Need coping tips asap

[Onegoingontwo]

How do people cope with being stuck at home with their kids? I have a two year old and a 6 month old so tips around coping with those would be helpful also. Feeling very fed up and bored of my life right now.

Train the baby to take some naps in the buggy and be out of the house as much as humanly possible. Library, rhyme time, church playgroup, coffee mornings, the lot.

Also, timetable the day for yourself, then you only need to pass small chunks of time before the next part of your schedule.

Try breaking the day up into chunks. I used routines from a book so I had a plan for the day and I tried to get out of the house for a change of scenery. You can probably find similar online nowadays. Even just a walk round the block or to the corner shop.

Maybe try a toddler group local to you. I made a friend on the local board on here whose baby was the same age and we would take it in turns at each other's houses.

It can be very isolating, hope you are ok.

As @DesMoulinsRouge said, it can be very isolating. The days are exceedingly long with a baby and toddler sometimes. I turned into the crazy lady who chatted to the teenager at the tesco checkout just to speak to someone who wouldn't scream at me.

Get out of the house as much as possible, what do you mean by being stuck at home?

I'm think I'm struggling with this constant heavy feeling of it always being like this. I know it won't be forever but I've had 27 months of this and I've got another 3 year's minimum to go. Maybe longer because I don't see my son getting any easier until he's at least 4/5. When people tell me "It won't be like this forever" I really just want to scream. It's so unhelpful. And I don't know how to cope with that thought. I'm very focused on the future, always have been, because the future gives me something to look forward too. Gives me purpose or motivation to keep on doing whatever horrible thing it is I'm doing or going through right now. But the future where it will finally be easier is not in a couple of days, weeks, or months, it's several years into the future. YEARS. How do you cope with that? How is anyone supposed to be okay with being a slave for the next 4 years?

Buy magnetic tiles and plastic toy animals. Build the animals houses, castles, spaceships and tents. Magnetic tiles are super fun and the possibilities are endless. Best toy hands down. Baby can watch you play and they're not a choking hazard. Get at least a 100pc set of the tiles.

A bit of screen time to break up the day (look for educational programs, your toddler will learn a tonne!).

Look for local playgroups and library songtime etc.

Also consider getting a part time job once your eldest is eligible for free nursery hours (if in the UK). I got a 14 hrs a week job and it made a huge difference to my mental health.

Do you think you could be depressed? I had awful PND with my oldest child and felt very much like you describe.

I took citalopram for about 18 months and it really helped me. It cleared my mind so I could stop catastrophising and that helped me to get out and about which in turn helped me feel better.

Kids get easier in increments, they are nowhere near as hard work at 3 as at 2. It's a gradual thing.

Are you eating well? Do you get any breaks at all? You are probably tired all the time and this all contributes.

I would urge you to speak to your gp about how you are feeling. I know it's difficult, but it does get easier. I have always been future focused too but I have had to force myself to live in the moment a bit more and do things for my own wellbeing. This is on the basis that I can't take care of others if I'm not well myself.

Why are you stuck at home? It’s not lockdown get out and about. Or do you mean being a sahm, in which case if you don’t want to then think about getting a job instead.

Try to get out of the house as much as you possibly can. There's always lots of baby/toddler groups in different places. When I was on mat leave it really helped to have some sort of routine... mondays I would attend one baby group, wednesdays I had the nursery rhymes at the library, thursday another baby group. On other days I would go for a walk, or visit a friend, or do the shopping. It helped break up the week and have some sort of normality rather than having every day just melt into the next.

In terms of feeling like a slave to your child, I felt like this all the time (and still do sometimes) until recently. I think the times when I most feel like this is when I think I should be able to spend the entire day doing what I want to do without interruption, which is of course impossible with small children. It took me a few years to accept the reality of this. Once I did let myself accept it, it started to feel easier. I now assign myself an hour or two a day (usually after bedtime or during nap time) to do whatever I want. And just accept that the rest of the day will be spent caring for the kids. Which goes back to the first point of trying to be out the house as much as possible, it helps pass the time quicker until nap / bedtime!

It's not easy to accept the reality of having kids and how much your life changes, it was really difficult for me. But until you do, you won't be able to stop feeling like a slave and will end up resenting your kids - I know I resented my little one for a while, and I hated that.

I really hope you feel better soon!

How do people cope with being stuck at home?

Honestly? I didn't, I returned to work after 8 months both times as being at home full time just isn't for me - I need adult conversations and the familiarity of work to keep my mental health right.