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Parenting

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Original poster

Please tell me this is a phase...

8 replies

Cluelessfirstimer · 08/09/2022 18:30

I have a nearly 13 week old boy. This last week has been utter utter hell. He won't sleep, some days eats loads others hardly anything and is either really really happy or so unsettled and won't stop crying. I'm lost. It's like he's forgotten how to sleep and the some days eating loads and others hardly anything is stressing me out so much. He is FF.

I've had 4 hours sleep in 2 days. When he sleeps during the day I do try and sleep but mostly that's when I can eat and shower. He only sleeps for about 30 minutes at a time and it's killing me

I'm reluctant to speak to the GP because they always make me feel stupid and say its usual baby stuff

I'm so tired and literally in tears right now. He woke up from a nap so angry , had a tiny bit of milk, screamed and is now on his play mat and seems happy.

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RedRobyn2021 · 08/09/2022 20:15

This would personally worry me. I don't think you would be overreacting to want him checked by the a GP. Any decent doctor would want to be cautious with such a young baby.

Waking frequently is normal, but that does seem excessive and not eating is a red flag.

So sorry you're having a hard time.

CycleGirl20 · 09/09/2022 08:48

Is this the 4 month sleep "regression" where their sleep patterns become more adult like and it can cause them to wake up more in the night for a short time until they settle into it? Mine is 6 weeks old, so we have this to come 🙈

SunshineClouds1 · 09/09/2022 08:57

It's the not eating much some days that worries me tbh.

You GP and HV would be more than pleased to see you, they'd rather see a little baby to make sure everything is ok than not.

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Original poster

Cluelessfirstimer · 09/09/2022 09:29

Qw wwnt to the GP this morning and he has gained a lot of weight so they aren't worried and to just keep offering bottles as I have been... didn't give me any advice on the other stuff and just said see how he is in a week...

OP posts:

pitchforksandflamethrowers · 10/09/2022 06:41

It doesn't help (with lack of sleep) but download the wonder weeks. The 4month, 1 year and 18month sleep regression are a absolute ball ache. The app helps explain why babies not sleeping, eating right ect - it will end !! My Dd was a Velcro baby so I really do get it !

I don't know if this helps but I have just had my second and genuinely had the fear, but my second is a dream so not all babies are the same.

Practical tips.

baby wear (some babies will only settle on you) this at least will allow you your hands back.
sleep in shifts (you do one half of night, DP does other) block sleep is important even if it's only 5hrs
eat well and don't spend the day cleaning when baby naps, if you can sleep when baby naps do but don't beat yourself up if you can't (try not to murder anyone who says oh it's fine nap when baby naps)
might be colic (try infacol or gripe water) gas is painful for baby
if you suspect colic or constipation most formula as a a comfort version (both mine have needed this and my good different babies after a week or so after the switch over)
make sure babies eating enough in the day so they have less need to wake in night.
is baby warm enough ? Sounds dumb as hell but actually babies get really cold at night and it causes them to wake. Obviously don't turn them into a oven as risk of Sid's.
baby dots on YouTube (I call this baby crack) when baby is screaming and inconsolable. Something about the patterns is calming for them.

Good luck !!!! You can do this !!!

Tallulahss · 10/09/2022 07:31

As pp poster suggested I would recommend the wonder weeks app.
It explains alot and gives you reassurance that it's all normal stuff.
I remember at a similar age my dd waking continuously I was so stressed and thought it was going to be like that permanent. I never realised there was so many phases but remember they all pass and this will too.

pitchforksandflamethrowers · 10/09/2022 07:41

@Tallulahss I'm glad I wasn't the only one think wft. But then again I remember googling 4month sleep regression and people on mumsnet saying it would end and I really didn't believe them. Thankfully it did end and Dd is a Brillant sleeper but that first year 😵‍💫😵‍💫 man alive

Mammamia23 · 10/09/2022 09:20

Hi @Cluelessfirstimer congratulations on your little ones arrival. It’s an overwhelming time, and you’re doing brilliantly.

if I could approach this slightly differently please:

Following the wonder weeks is dangerous. The doctor who published them has actually been struck off because of it. Essentially, if you think something is wrong with your baby/notice a change in behaviour and see that it coincides with a leap (as per the wonder weeks) you might just put it down to that, when actually something else could be wrong. Mothers instinct is a real thing, and GPs and HVs are much more alive to this these days .If a book says your baby cries more than usual at 13 weeks, don’t just think it’s fine - if you think something is wrong go and get it checked out.

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