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Anger Issues In 8 year old boy

2 replies

Stressedandpoorlydressed · 19/09/2022 14:47

My husband and I are struggling to deal with my 8 year old sons angry outbursts. These usually come after he doesn't get his way. He lashes out out and hits my husband (although never hits me) and then will stomp upstairs slamming every door he can find. After a while he calms down and will reluctantly come and say sorry for his behaviour. I guess I am just looking for any advice on how to help him deal with his angry feelings without lashing out with words or his hands.

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Orangepen13 · 19/09/2022 19:46

I guess there might be some nuances depending on what the main triggers are. Do you notice any patterns other than when doesn’t get their own way? Or any times they don’t get their own way and do cope?

Two things you can try: mirroring and modelling. Mirroring is when you mirror the child’s emotions back to them, so telling them “I think you’re feeling angry” or “oh I can see your stomping, are you feeling cross?”. This can just start giving them the language so they can help let you know with words.

Modelling is when you show the child the behaviour you want to see. So, if you’re feeling angry, saying “oh this traffic is making mummy so angry, I think I will have to do some calm breathing”. Or whatever it is that helps you cope!

We just got a book from the library called “Mad” which is a really helpful way of naming the feeling in a fun way, and gives lots of redirection activities!

Anger is a tricky feeling because we often have our own reactions to anger. So it can also help to think about what anger brings up for you and your partner, or how anger usually shows itself at home.

Dr Martha and Dr Siggie are two great insta accounts about child psychology

Stressedandpoorlydressed · 20/09/2022 18:43

Thank you for your advice.

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