You are my last resort. - need advice. 3 year old daughter wants to but no sucess!

[jampickles]

Hi,
I really need your advice to train my three year old.

We have had two prevoius attempts for 3 days and 2 days respectively and we have never got anything in the potty.

We are now on attempt number 3 at my daughters request (she really wants to wear big girl pants and not nappies). Today is day 7 and so far all we have managed is two wees in potty when my husband or i have lifted her as she has been weeing and we have caught most of it in the potty.

She must have quite a lot of control as she has held on for over 6 hours between wees one day but other days it is more like 2-3 hours.

I have told her that if she doesn't start doing some wees or poos in potty/ toilet we will have to go back to nappies. She always says no I don't want to wear nappies. About once a day when I ask if she needs a wee she says she does and she sits on potty for 5 minutes but nothing comes.

We have a star chart and she knows she will get one of her favourite sweets if she uses potty.

I also tried bribing her with TV and she sat on potty for more than an hour but nothing came.

I see her dancing round sometimes and ask her if she needs to go - she says no and less than 5 minutes later there is another accident - if I try to force her to sit on potty at these times she throws a tantrum.

It is starting to really get me down as i also have a 7 month old to look after and I try to not get annoyed as I clear yet more poo and wee off our carpets!!

If she is really ready then it should not be so hard, of course I understand that she wants to be wearing big girl pants - perhaps see if you can hold her off until spring.

If not, then I would plan toilets times thoughout the day(not to many though) say when she gets up, mid morning, before lunch, mid avo, before dinner and before bath/bed. Make it part of a routine before eating, so that she tries to wee, washes hands, then has snack.

If she throws a tantrum before going on potty give her the option of using the potty or wearing a nappy - be prepared to follow through if she chooses not to sit on potty.

It really does sound like she needs a little more time, perhaps keep her in nappies but let her try using the potty through out the day.

Sorry I can't be of much help, I've toilet trained 10 children easiest one was nearly 2 yo B who one day announced he didn't want to wear nappies from that moment used toilet. Longest(and most frustrating) was a nearly 3 yo B who had to be trained to attend school and it took nearly a year to be fully consistent.

Hi, That sounds like it is worth trying, you clearly have a lot more experience than me. I'll give it a go tomorrow. Do you think that 10 days would be long enough to try with so little sucess?

I know all the books say not to seem dissapointed when they fail etc but this afternoon she wee'd on sofa after I posted and told me "it was fun to wee on sofa". Should I let her see I am cross with her response?

Do you think it is OK though to put her in nappies for rest of day (because she refuses to sit) and then have her out of them again next day? Will this confuse her? (She is a very strongwilled child)

i would say if she wants to potty train no more nappies as she needs to realise she needs to sit on potty

you sound like you are doing all you can to encourage it could she be doing it on purpose for the attention as you mentioned you have baby also

i used to sing wee wee on the potty and do lots of dances and praises for just sittting on potty

every time just sat on cheered and said what a bg boy you are and he just became aware he has to sit on potty for wee

she is probbaly aware she has to do it but maybe doesnt want to be big girl as babies get more attention

maybe have the little chat of how good it will be for her to be big girl like mummy and show baby how big she is as baby couldnt do that and make it sound like she is better in that way of being able to

sorry not much help just trying to think what my friend did with her dc as she had ababy also and she just made it sound like he was better than baby as he could sit on potty and ababy has to wear nappies

it'll come together if really looks like she doesnt want to the put in nappies but i think no nappies and just stick it out

Hi jampickles

I think you should move back to London. She's probably just too cold to sit on the potty up there!