How much of an effort do you make with other school parents?

[3boysandadog23]

My son has just started year 1 and though I find some parents generally quite friendly there are quite a few in his class who make very little effort to say hello on the school run.

I’m generally friendly to anyone and everyone and like to make an effort particularly on the school run for my son’s sake.

Do you make much of an effort to talk to people? Trying to work out if I’m just way to sensitive as to whether people are friendly or not and need to get a life, or if people are actually quite unfriendly.

Do you think it’s detrimental to children (as in the friends they make and the parties they get invited to) if you make little or no effort with others? I worry a lot about my child’s friendships and being happy at school for some reason. I’m aware that I am probably thinking way to much into this!

I see many mums getting way to over invested in ‘making friends at the school gate’. I always feel a bit sorry for them because to me it comes across like they presumably don’t have much of a social life outside their children’s lives.

Some parents can’t do the run at all, I wouldn’t worry.

Do you think it’s detrimental to children (as in the friends they make and the parties they get invited to) if you make little or no effort with others?

Not in my experience. We were invited to more parties than I care to go too! A lot of the parents I hadn’t spoken to before.
I work in a school and I know some parents are good friends but you’d never guess which by looking at the children and who they choose to play with. I know a few children who apparently spend a fair amount of time together outside of school because their parents meet up but they show no interest at all in each other when they’re at school.
It might make a difference when they’re 4 or 5 or 6 in terms of play dates but it soon fizzles out after that. Parties tend to also be a free for all, you don’t need to be good friends with parents to be invited to a one off party. And it makes zero difference in who their ‘best friend’ is the classroom from any age.

I am friendly but outside the cliques that seemed to form very very quickly. I only do pick up once a week but I tend to stand on my own and smile. At drop off I have to run off to work. I think I missed the clique forming as in reception my daughter used to go to a childminder so I only did a couple of pick ups a week. And then we had covid and they were somehow all meeting for walks etc (village) and I realised I’d missed the moment. We haven’t really managed to fit in in the village as a result but DD has plenty of freeness, we have lots of play dates and share lifts etc anyway.

Friends! Though she is also quite free

I'll chat to the people I know and nod and smile at others.

My daughter is now in year 4 and it makes no difference to friendships. I don't know the parents of half of her friends.

No real effort after 6 years. And the most annoying mums for me are the ones that act indignant if you don't turn up to their coffee mornings or worse don't reply about a meet up in a pubic park. How that affects anyone I'll never know.

Yes, I've always made an effort and have made loads of good friends. I probably initially did it for the kids' sake but we had moved to a new area so it was in my interest to form a new social group and its worked out well. I don't recognise any of the bitchiness that other people have found. We do weekly coffee, book groups and have even been on holiday abroad together with the group.

I tried in reception year but it was made clear I wasn't 'one of them'. I'm not from the area so the life long locals don't acknowledge me, the stay home yummy mummy/MLM bot huns are to be avoided at all costs and the career ones don't think I have a real job because I work from home so am unworthy of their time 🤷‍♀️

Honestly though, I don't care. I have friends of my own and dc has friends in school. It's not hurting dc, they go to parties when their friends have them. I see so many dramas between the parents im happy to not be part of it and watch it unfold from the sidelines