Party etiquette

[SocialEtiquette]

A mum friend I met through baby playgroup has kindly invited me/us to her baby's birthday party.

Would you assume the invitation to be just for me and baby, or the family (DH and another DD)?

Im happy either way, just have a tendency to overthink social situations, so would love some advice.

I once brought newborn DD2 with me to a party DD1 was invited to without checking with the host first and was horrified for weeks after that they must have thought I was so rude, so this is the anxious mind we are dealing with here :D

Easiest way to resolve this anxiety is to simply ask.

oh, hi friend. I just wanted to check rather than cause any upset - is the party invite a family one or individual. Happy either way. 😁

Yes, I meant to say I was happy to ask but thought I'd check if there was an obvious answer I am missing first.

E.g. if the majority think it's likely to be for just baby and I, then I don't want to ask and put her in a position where she feels she has to say yes to DH and DD1 coming too (If that makes sense or perhaps I'm overthinking again eheh.)

The invite is for your baby, so obviously includes a parent. If it is at a play centre during normal usage ie not private hire you can take your older one but otherwise I wouldn’t.
if this causes a massive childcare problem it is ok to text along the lines of “sorry I won’t be able to make it as I have my older dd with me that day” and hope she replies to say you can bring her.
The trouble with tiny babies is they are not going to enjoy being around older children, especially if they are a first born.

Invite is for baby +1. Bringing older siblings to a tiny’s party is a no-no unless said tiny has older sibs themselves. If in doubt just ask the party mum.

Where is the party held? You can ask if you can bring sibling but I wouldn't do both parents.

I can't imagine anyone ever caring that you brought a newborn. I have two kid and always assumed it was fine to bring my youngest until he was a toddler (although I'd often just tell people to bring siblings if they want if a church hall type party)

Usual would be invited child+1 parent, probably safest option if you prefer not to ask!

Thank you that is helpful to look at it as the invite being for my baby, definitely wouldn't make sense for the baby to come with a +3!

It is in a church hall type of place. The birthday baby doesn't have older siblings.

I've never heard of a whole family invite to a party. I would assume it's for your baby and a parent, obviously.

You bringing a newborn was different. Of course your baby goes everywhere with you and wouldn't have needed feeding/a seat at the table/a party bag/entertainment.

I would assume just baby. I would either go just me or with dh (if both free) but if dp doesn't know this friend would make sense to go just u and baby. Btw if u turned up to my party with brand new baby I would be thrilled!!

Definitely don't bring your older child unless specifically invited.

Thank you, it seems we have a consensus! I'm glad I asked, MN always has the answer!

Baby +1. The whole family turning up would be strange.

Yup, you and the baby.

Baby plus one adult.

It's for you and the baby.
One of the most common thread topics on MN is "how do I word this invitation so that I don't end up with a house full of siblings/paying for a load of siblings".

Is it a first birthday? And in a church hall? I'd say it would be pretty safe to take your partner too.