Will it always be so hectic?

[haveyourcakeandeatit]

FTM to a DD who is 16 months old and a SAHM which I love and am not complaining about. But life has never felt so busy, chaotic and at times just so rushed. DD is all over the place with walking, exploring, pulling out drawers/cabinets, even yanking the poor cats tails to death. I suppose it doesn't help that we moved house 4 weeks ago and that was an overwhelming upheaval. But boy, I remember thinking the newborn stage was rough, give me back my baby that just lay staring up at the ceiling.

These days I hardly get to drink a hot cup of coffee or style my hair
Anyone else feel the same?

When they get to school it's way more hectic, sorry.

Yeah but at least they're out the house a good portion of the day!

In what way?

How is it more hectic than an energetic toddler that you can’t reason with or explain anything to? Or that can’t necessarily mentally and physically exhaust themselves with various activities?

Can you explain in your experience then?

Because they've to be up by a certain time that they usually don't want to be (unless it's the weekend!), they can be a pain to organise and get out the door and it's just on repeat all week. Then they have after school activities, homework, playdate requests constantly, snack requests constantly, uniform and lunches prep to keep on top of. I have a toddler dd currently and 2 school age kids, she's a doddle to look after compared to them. And they still nap when they're little! Yes they go to school, but I have work, life and house stuff to get done during those hours between school runs.

OP mine is a bit younger but is like this. He goes to nursery some of the week which helps him as he has no off button (although his sleep is generally pretty good if he’s sufficiently worn out)

on the days I’m with him we go to soft play so he can lob himself about safely, or we go swimming, or go to local stay and play so he can wreck the joint in a designated space. Being at home with him is full on, especially since he can bow escape his play pen 😵‍💫

And my 4 and 7 year olds are never tired out no matter what we do with them. Toddler DD lasts 2-4 hours of even the most basic stay at home activity and she's wrecked and needs a nap.

I think a lot of SAHP feel that way.

They just have so much energy and are so inquisitive. I used to get our DS to help with jobs, come on, carry these socks to the washing machine, put these spoons in the dishwasher, bring the pegs out to the washing line, here's a duster (clean cloth) dust down table or a paintbrush with a tub of water they can go around "painting" outside

Teach them now about tidying up after themselves, it's like a little keep you busy task and puts them in good stead as they grow up.

Get out once a day if possible, let them have a good walk around, maybe a run in the park, on the grass somewhere with a ball, collecting leaves to paint outside.

But yes, you will not be alone in feeling this at this age.

4 is a real milestone IME. I have a 7 and 4 year old and now play dates the kids just go off and play by themselves, it’s incredible! I can actually have a hot tea and chat to my friends/their mums without being interrupted! But then I had another baby 😄 but now I know it’s only a slog for 4 years 🤞🏻

God @Garman you're lucky your kids sleep in!! Mine are up by 6:30 without fail, have never once had to wake them for school!

As a mother of 3 DC teenagers, it gets less hectic as they get older and I miss the days when I had 3 under the age of 3 but now, I have a lot more worries as they start going out by themselves albeit it is less hectic. Funnily enough, I miss the hectic lifestyle. Sounds cliche but try to enjoy it - it will pass.

I think sometimes people forget how hard the toddler stage is. A friend of mine who has an eight year old says to me "they get harder and harder". It's not true and it's not helpful. I found life got significantly easier at 18 months and then again 24 months. Life is becoming easier and easier at each stage. Perhaps their problems get more complicated but at least they can wipe their own bums and communicate!

@Crabbyboot I can see your friend’s point to be fair, I have 3 and my eldest (6.5) is the most challenging. He needs me the least physically, I suppose, as he isn’t in nappies and can take himself to the toilet.

Oh yes my 7 year old is very hard from an attitude perspective. Definitely the most challenging at the mo. Bigger kids, bigger problems is definitely true. But I wouldn’t call it hectic - I can sit down a lot with him!!

its like this until around 2.5. Yes every age has its own challenges, but the stage you’re describing does end! My youngest is 16 months so I feel your pain but my middle is 3 and I’ve found he’s really turned a corner now and is much easier, although still quite demanding of me 😄

I've found around 16 months to now (just turned 2) the hardest bjt so far and if it does get harder I don't want to hear about it.

My DD is not big on naps/ sleep in general though, which doesn't help.

I think there are challenges at every age and each person experiences these challenges differently.

I loved the under 5 years when I was physically busy BUT I did not have to be anywhere at a particular time.

As they got older they were more independent but I was busy taking them to and from places, making sure reading and homework was done etc BUT they were at school so had time to myself

Now they are teenagers I am still busy taking them all over the place and emotionally strained - GCSEs, bullying, relationships, then learning to drive / getting jobs etc BUT I can leave the house, by myself and don't have to worry about childcare!

I am sure having adult children has many many challenges as well -just different.

Someone once told me 'it's all a phase - don't moan about this one as the next one could be worse!'

They don't "sleep in", they have to be up by 7am for school and will almost always be asleep still when we wake them but on a weekend morning are up at 6 without fail. After 6 years of truly horrific sleep with our eldest who still doesn't sleep well at all them staying in bed til 7 is an achievement. We're still woken 2-5 times a night by them and that doesn't even include the baby.

I personally started really enjoying parenting from 2.5, when DD started to speak well and her personality started shining through. It was getting better and better with my toddler but then we had a second baby, and it's become an absolute madhouse around here.....

For me the energy a toddler brings is far more interesting than a baby lying there.

Sounds like you need to break up your routine a bit. I agree with the pp it's more hectic when they start school. At the moment the world's your oyster, you can do what you want when you want. When they're at school you only have them with you at the weekends as their so tired in the evenings.

My best advice would be get yourselves out the house more, go to groups, parks, experience new things, take your toddler to the things you like to do. With my 15 month old if I'm at home all day I go stir crazy and the house gets trashed with him pulling toys out of all the boxes 😂