Will my toddler forget me :-(

[Dorset555]

Hi guys I'm in hospital for the next couple of months and my fam are trying to bring my 18month old toddler in as much as possible but it's really only 1 max 2 times a week as he's in nursery and they need to make thr most of that. So worried he will forget me. He came to visit yesterday after a week and he seemed so confused and not the excited reaction I was hoping for. I know hospitals are weird places and he was prob overwhelmed but I'm so worried that by 6 weeks in the bond we have will have changed. Can't bear it any advice?

This must be really hard for you. It’s also a confusing time for toddler too so don’t be disheartened if he isn’t automatically excited each time he sees you, hospitals are strange places and he will be wondering why you are there. But in the gentlest way possible, please don’t be silly, of course he won’t forget you. He wouldn’t forget you if he didn’t see you for that whole time, let alone if he is still actually seeing you a couple of times each week! Surely there are other people that he sees less frequently than that like friends or extended family who he still remembers?
sending you hugs it must be so challenging but your little one will definitely still remember you.

Are you able to FaceTime or video call more often as well just to help?

That sounds really difficult. But he won't forget you, you're his mummy.

Maybe draw him some pictures and post them to him. Ask your family to get some stamped envelopes. The ward can put them in their post tray.

I was an army wife, and my two were little then. They didn't forget their daddy.

We had a toddler photo book for each of the children. Something like this

www.amazon.co.uk/Lilliputiens-Pablo-Baby-Photo-Album/dp/B08BJ3JNKL/ref=mp_s_a_1_9?crid=COFXMZUCFH0&keywords=photo+album+baby+toy&qid=1662801615&sprefix=photo+albumbaby+toy%2Caps%2C87&sr=8-9

Look after yourself, and I wish you a speedy recovery.

Thank you all so much it's such a tricky time I've got way too much time on my hands to think it seems much easier on the weekdays when he's at nursery but the weekends are really tough. I just want to get back.to normal and the mum guilt is just escalating. Thanks for your kind words it's helped for sure.

My dd was 15 months when I was in hospital for 5/6 weeks , it is difficult your baby is confused by what's going on but he won't "forget" you at all just be smiley and happy when he visits, I hope you are OK as you can be.

That sounds really tough but of course your baby won't forget you! For what it's worth, my DD(3) has only met her grandparents a handful of times as we live overseas, but they have a lovely relationship based on video calls 2-3 times per week ever since she was a baby. Use the in-person visits for lots and lots of cuddles and maintain that connection through singing and chatting on video chat the other days. Wishing you all the best x

Aww you poor thing, I'm sure he won't forget you, toddlers have little concept of time at that age, as long as he's being looked after he'll be fine, I think it'll be harder for you to be honest. I was in hospital for 5w 2d earlier this year, I have five kids and being away from them was hard, they were ok, they were only able to visit three times and they were very pleased to have me back home when I got better.

He definitely won’t forget! My husband had done two six month deployments by that age and my daughter is still very much a daddy’s girl. I talked about him regularly and we FaceTimed every night we could before bed.

Thanks so much need to get into the facetiming more neither of us are very good at it and it's a bit awkward in the ward - but I think I'll try and go into the corridor to do it - no privacy in this place! Thanks so much all :-)

You could read some stories and film yourself. Get your family to bring/amazon a story book to the ward. And then read the story.

Give the book to go home, sent the videos and he can look at the book and listen to you read xx

Great idea thank you :-)

I have had several extended stays I. Hospital and not been able to have the kids visit as much. I think it is much harder for me than them. The first time was an emergency admission and until that point my dd had been with me pretty much every moment of her 6 months and was exclusive breastfed. She had to be transitioned to a bottle and suddenly mummy wasn't there. That was the worst. But even just hearing my voice on the phone helped to calm her.
Since then we have used FaceTime and just spoken on the phone.
It is absolutely horrendous sitting in hospital, thinking about your children and not being able to be there. However, my girls are extremely resilient and know that I love them. We try to keep their routines as much as possible just with other people filling in for me.
I'm like mission control giving all the helpers orders. My husband says I am a control freak but it is really just my way of coping and feeling like I'm doing something. Even if that something is annoying him!
I hope you feel better soon. X

@ItisallPooh haha that's exactly how I feel I say I'm like the colonel and my partner is the Canon fodder on the front line! It's so hard but just trying to think of the bigger picture and how it will all hopefully be worth it in the end. I feel way more in control in the week when he's at nursery as I can follow on the app and that's his normal life. Weekends I just feel totally useless. Hopefully only a few more weeks to go. Really appreciate all of the support - thank you

How are you doing @Dorset555?