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Original poster

Sleep problems with newborn please help

16 replies

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 16:39

I have an 11 week old baby boy and I’m really struggling with getting him to nap. I am his main care giver as his dad works. During the day we were in the routine of feed play sleep and he would nap on me but things have changed whereby he cries if I try to place him on me for what should be nap time. He won’t sleep in his own Next to me cot and when he was in the early days he’d often wake up because he wanted to be close to someone.

Now at night time he sleeps in our bed which is fine - not really ideal as I don’t get a good sleep and neither does my husband but it’s what he wants at the moment. During the day I’ve tried placing him in our bed and cuddling him which sometimes works and sometimes does not.

For example it can take me over an hour to get him to settle and then to sleep. He will push his dummy out of his mouth and want me to put it back in continuously and we do this until he eventually tries and then sleeps - it drives me insane. As I type this I’ve been trying for an hour and a half. and I’m demented. I feel like crying because I am tired and sleep deprived and just want him to sleep so I can get a break too.

I really don’t know what to do anymore and it’s getting me really down. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

Nat888 · 07/09/2022 17:02

I'm exactly the same with my 12 week old. Think it's a growth spurt or sleep regression
They tend to start hitting around now it seems. I get you - I am beyond tired

One thing that sometimes works for me is to act like im not trying to get him to sleep. I walk around the house holding him in one arm and do boring chores - like wash his bottles, take washing off the airer - anything I can do with one hand.

Sometimes doesn't work but it's the only thing I've found that might get me some peace and settle him

Original poster

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 17:12

I’m sorry you’re going through this too! I thought I was the only one as stupid as that seems. That does make sense as sometimes I can rock him in my arms and he eventually gets bored and goes to sleep but it’s not every time. I honestly dread each day as I think to myself how am I going to get him to nap?! It’s so stressful. One minute you think you’ve got something that works and they are like NOPE!

OP posts:

Nat888 · 07/09/2022 17:17

You are definitely not alone. I'm so tired and dread nap time because I know it's going to be such a horrible battle. I wake up the same .. I just try to remember most things with babies are a phase and it will get easier and back to how it was. It's so hard bringing up a baby.

As you say one day something works and the next its like ok thats out the window now what can i try next.

I know exactly how you feel ❤

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Original poster

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 17:25

Replied above! Xx

OP posts:

Original poster

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 17:26

Thank you, I’m sorry you’re in this position too but I feel a little better knowing I’m not alone. Fingers crossed we get through this soon and they start to sleep a little better. It is definitely the hardest thing ever. No one tells you that it’s going to be like this ♥️

OP posts:

MolliciousIntent · 07/09/2022 19:00

Sling? Pram? Car?

Hugasauras · 07/09/2022 19:33

Strap him in the sling and walk briskly around! DD2 is not a 'put down to nap' kind of baby, but she will conk out in sling after about 2 minutes.

Hugasauras · 07/09/2022 19:38

And I wouldn't stress about trying to put him down for naps. At this age there's still not much of a routine so I'd stick him in sling or pram or whatever he's happy chilling in and just carry on with whatever you need to do. I have an 11wo and a 3yo and there's no way I could spend an hour trying to get baby to nap with my other child around, just isn't feasible, so naps just have to come while we are doing other stuff!

Purplestarballoon · 07/09/2022 19:38

When my 5mo DS refuses to nap sometimes going in to a different room with him or even just putting him down and playing for 10 more mins can help. It’s like if I’m trying too hard in the same spot on the sofa to get him to sleep he fights it but then if we do something else he forgets we were trying to get him to sleep and then gets tired and wants to nap.
Walking in the pram really helps too
good luck x

barneymcgroo · 07/09/2022 19:45

Pram - mine suddenly refused to go to sleep in the carry cot bit, but the seat lay flat so I could put him in that. Whereas previously he'd actively wake up if in the carry cot, even if I put him in there asleep, he'd actually conk out in his pram seat. Felt miraculous at the time.

Also sling.

newtolineofduty · 07/09/2022 20:01

Have you checked out the wonder weeks stuff? There's a developmental 'leap' at week 12 (amongst many others!) which majorly affects sleep! There's an app and a book which id really recommend. It helps make sense of everything which is reassuring. We're in it currently and it sucks! Don't worry-it'll pass xxx

SamanthaVimes · 07/09/2022 21:37

Have you tried going outside with him? Mine will get so cross sometimes but something about going outside sort of resets him.
If he’s having a bad day I’ll take him out in the garden for a bit and it can help him drift off. For some reason outside in the sling is different to inside in the sling for him!

Original poster

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 21:45

Thank you everyone! He hates the sling. I’ve tried taking him out and he does sleep in the car seat if I attach it to the wheels but often wakes up when we get home, he’s a very alert baby and takes it all in! I think that’s part of the problem too, he has a serious case of FOMO. My husband swaddles him then puts him on his side and spoons him for a while with his dummy in and stays with him until he falls asleep. I tried that tonight. He managed to get one hand out of his swaddle but it was so he could hold my hand - bless. I think this is going to be tough! He is sleeping just now - fingers crossed this keeps up.

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MGee123 · 07/09/2022 21:47

Just to say - I would ditch feed/play/sleep if you're still trying to do it. Hungry babies won't sleep and at that age they get hungry pretty rapidly. If he won't settle fairly easily I would feed him again.

Nat888 · 07/09/2022 21:59

DB1991 · 07/09/2022 21:45

My partner says the same about my little boy - he has a serious case of FOMO! Hates the sling and the buggy doesn't work for sleep anymore because he just wants to look around at everything. The car does - but only after about 30 minutes when he has had a chance to look at everything and as soon as the car stops he is bolt upright awake.
We took him to the pub for Sunday lunch - as usual he had to sit out of the buggy so he could look around - there was a maternity nurse there who came over to say hello and she said "he is very alert for 3 months!"

That's why my only success is taking him around the house with me so he can look around at different things and eventually he gets bored and nods off

Alert babies are amazing - but damn they want to see and know everything that's going on at all times!

Nat888 · 07/09/2022 22:03

One thing I found which may or may not be the same for your little one but he has always been ahead of the wake windows. Since he was born he would always be happy to be awake a little longer than the wake windows for his age.I followed them to the T at first Trying after 30 minutes 1 hour etc to get him to sleep with 0 luck. I try to keep an eye on time but mostly follow his lead when he has had enough

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