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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you decide to have another?

17 replies

december2020 · 07/09/2022 23:14

Currently unexpectedly in the TWW - very unlikely due to my irregular cycles and suspected PCOS but DC1 was conceived naturally after trying for over a year.

Thing is, while very unlikely, it's made me realise I actually would really love to try for another DC. DH is on the fence as DC1 is a total energy bomb. But he hasn't made his mind up so hasn't ruled it out either and wants to keep the baby stuff just in case we need it again.

I don't think I can wait more than a year to start trying (age and unpredictable irregular cycles being the main factors), so I think me and DH will need to decide on a cut off point where we decide what to do.

So what made you realise and decide you wanted another? Or where you happy to keep to one?

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Mumofboys16 · 08/09/2022 06:18

I was totally happy with 1 but he got to 3 and we went into lock down and we felt he really needed a little buddy. It took us a while to conceive so there is a 4.5 year age gap. I really wish I'd done it sooner. My two have a lovely bond but I wish they were that bit closer in age.

The energy doesn't stop so if your husband thinks wait for things to settle.. we did that and were at the point of needing no pushchair, nappy bags, we were free..! Now we're not and we're tied to nap times and a house of baby stuff again!

barneymcgroo · 08/09/2022 06:59

They get really cute around 18 months. So around about then...!

In reality, would have tried slightly sooner, but my periods didn't come back til then.

Willbe2under2 · 08/09/2022 07:12

DH wanted to start trying after 6 months because it took almost a year to conceive DD but we held off because I thought it was way too early. Brought some folic acid a couple of weeks before she turned 1 so I was prepared for when we did start ttc. Mentioned this to DH while DD was napping. 3 weeks later I'm staring at a positive test...

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MolliciousIntent · 08/09/2022 10:06

Decided to have 2 about 20 years before DD1 was born! Always knew I wanted 2, always knew what age gap I wanted, and nothing really changed after the birth of DD1.

Ragwort · 08/09/2022 10:09

Totally happy with one, he's 21 now and I have never regretted my decision .

Original poster

december2020 · 08/09/2022 10:09

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so far!

The more I think about it, it's likely 2 years till DC2 would arrive (9 months cooking + over a year of trying if dc1 is anything to go by) so I'm thinking of broaching the topic with DH today to see if he'd be on board with trying for no2.

It means DC1 would just be shy of turning 4 which feels like a good age gap as any (of course I know I don't get to choose which cycle I'd conceive if any).

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carlandellie · 08/09/2022 10:20

It took me almost 3 years to come round to the idea of trying for a second, DD's birth was very traumatic and it put me off for a long time. I was quite happy with one but would love DD to have the chance of having a sibling relationship like I got to experience.
We decided to start trying in June this year and just thought we'd see what happened, DD took almost a year to conceive so I wasn't getting my hopes up that it would happen anytime soon. A month later there I was looking at a positive test, it's only really now starting to sink in because it happened so so fast. It may happen faster than you think!

Margo34 · 08/09/2022 11:24

10m PP we started talking about TTC, actively started about the 1y PP mark and conceived fairly quickly but suffered multiple MC. Currently a little over 8w with my third pregnancy of 2022 🤞

Original poster

december2020 · 08/09/2022 11:46

Congrats @carlandellie and you're so right, it could happen much sooner than expected! How are you feeling about it all, especially with it feeling so sudden?

Ah congrats @Margo34 ! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Let's see what DH says about it today and if we'll actively start trying for DC2. I think it'll take a while for him to get comfortable with the idea.

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carlandellie · 08/09/2022 11:56

december2020 · 08/09/2022 11:46

Congrats @carlandellie and you're so right, it could happen much sooner than expected! How are you feeling about it all, especially with it feeling so sudden?

Ah congrats @Margo34 ! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Let's see what DH says about it today and if we'll actively start trying for DC2. I think it'll take a while for him to get comfortable with the idea.

Thankyou, I'm feeling a lot better now it's settling in that's it's happening. I'll be honest I really struggled with the fact I didn't feel that overjoyed feeling that I had when I found out about my first and I still don't but I think that it's just because I was so unexpected and I've been very Ill this time round with sickness and nausea which I didn't have first time. I'm 10 weeks now and it's starting to settle down a bit so hopefully I'll start feeling a bit more connected with it all.
I hope things go well for you whatever you decide!

Original poster

december2020 · 08/09/2022 20:23

@carlandellie I can totally understand that. Not only have you been feeling ill, it's the suddenness of it all. Especially if you thought you'd have to try for a while. I hope the sickness passes quickly now and you get to enjoy being pregnant.
I spoke to DH today and he's slowly coming round to actively start trying, which is exciting. Maybe he'll be ready for the next cycle - let's see how it goes!

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Wouldloveanother · 08/09/2022 20:26

I just couldn’t imagine never having a baby again. But it took me a while to be ready to try again as I had a tough time after DD was born. Luckily conceived within a couple of months, now 9+3 and all being well baby will be born when DD is 3y8m.

Original poster

december2020 · 13/09/2022 21:48

@Wouldloveanother congrats!! How are you feeling now?

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Original poster

december2020 · 13/09/2022 21:50

DH and I have been chatting and at the moment if finances make sense, we'll start trying on the next cycle.
A little scary but also exciting!

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PinkButtercups · 13/09/2022 23:07

I want DS to have siblings like myself and his dad do.
Fell pregnant with DS straight away and started trying again when DS was 2.5. Fell pregnant after 2 cycles (3rd cycle having a positive pregnancy test) but convinced myself it would take longer than what it did with DS for whatever reason. Now expecting twins in December and DS is 3 🥰🥰.

Somuchgoo · 13/09/2022 23:21

I decided I wanted a second within about an hour of my first being born 😂

The consultant (I had a section) came round to see me later that day, and joked that she'd see me in a couple of years, and I just smiled.

I reached to try for a second at 3 months, my husband persuaded me to wait, and we started trying at about a year. 23 month gap. Consultant was right.

purplemama1990 · 14/09/2022 16:00

I started thinking about having my second when DC1 was turning 3, I felt he was getting more manageable and I started feeling super broody. A few months later and I'm now expecting baby number 2! When baby arrives, DC1 will be almost 4. I wish the gap between them was a little smaller, but at the same time I think it will work out that DC1 will be starting school when the baby will be starting in full time childcare (I work full time and childcare costs for 2 is ridiculous!), I won't need to buy a double buggy, DC1 is getting to the point where he is easier to take care of... I don't think there's ever a right time to have a second baby, just whenever you feel ready for it yourself!

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