Toddler hitting

[greengreentrees]

DS (2) is struggling with transitions, for example leaving somewhere where he is having fun or stopping doing an activity to have his nappy changed. We always give multiple advance warnings and try to make it fun. When he refusing to leave and isn't listening, we will say 'it seems like you are struggling to stop doing X, I am going to help you' and then pick him up. He's started hitting us when we pick him up. I ended up carrying him over my shoulder the other day so that he couldn't hit me in the face while walking down the street. He then got upset and asked to be carried properly and stopped hitting when I did, but I absolutely don't want to be doing things like this. We state that he shouldn't hit because hitting hurts and will hold his hands to stop it if we can. Does anyone have any advice on what we can do to manage this better?

If closer to 2 than 3 I would say “no nice hands” and if continues remove from the situation as you did. Try to distract him. Once closer to 3 with good verbal skills I started the naughty step.

Mine is going through this phase. I use the alarm on my phone to help with transitions - DC likes to switch it off which gives a nice move into the next thing we are doing. In terms of hitting I say please don't hit, it isn't nice to hit and it hurts. Then repeat and repeat! I remove myself or them if necessary. I also say I'm leaving now or I'm putting you on the floor because you're hitting. When you stop hitting, and say sorry we can be friends and carry on playing. It's tough though!

I think you are managing fine! Another way you can carry to prevent being hit is their back to your tummy, arms behind their knees where there legs are bent and then hold onto their wrists. This also stops them kicking too. I do this with my mahoosive 4 year old if he's trying to hit and needs moving somewhere else (sen). With my 2 year old I tell her to use soft hands.

If they are closer to 3 you can say "I will not allow you to hit me" in a stern voice.

BTW I think the struggling sentence is better geared towards 4 year olds. At that age I would say we are leaving, would you like to walk or be carried? If they say nothing I want to stay etc you can say if you do not choose I will choose carrying for you because we need to leave now.

Thank you for the responses. There's some really helpful suggestions that we will try. The timer is a great idea for the things that happen at home all the time, i.e. nappy changes. I think he'll enjoy turning the timer off and it will distract from what he is doing.

I'll try the reverse carrying too if needed again in the future.

He's approximately 2.5 by the way. He is and has always been very advanced with speaking. In some ways I think this can be problematic at times because we can fall into the trap of viewing him as slightly older than he is because he communicates so effectively, but he's still emotionally a two year old. I think we'll just try to keep communication around these things very simple moving forward.

I could have written this exact post, sometimes I feel like his anger has taken over and he's lost control. I'm reading with interest.
I think the answer is more in us modelling and teaching emotional regulation, rather than punishment, but I'm still following with interest.

Very much agree with the suggestion about a timer on the phone. This has worked well for us so far (we do 3 minutes).