First time mom asking for help

[momdipsy]

Hi fellow moms out there!
It's my third month since having baby Violet. I feel like it's already been a collar coaster ride for me. I am super sleep deprived as I have to breastfeed her in the middle of the night, while I hear my husband snore next to me.
I always fear that I am not doing enough for her and always challenge myself if I am doing the right thing. This is driving me crazy...any tips for myself to feel and live better?

will she co sleep with you so you can doze while she feeds?

I bf both of mine for at least 6 months and this was how I kept up with sleep, is your partner helping in other ways?

Have you spoken to your husband about helping? Maybe getting up in the night and changing her nappy before she has her feed?

Have you considered expressing?

Shower every day for five minutes of peace - chocolate/coffee/Netflix - nature - lies in at the weekend - connection during the night like Mumsnet or Instagram - treasuring the moment knowing it won't last - lots of luck :-)

I wouldn't ask your husband to get up, then there's two of ye tired, I think it's better for him to sleep and help more the following day with nappy changes, laundry, meal prep, cleaning etc depending on his schedule

You will be asked to introduce a bottle, I find its the first suggestion people have but honestly I found it such a faff and the stress of trying was worse than just feeding - also after the three/four month mark feeds are so much less and so much easier and then you don't have the bother of prepping bottles etc :-)

I second what @QforCucumber suggested, co-sleeping even if you don't want to do it for the full night. I used to start off the night with my little one in his cot, and depending on how tired I was he would end up in bed next to me breastfeeding while I slept at some point during the night or early morning. Breastfeeding while lying down on side next to baby was one of the best things I ever learned! I wanted him to be able to sleep by himself too though, so if I had the energy I would usually put him back in his cot.

Also, just remember that this time will pass, he will eventually get better at sleeping! Try and get to bed early whenever baby sleeps, and get some naps in during the day with baby if you can. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do much else other than take care of baby throughout the day. And always do one thing just for yourself every day, even if just a cup of coffee or shower or watching your favourite tv show.

I would suggest to express milk and give her a bottle for the night. My milk was never enough (baby wanted to be on me all night) so I give the milk in the bottle instead and she slept through every single night from 8 weeks. Breastfeed during the day and bottle at night!