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Original poster

Husband not supportive

13 replies

shilan · 10/09/2022 23:38

My husband left me with my newborn after 5 days and went to work. Even though I told him I need help and wouldn't be able to survive by myself. We have no family in England and it was me alone. He keeps saying it is just a baby and it is not hard job.

I am lost and don't know what to do even though I feel heartbroken and ignored.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/09/2022 23:40

It is a hard job but you can survive.

When you say that he went back to work, is it a 9-5 type of job?

Original poster
shilan · 10/09/2022 23:41

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/09/2022 23:40

It is a hard job but you can survive.

When you say that he went back to work, is it a 9-5 type of job?

No. It is 14 hours out of home 12 hours work and 2 hours commute.

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 10/09/2022 23:41

Your both new to the country? Thats awful. I guess he needs to go earn... can you get on social media and seek out some local groups for this?

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TidyDancer · 10/09/2022 23:42

His comment was unkind.

Did he have to go back to work? Sometimes it's unavoidable.

Original poster
shilan · 10/09/2022 23:43

HeadacheEarthquake · 10/09/2022 23:41

Your both new to the country? Thats awful. I guess he needs to go earn... can you get on social media and seek out some local groups for this?

We don't need him to go and earn as we have enough saving. He can go and earn later on. At least when the baby is 3 or 4 weeks. However he doesn't listen and keeps saying it is not a big deal. It is a baby and you can manage.

OP posts:
Randomword6 · 10/09/2022 23:43

Ask your midwife if there is any support you can get, also maybe NCT groups. I'm sorry you feel so bad just now.

Original poster
shilan · 10/09/2022 23:43

TidyDancer · 10/09/2022 23:42

His comment was unkind.

Did he have to go back to work? Sometimes it's unavoidable.

No. He could his normal shifts but he decided to cover for others to earn more money.

OP posts:
Original poster
shilan · 10/09/2022 23:44

Randomword6 · 10/09/2022 23:43

Ask your midwife if there is any support you can get, also maybe NCT groups. I'm sorry you feel so bad just now.

What is an NCT group?

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 10/09/2022 23:51

shilan · 10/09/2022 23:43

We don't need him to go and earn as we have enough saving. He can go and earn later on. At least when the baby is 3 or 4 weeks. However he doesn't listen and keeps saying it is not a big deal. It is a baby and you can manage.

Show quote history

If its just a baby.. leave them with him

Dove88 · 11/09/2022 00:53

I’m really sorry you’ve got no support. You’re still very much in the think of it, it must be really hard. Have you contact with a health visitor? If so give them a call and tell them you are struggling. In my experience they are so lovely and will offer guidance. It’s really hard at this stage so don’t feel bad that you’re not finding it as easy as your husband thinks you should be. I would be very angry if my husband had chosen to work instead of supporting me and bonding with baby. Sending love 💐

darldream · 11/09/2022 01:19

Dove88 · 11/09/2022 00:53

I’m really sorry you’ve got no support. You’re still very much in the think of it, it must be really hard. Have you contact with a health visitor? If so give them a call and tell them you are struggling. In my experience they are so lovely and will offer guidance. It’s really hard at this stage so don’t feel bad that you’re not finding it as easy as your husband thinks you should be. I would be very angry if my husband had chosen to work instead of supporting me and bonding with baby. Sending love 💐

Thank you for your response.

I am going to tell the health visitor otherwise I will end up having a mental breakdown.

ApronLady89 · 11/09/2022 07:13

shilan · 10/09/2022 23:44

What is an NCT group?

Show quote history

NCT run antenatal courses but they also organise mum and baby groups/ meet ups. I think they do some postnatal classes too.

www.nct.org.uk/local-activities-meet-ups/parent-and-baby-groups

Randomword6 · 11/09/2022 15:58

Thanks apron lady. Midwives or local surgeries could offer support, both practical and emotional.

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