Is My Gran right?

[MumofMonstersx3]

So background, I've taught my children 10 & 3 (and will teach my 1 year old when he's talking more) what the "proper" words for their anatomy and my Gran (77) thinks I am bonkers and it's absolutely not necessary!
My DD (10) is very private anyway ie, showers alone (is furious if DS runs in), gets dressed in her room alone and hates getting changed for PE at school so removes herself and gets changed in school toilets. Knows not to keep any secrets about things. Can talk to me about anything.

Her Step Mum told me whilst she was working as a teacher she'd come across a 6 year old who told her her uncle "licked her cookie" luckily she realised what was happening but she thinks it's daft that parents don't teach them the right words. So since this I have made sure they know.

Do you agree with my Gran am I bonkers or am I right in teaching them the right words?

Obviously you know you're right.

Of course they should know the correct terms, there's absolutely no reason they shouldn't. You/they can use euphemisms too for casual family usage; the other extreme of kids only using the correct anatomical terms is a bit OTT.

I teach my son (5) the right names for his,he abbreviates them but I know what he is talking about & I teach him that his body is private,& he can tell me if he's uncomfortable or anything,he says to me now sometimes when he's in the bathroom & I'm checking on him(he has a habit of playing with the sink🤦🏻‍♀️) no mammy's allowed,I need privacy. I think it very important that kids know the right names etc especially from a safety aspect

I just say private parts

Mainly is the usual, winky, willy, privates, fairy etc but they both know the real terms and will refer to them as either/or

Elderly people often still have the ideas of their time but times have changed. You are right

@Fridaysgirl17 how are you teaching him if you don't mind me asking? My DS has a habit of parading around with no underwear on. We've kept saying he shouldn't be flashing it about but he doesn't seem to listen

My 12 year old comes into my room naked and laughs. (Only when her dad is out) she knows not to do it in front if anyone else. She knows it winds me up. I'm happy she's confident with her body but it's a bit mad as I can't imagine ever doing that.

My DD won't come in naked unless atm she's going through puberty and developing boobs, so she showed me (with out my DH there) and has often asked about "hairs" (which were none existent) but if I'm naked she'll cover her eyes. Im obviously not parading round starkers but she's uncomfortable with it which I don't understand as it's a woman's body which hers will soon come to look like.

In the same way you teach them anything else really. You enforce it.

Lots of people say you need the right language and your example is their proof, but tbh the body language, the expression and the fear would make it obvious the cookie is not a cookie.

We use winky and minnie here but they both know the proper word anyway.

@Soubriquet I do agree you'd tell from their fear but myself was abused as a child and I didn't tell anyone and nobody knew until I was 24 so I have that fear constantly about one of my children going through what I went through.

That 'licked my cookie' was actually in the Daily Mail and it was a child in America. The teachers didn't work out what she meant at first then eventually twigged on to what she meant.

And no, no nicknames here.

Three is still very young, I think my sons were probably still doing that at 3 but they grew out of it. I think it is nice that they feel happy in their bodies and not self conscious as long as they realise there is a time and place e.g. at home OK, at church on Sunday morning not OK.

He might be enjoying the reaction from you so maybe ignoring him would be better?

@PinkButtercups

It was a girl at her school here in the UK. Could of been a very similar story. She had to liaise with SS & Police herself. I think maybe because of that story they realised. I don't know how long ago it was but she's no longer a teacher mainly because of things happening like that. Took a toll on her.

But thank you everyone who's replied to my post! Appreciate the feedback.

This. My daughters know what's called what, but we have family words for stuff too. My granny insisted on my mum and aunt using "vulva" etc in casual usage and I have friends who do... I find it very weird. My mum having been bought up this way found it weird and went down the "knows the real names, can use something else if they want" avenue and I find that much less rigid and stifling for the child. And let's face it, when your acquaintance was told about this girls "cookie" she understood what she meant for her tone of voice and body language, didn't she?

I was thinking exactly this. Everyone seems to use this exact example and claims to have direct experience/involvement in the situation

I think you're right but your gran is from a time when things were very different.

I hope those deciding to use the biologically correct names will use vulva and not vagina. Vagina is used wrongly so much.