid of all but the morning and bedtime feed at 12 months. This was easy with my oldest and involved tears with my youngest - DH held and distracted her or offered water in a cup. I dropped the morning feed at 24 months, no drama with eldest, not anticipating any issues when youngest gets to 2. Bedtime feed stopped being every night when I was out or busy at bed time then stopped when she stopped asking.

Idontknowwhatto · 21/09/2022 07:48

unsure144 · 19/09/2022 22:29

Following. In a very similar position.
To pp who went cold Turkey at 11 months- did you replace with cows milk/soy milk etc or leave it completely?

My baby was a week shy of her first birthday and I replaced my milk with a bottle of cow's milk. It was a mistake as she became obsessed with it instead and that went on for another year but at least it wasn't always me being the milk provider. I don't plan to do this same with my current baby.

Willbe2under2 · 21/09/2022 07:51

Following too. She currently feeds before naps and bed - but I know she doesn't need it as everyone else can cuddle her to sleep! I'm back at work now, and pregnant, so really want to cut down... but don't have the energy for the fight 😔

Original poster

Sooty1983 · 21/09/2022 08:01

@ChildWontStopGrowing To stop overnight did you just let baby cry?
Last 2 nights have started cutting bedtime feed shorter and putting in bed awake and she has went over within 20mins.
If wakes at night same thing. Let her feed but not fall asleep and put back in cot and leave. Hoping she will become less interested and am trying to be consistent.
Because has just started nursery going a bit easier as maybe bit of separation anxiety.
@GiantTortoise then think will try cold turkey in a week?......

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ChildWontStopGrowing · 21/09/2022 08:23

For overnight wakes I didn't enforce it; we did it about 8 months so he was still pretty little - he had already been sleeping through previously so he was obviously ready for night weaning. You've got the natural melatonin working in your favour so it's much easier than daytime settling.

Go to baby and hold her hand/rest your hand on her tummy. Turn on white noise if you use it and you may want to "shhhh" gently and/or pat her rhythmically. Give this AT LEAST 5 or 10 min to see if she'll settle back to sleep
If that doesn't work, pick her up and try rocking. Again, give her some time to calm down
If she's having none of it, feed to sleep

The idea is to make feeding the last thing you offer. It's not instant, but once she starts settling without milk once or twice it does start to become a habit.

Good luck!

GiantTortoise · 21/09/2022 20:58

Good luck OP!

Biscuitsneeded · 21/09/2022 21:10

I don't know if this will work for you but it happened by accident for me. We had to visit two sets of relatives on consecutive days. Like you i had got down to only feeding at bedtime, after the bath. So we did the tea and a cup of warmish cow's milk and bath at the relatives' house and put DC in pyjamas in the car for the drive home. Both times he fell asleep and we were able to carry him up to bed without him waking and asking for breast milk. Seriously, by night 3 he had pretty much forgotten he ever did breastfeeding! I was actually a bit sad because I had wanted to consciously do my last feed, but I was also 5 months pregnant with his brother and just needed to give my boobs a rest before number two arrived.
Could you arrange to do tea and bath at a friend's house and then just drive around a bit until DC drops off?

Jurassiclover · 21/09/2022 21:36

I didnt necessarily do what's recommended but I successfully weaned my DS by the time he was 13mo.

What I did was I changed the before bed feed to cows milk in a bottle (only because DS will happily drink out of a open cup/straw cup so I know I can get the bottle off him soon, he also has no teeth yet so no ill effects of a bottle really) but I continued to feed during the night if he wouldn't re-settle.

Naturally after a week or 2 he started sleeping through and so wasn't feeding due to sleeping all night, when this happened as soon as he awoke I'd make sure he had his breakfast pretty soon after.

There was a couple of times he would feed in the night or first thing in the morning when he woke up. I never actually stopped offering the boob overnight he just gradually stopped taking it himself and would instead snuggle and hold my boob, until eventually he would settle with a normal cuddle no boobs out.

I do now have to switch his bottle to a cup etc but I figure that's an easier transition so will tackle that in the coming weeks now he's fully boob-free.

Original poster

Sooty1983 · 22/09/2022 07:17

Thanks v much to those who replied most recently. Few more methods to try if after a week what im doing hasnt improved.
Fed and put down awake lastnight at bedtime and took 20 mins to go over... Woke at 12 fed again and put down awake, no crying.
Woke 2.15, fed even though know was def just a comfort suck, crying for 30mins but did eventually sleep and wake at 6.40.

Just incase anyone reading plus a bit helpful for me to write down as a bit broken this morn lol

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Twinmama1 · 21/10/2022 11:12

Can I ask how this is going?
I feed my 12 month old 3 to 4 times a day and am thinking of reducing feeds week by week. So dropping morning feed this week then afternoon feed and finally keeping the night feed until I stop. Does this sound ok? (I’m sure my baby will have his own opinions!) x

Original poster

Sooty1983 · 21/10/2022 20:44

Hi @Twinmama1 Because I was going back to work at 12 months I did as you are saying and started dropping one daytime feed every few days. Then because she generally only woke once during the night got husband to go in for a few nights and she went back over ok if he rubbed her back, there were a few tears and still would be sometimes but he reassures her and then leaves. Been going well for about 2 weeks and I do not know myself as finally getting some unbroken sleep. Carried on with bedtime feed until Monday just past and got husband to put her down and again a few tears but so far so good and that seems to be us finished. So yes worked well for me and hope does for you both too

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