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Separation anxiety and new baby

2 replies

Mamabear04 · 18/09/2022 10:42

DD is 2.10yo and DS is 9wo. DD is still struggling with having a new sibling. She is very good with him, says she loves him all the time, helps change nappies, sings to help get him to sleep etc. She is generally very sweet and patient when he is awake and when he goes down to sleep I try to give DD 1 on 1 time. She loves to play games with her animal figures but if I ever need to stop to do something else or just need a break she goes crazy and has a tantrum. It's like the more 1 on 1 time I give her the more it's not enough if that makes sense? The house is a tip and as much as I and DH (who works full time) try to keep on top of things it's starting to get me down. I feel guilty for not being able to give DD what she wants and then I feel awful for living in what feels like a dump with stuff everywhere (priority goes to cleaning instead of tidying). At night time she gets really upset and won't go to bed. Every night it's a fight and then when I do eventually leave the room (because she 100% won't go to sleep or calm down with anyone in the room) she'll shout "I want you mummy" on and off for a good hour. If I go back in to see her the whole thing starts again so I try not to hnless she is crying but I feel so guilty for it. What do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mamabear04 · 19/09/2022 12:30

Shamless bump

OP posts:
SamanthaVimes · 19/09/2022 13:33

Getting a new sibling can be so tough. We’re in a similar boat with a 2.2yo and 8 wo.

With the cleaning can you get her to “help”? My MIL had DD the other day and had her cleaning windows with a squirty bottle of just water and a cloth, kept her happy for ages apparently. She also likes telling me which bits of floor to hoover and boss me around essentially. It takes longer than just doing it myself but keeps her happy at the same time.

Alternatively can you afford a cleaner? I’m seriously considering it.

I’ve tried to make the 1 on 1 time as engaging as possible to really fill up her attention cup but I think some tantrums are inevitable as they get used to such a big change. It’s really hard being 2!

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