Shared care split

[freesia86]

My partner and I have decided to split up. DD is 6 and DS is 3. They are used to dad looking after them on his own for a night or two as I sometimes travel for work.

If you split up with children around this age, can you tell me how you arranged shared care and what worked well for you?

We are looking at doing 60/40 shared care or potentially 70/30 which would be dad having them every second weekend and on Tues/Wed nights during the week. That would mean one week that I would get them back for just one night before they back to dad's house again for the weekend but I think they are too small for a four night stretch away from me at the moment? I just want to do what is best for them which is definitely being out of an environment where both of their parents are deeply unhappy.

If a 4 night stretch is to long what about the following:-
Week 1 - parent 1 Mon&Tue then Fri-Sun night parent 2 - Wed & Thur
Week 2 - parent 2 Mon&Tue then Fri-Sun parent 1- Wed&Thur

It's more like 50/50 but it allows for school handovers if relations fraught. And saves on long gaps for either parent between visits.

Thanks @DoraTheScottishExplorer I will discuss with him, we are trying to keep it to the same days each week so that we can do the same childcare hours from week to week but that could be a better option.

Things aren't fraught as such and I think they will be much better when we don't live together, it has just got to the point where we barely speak. I didn't want this but he wouldn't go to counselling to try and discuss our communication issues and now we are at the point where it can't go on. I am incredibly lonely and I don't want my children growing up thinking this is normal in a relationship.