Emotions going from 1 to 2 kids

[december2020]

We're currently considering TTC for no2 (making sure financials are there especially with the upcoming recession, as age isn't on our side) to wait either).
And the closer we're getting to deciding to go for it, the more emotional I'm getting.

Not about having a second, it would be very much wanted but rather around my relationship with my first. Things like what will happen with my relationship with DS, will he be angry that he won't have the same amount of attention from me and feeling a bit sad for the change that would affect his life.

I know kids adapt well, and people have 2 or more kids all the time, but if feels like an odd sense of mourning.

Am I crazy? Or is this quite normal?

Totally normal and probably best you're going through these feelings now rather than 1 week postpartum like me!

Totally Normal for the parent, I honestly doubt most young children notice or care.

It has been a rude awakening for me having a second child. We're now 10 weeks in and finally I feel like it's starting to get better but it's honestly felt like one long day of survival mode, with the two kids demanding more than DH and I could ever hope to give them (we don't live in the same country as our families which has made it extra challenging). DH is essentially a single parent to DD(3) and I'm with the baby 90% of the time so yes, my sweet firstborn has really had to cope with MUCH less mummy time.

And yet... I'm so proud of the family we've created. My daughter and I are finding new ways to sneak in connection time (like lying with her at bedtime which I never did before), and I'm so so proud of how she's been learning to be a bit more independent even if she does have her moments of acting out. My DS(2 mos) is quite high needs but he gives the biggest smiles and I'm besotted with him.

I've done many difficult things in my life but these past 2 months have BY FAR been the hardest thing I've ever done (I'm sure DH would agree). But it's only uphill from here (I hope!).

That's my honest appraisal of having two.

Thank you so much everyone for sharing your experiences ! I'm so glad this is normal and I'm not a total loony!

@Miriam101 oh gosh! That sounds tough! Did you feel it got better quickly?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I think you're right, totally a parent thing and kids quickly adapt

@Endlesslaundry123 that sounds so hard! But amazing on how you're seeing all the positives while going through it. We also have family that live abroad and 100s of miles away in the UK so would very much being trucking on with minimal help outside of DH and I. I'm hoping that while it'd be difficult, it's just a short(ish) amount of time and then starts getting better when they're both walking and talking.