ELI5: how to get a baby to nap

[NewMum54321]

5 months old… how do I get baby asleep for a nap?

Won’t feed to sleep, rocking to sleep takes far too long, bouncing in the bouncy chair used to work and has stopped.

The internet is full of useful advice like:
“Drowsy but awake”. Ok, so how do I get baby drowsy?
“Encourage them to self soothe”. Ok, how? Are there babies who miraculously make themselves go to sleep? All we have here is escalation to the point of hysterics.
”Stick to a strict sleep schedule”. Ok so a wake window is two hours, but I can’t successfully click my fingers after 2 hours.

I really need a play-by-play guide for dummies on how to go from a baby with signs of tiredness to a baby who is asleep in their cot.

Please help!!!!!!

This was me. And I have to say cry it out sleep training changed our lives. It really wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

Baby will whinge slightly most days or sometimes cry for about 15mins but will then fall asleep at naps. Bedtime is even quicker. It can take a week for them to nap train and 3-4 days for bedtime training.

Put them in their cot. Give them a dummy. Turn out the light, shut the curtains, put in the baby monitor and walk out of the room.

If they're not asleep within 15 minutes, go back and try again an hour later.

I’ve just tried for the third time since 2.30. I recorded the hysteria after 6 minutes but I can’t share it annoyingly. It’s insane. I lasted about 20 minutes the first time but the hysteria didn’t subside. About 10 minutes the second time. And this last time was 6 minutes. Still no sign of sleep, getting more and more overtired. Where am I going wrong? A few days ago I got in the shower for half an hour to drown out the sound and still no success. I’ve also tried sitting next to the cot patting and stroking but it’s no different (but also, I can’t really do this as I have a toddler). Where do I go from here?

I don't have much to offer but this was literally me a few months ago! My boy would not nap in his cot! I'd spend hours trying.

He slept through the night so I know he was happy in his room but I don't know what it was.

In the end I gave up and he suddenly at 8 months decoded cot naps are amazing and hasn't slept on me since!

So for me it was just letting him lead and he'll be ready in his own time which is what so many people told me!!

With they nap in a buggy?

Also, I found using night time lullabies helped calm him and he has a muzzy with him Everytime so now he can self sooth with that

Will nap in car…. This is what I resorted to last week for every single nap but my god I got bored and it used so much petrol 😅 but also, I have my toddler with me 75% of the time so it’s really not fair on him to have to sit in the car.

We we’re getting on OK… wasn’t brilliant…. But OK until the four month sleep regression hit and now it’s just awful. I just feel like I’ve tried so much that I must be missing something obvious.

Sorry namechange fail! I didn’t realise I’d used another name to post the OP!

The book Precious Little Sleep offers a lot of ideas and information that might help. Worked wonders for DD(3) back when she was 5 months or so. Ebook is easy to access and a quick easy read. Good luck!

Mine didn't take too much trouble to self settle at 5/6mo once I'd introduced a comforter toy/blanket. Then he was happier (still had a couple of days of tears but only or 3 times going in tk resettle).
I got him attached to the comforter by giving it to him all the time. Feeding, nappy changes, in the pram etc.

The quick answer is: after an appropriate awake window, put them in their bed in the dark and keep them calm. A tired, calm baby will go to sleep.

Getting them calm is another matter. White noise helps, rhythmic patting, stroking their head, dummy... whatever works

They can cry for up to an hour unfortunately. What I did the first time was...

Made sure they had fresh nappy and had been fed
Put them down in cot
Room has to be dark
White noise machine on
No talking, rocking or body touching

Then I sat on the floor near the cot where baby couldn't see me, watched the baby monitor whilst also watching Netflix on my phone with headphones (so the cries don't torture you). The first couple of days are the hardest but it does get easier. With the crying out method you can't intercept at any point as your baby will then believe you will come back after 30 or so mins after crying and have that association. So you have to be strict. The one thing that comforted me is the motto "the baby will never remember it when they wake up".

5 months old is still so little, I really wouldn't be attempting sleep training at that age personally, especially cry it out. He's not going to understand, he just wants to be with you. He'll just learn that you don't come when he cries.

My baby used to sleep in the bouncer until about 3 months. And then until maybe 6 months or so every daytime nap was on me, he wouldn't sleep anywhere else (fortunately he'd sleep in the next to me at night). I was fortunate to be on mat leave with no other kids so I watched lots of Netflix and put him in a sling a lot and walked around my house for hours.

A few months later I was able to start putting him down for naps once he'd fallen asleep and now at 11 months he falls asleep on me in 10 mins or so and then I transfer him to the cot for the rest of his nap. I haven't done any training, just followed his cues really. I know some people would think it ridiculous that I can't just put him in his cot and leave him to fall asleep at this age but I'm not personally willing to leave him to cry, not at the moment anyway.

Not saying the same will happen for you, all babies are different and their sleep changes constantly. But you will probably find that his ability to self settle and fall asleep without your help improves naturally to some degree with time. I don't think there's an easy fix for most babies unfortunately

Mine would never do this. Cot naps were a complete mystery to me.

Figured out eventually that they'd go to sleep in their pram for a good long while. That worked, and saved our sanity.

The cry it out method can be used from 4 months actually, as that is an age when they no longer need night feeds. Not saying that every parent should use that method but you're wrong in saying the baby is too young at 5 months.

www.healthline.com/health/baby/cry-it-out-method

OP, the baby's sleeping habits might improve by 6 month's old once they start weaning and feeling fuller.

I don’t really want to “sleep train” (in any extreme sense) but I do need to succeed in making naps happen else the day just becomes a big old emotional mess. And all the nicey nicey soft ways aren’t working. So if there’s some tough mum shit that needs to go down then so be it.

Bedtime and night time sleep are absolutely fine. Bedtime takes all of about twenty minutes from bath to asleep, and nighttime wakes are one or two, both easily settled.

I posted on another forum and someone suggested a nap routine. I think I’ve been failing at noticing sleep cues so I’m scrapping any intuition and being strict with wake windows, and then stealing some of the night time sleep cues (sleeping bag on, lullaby machine playing). It worked this morning. Seems so fucking obvious now I take a step back and look without the foggy lense of desperation. Fingers crossed it wasn’t a one off and I can actually get into a good routine. Definitely need to before weaning, forgot that was round the corner!

And I do think this is absolutely spot on. I remember reading something with my first about how an adult won’t fall asleep if their filled with rage / crying their eyes out. So we can’t expect a baby to really. Getting a calm baby to sleep is a lot easier than an unhappy baby. I just think I’m epically failing at noticing for sleep cues so I’m not starting with an unhappy baby, so setting myself up for failure.

Sleep training is just helping your baby to sleep by removing the crutch they have to sleep and replacing it with the ability to fall asleep on their own

Pick up put down is worth a try (Google it) or controlled crying once the baby is 6 months

I’ll accept any sleep crutch right now if it makes napping a regular thing and not just something that we’re sometimes miraculously lucky with. Was finally making progress with naps until the four month sleep regression and now it’s an absolute shitshow again.

Thanks, I’ll look into pick up put down!

@NewMum54321 - it took me till about 6 months to see my sons sleepy cues properly when it comes to day time naps!

It takes time for you to learn this how this baby works so give yourself time!

And when they do go down treat yourself to a slice of cake and pat on the back!x