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Original poster

Baby will not sleep - please help!

10 replies

Optimistic2021 · 17/09/2022 10:39

Hi, I have a 7.5 month old who has recently decided she will not sleep in her cot at night. She will normally go down in her cot at first and then wakes after 45 minutes and after that she will only sleep if being held or in my bed, this has been going on for weeks now and it's exhausting. I'm pretty sure it's because of her teeth but there are still no sign of any so it doesn't look like they will come through anytime soon! When she wakes and I pick her up, she's sleeping before her head hits my shoulder but the second you put her back down she's awake crying, I just don't get it. If I put her in my bed she will sleep all night 🤯

I don't like co sleeping as just worry that she will either fall out the bed or be squished and my DH now has a sore back from sleeping on the couch so don't want to be doing this long term 😂

Has anyone experienced this or have any suggestions on how to get her to sleep in her cot? Her day time naps aren't great, never have been. She will sleep in her pram or on me but again won't have a daytime nap in her cot.

Thank you

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MolliciousIntent · 17/09/2022 15:07

Have you tried sleep training? You could probably sort this is a week if you tried Ferber.

Original poster

Optimistic2021 · 19/09/2022 04:12

I did read about Ferber and tried it last night and tonight. Last night went ok but tonight has been awful, she has cried all night and will only sleep for around 20 minutes before waking up screaming and it then takes ages for her to settle again. She gets herself so worked up and I just can't bear to leave her like that.

Her teeth are definitely bothering her but I just don't understand why she will sleep in my bed but nowhere else when she used to sleep quite happily in it. If I let her sleep in my bed until this passes am I creating a rod for my own back? 🤔

OP posts:

northernlola · 19/09/2022 04:31

I would just have her in my bed. You know she sleeps when you do that. Personally I wouldn't do anything that involves leaving her to cry, but I know those methods work well for others. I'd just have her with you short term then work on it later!

Bed rail so she can't fall out. Can an alternative to the sofa be arranged for DH?

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Threelittlelambs · 19/09/2022 04:37

So upright in her pram and upright on your shoulder? Suggests it’s reflux. Put a pillow under her cot so head above legs and see if that works better.

FTMbg · 19/09/2022 04:43

I got through a similar phase by putting cot at side of bed, my arm in cot through bars to settle her while still resting myself, took a while to begin with but she relearned to be comfy in cot and self settle. Also used white noise or specific relaxing music and a red nightlight.
Having said all that, if you think it’s teeth, have you tried Calpol before bed? Good luck.

Carbis · 19/09/2022 04:49

Give ibuprofen before she goes to bed if you think she’s teething. Otherwise it might be separation anxiety. Both of mine went through really rough stages at that age and then it passed. I would do whatever you need to do to get through this phase but I can reassure you that even though it feels impossible now, it will get better 💐

anotherscroller · 19/09/2022 04:52

Have you tried this? amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/13/scientists-find-out-the-best-way-to-soothe-a-crying-baby

what I learnt from this is not to go straight from rocking to the bed, but to go from rocking to sitting still holding the baby, then to the cot.
makes a lot of sense.

please do not attempt non-responsive sleep training.

CaptainWentworth · 19/09/2022 04:55

Yes, if you think its teeth have you tried painkillers? For some reason I find nurofen is better than Calpol for teething pain.

Solidarity though - DD1 was a bit like this at times (can’t remember exact age, but similar) and I did just end up co sleeping with her for short periods when nothing else worked. Like you I hated it (found it hard to sleep myself) but at least we had a spare bed for DH to retreat to. And she did go back to settling in her cot when she was past whatever it was that was bothering her - she’s now almost 4 and has been sleeping really well in her cot, then toddler bed, since before she was 2. So please don’t worry that once you cosleep you have to do it forever - I stressed about that.

Could you sort a temporary sleeping set up for DH for when you end up co sleeping - like an airbed he can pull out or something? Or one of those cube things that fold out?

Spicycurry · 19/09/2022 05:04

I had this to a T. Fast asleep in my arms or my bed next to me, screaming all night in cot.

My baby was older than yours but I sleep trained. It luckily only took one night, be warned that night was wretched, but it did sort things.

MGee123 · 19/09/2022 06:35

I would decide where you want her to sleep and then you need to stick to it - rigidly. If you want her in her cot long term you have to stop picking her up. Yes she's going to be cross and will make a fuss but you will have to ride it out. Keep lying her back down again, hand on her back and shhhh gently. It might take some time but she will get there. You could use other sleep training methods to probably get a quicker result, depends on what you're up for. But either way - decide where she is going to sleep and stick to it. Bringing her into your bed on some occasions will confuse her.

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