Uncomfortable in my own home since having a baby

[fatpengu1n]

Just wanted to see if anyone else has felt similar or could perhaps give me a reason why I feel this way.

I am a FTM of DD 9 weeks. For context, she is so lovely, chilled and a great sleeper. We have a nice routine, lovely local friends from NCT and my husband is so supportive and a great dad already. Unfortunately he works a lot and two nights a week he works away but when he's home, he's amazing. We don't live near either set of parents, however, we see them regularly and they're always more than happy (sometimes desperate even) to help out.

I know I am so lucky and should be so grateful and I really am, but since she was born, my house doesn't feel like home anymore - it's like I'm uncomfortable being there. It doesn't feel like the cosy, safe place it was and I don't know why. I really struggle to enjoy things now, for example TV shows I used to like, or favourite meals. When I'm out, I tend to delay coming home as much as possible, even when my DH is in.

I am also so anxious surrounding my DD's sleep - It's almost like im scared of her at night, and im terrified that she'll regress and never sleep properly again. For context, at the moment, she does 7pm-3am and then sleeps again until 7/7:30.

Sorry for the long post, and thank you for reading.

I'd say this could be a post natal anxiety/depression thing. Go get yourself checked, your baby will be picking up on your negativity and anxiousness

I remember feeling exactly as you describe when my DS was born.

I think it’s a combination of postnatal hormones and the overwhelming feeling of responsibility that comes with a new baby.

It’s really, really hard but it does pass.

However, if at any point it becomes unmanageable, please talk to your GP.

Congratulations on your baby

I had this! I was so on edge, so uncomfortable and my DH was totally normal. I'd get so anxious esp night times because of the sleep routine, even though my husband was there to support. For me everything had changed, I felt I could not even go make myself breakfast as baby would be up any second. Later I realised it was probably post natal anxiety. I am quite an anxious person in general, but mine went after a few weeks.

Just to add your LO sleeping 7pm to 3am is good! My 4 month only just does that now, so thats a positive! It'll hopefully get better from here onwards!

@AustraliaMom I honestly don't think there was anything specific I did or could have done. I think it does just take time and for your hormones to settle down. I also think it's really normal for you to look back on your old life pre baby and miss it. Our DD took a while to conceive and followed a loss. Whilst we were trying I wanted nothing but to have a baby in our life, I never thought I'd look back and miss my life before her. I think it's really mixed/conflicting emotions that you feel at the same time. I wouldn't change a thing but miss my old life too. Motherhood is strange 😂

I can relate to this, and as a pp said I think it’s the feeling of being “on duty” all the time. My DD is almost 6 months old now and I still do feel like this to an extent but not as extreme as it felt at the start. It was the feeling of not being able to sit down to watch a film or read a book as I felt the baby might cry and need me - but I’ve been trying to get into the habit of just doing these things anyway and often yes it’s interrupted but often it’s not! Your LO as she gets bigger will nap and sleep for longer stretches of time, she’ll be able to play on the floor and amuse herself for a little while, etc and also the clutter that comes with a newborn gets less. For ways to destress/find some time to yourself in the meantime, I found that reading books on my kindle meant that I could read while sitting in a dim room as she slept, or putting in a headphone and watching shows on my phone which meant I could be with her and keep an eye, but also not disturb her too much. This gave me back something for me if that makes sense. I’m also looking forward to being able to make our home cosier now that it’s autumn, I’ve never found the long summer evenings relaxing. I love lighting lamps in the evenings, eating cosier food etc. You will find your own ways to achieve this in your home too x