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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Made a big mistake

35 replies

Hanstarlucky · 07/09/2022 21:15

Please no hate as I already know I’ve botched this up. Since my daughter was born she has slept next to me….then it migrated to sleeping in my bed and now she’s 6 🫣. It’s my own fault I know and I’ve mucked up dramatically

is it too late to do anything?

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Original poster

Hanstarlucky · 07/09/2022 22:22

Ratbagcatbag · 07/09/2022 22:08

Honestly. You haven't messed up.

As a previous poster said, kids are adaptable. My DD aged 9 shares her time between me and her dad. At his she never gets in at his unless she's ill, and even then dad gets thrown out and she stays with her stepmum.

at mine, meh, I wake up nearly every morning with her in bed next to me. At weekends we start in my bed. In winter we take up hot chocolate and snuggle in bed and chat.

she will stop when she's ready.

if you don't mind it, don't feel you have to stop it because mum guilt/society makes you think you should. Enjoy it and it will sort out later on.

The same when she stays at her dads, he’s been very strict about it!. He’s got a much more hard approach. She’s also just lost a grandparent and sometimes she will chat to me in bed on an evening about it

OP posts:

ElegantlyTouched · 07/09/2022 22:22

Ratbagcatbag · 07/09/2022 22:08

Honestly. You haven't messed up.

at mine, meh, I wake up nearly every morning with her in bed next to me. At weekends we start in my bed. In winter we take up hot chocolate and snuggle in bed and chat.

she will stop when she's ready.

if you don't mind it, don't feel you have to stop it because mum guilt/society makes you think you should. Enjoy it and it will sort out later on.

I think it's lovely that all four of you are happy with her sleeping with her SM! For some reason the thought has made me smile.

allboysherebutme · 07/09/2022 22:46

My son was 8 before he slept all night in his own bed,
But I did put his in his own bed as he got older and read him a story and leave the light on. He would come down to my room before morning. But it eventually stopped. X

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Twillow · 07/09/2022 22:50

It's much more common than you think! And only a problem if either one of you wants it to change.

takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 07/09/2022 23:28

Another one to say you have not done anything wrong!!
Lots of people have strong opinions- it's not their business. As PP have said, stop if it's what you want by using incentives / sticker charts etc but not if you feel pressured by society or others to do so.

If it brings you both a good nights sleep and comfort and security ( and you aren't having to sacrifice anything important to you, ie time alone, good sleep etc ) then you do you x

pimlicoanna · 07/09/2022 23:38

But it's a totally normal thing to do. Is it actually a problem?

Maray1967 · 07/09/2022 23:44

DS(2) kept wandering into our room up until about 7 but not much after that. It just stopped. If it’s bothering you because it’s disturbing your sleep try the sticker/reward approach but it didn’t really work for us.

Lovinglifeand · 07/09/2022 23:45

Your lucky daughter sharing your bed all this time. She must feel so close to you, how wonderful. I would make her bedroom as appealing as possible (night lights, soft colours, canopy over bed if she likes that sort of thing) and let her choose when she wants to sleep in there. She will eventually want her own space and also want her friends over for sleep overs so it will naturally happen... but until then just enjoy having her snuggled up with you.

FusionChefGeoff · 07/09/2022 23:58

We use sticker charts with 'stages' rewards for big behaviour / routine changes.

So a sticker for every day
A magazine with plastic crap for a week
A new backpack / toy for 3 weeks

Echoing pp saying nothing wrong at all. My lanky 10 year old was in with us for most of last night after a nightmare. It was lovely

jennyofthenorth · 08/09/2022 00:34

Eventually she will transition on her own when shes older and the other kids tell her they dont sleep in bed with a parent, enjoy it while you can! also if YOU chose to get her out of your bed, try what my mom did when I went through a extreme fear of life period. She allowed me to sleep in her room whenever I wanted BUT I had to sleep on My bed (a twin mattress on the floor next to her bed so I was close but not in her bed). worked great! In fact, any time I would get upset, scared, bad dream I would go use my little bed (and when I wasnt, the cats had a super cool big bed lol)

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