I am so upset

[Uroe]

I am on the tube going to work and so upset and can’t stop crying.

My son is 6.5 and cycles to school. I walk alongside him and there’s a bridge which I try not to go to and go through the park instead but today he insisted on going down the bridge. We are on the same side of the vehicles driving and he fell down and his cycle went on the road. It’s a 30 miles an hour road and cars drives so fast there. He was messing about with his leg up trying to avoid a puddle and he lost control.
he got a bit of scratch on his hand but everything was fine. I saw all this happening and got really upset and shouted at him very badly. He started crying a lot and got very upset.

We stopped, I put a plaster on him and cuddled and talked and continued to school.
We got to school and instead of parking his bike he started cycling around and around the ground. I told him to stop and he ignored me. I kept telling him to stop and the teacher told him to stop and he did.

I called him to me and he started shouting and screaming and crying by the door. He kept calling him to me but he wouldn’t come. The whole school was watching. I don’t care about that but I am very upset that I had to leave him in this state and left. sorry I am writing in a mess I don’t even make sense

Oh my goodness. How lucky, how scary! I would have lost it too, OP. Kids on bikes in traffic are terrifying! He's probably upset because your reaction scared him, and that's good. He should be scared of traffic. It's dangerous. He's okay though. He'll be fine.

Don't go to school via the bridge again. You're the boss.

Sorry to hear you both have had a bad start to your day. [Flowers]
The teachers will look after him. It sounds like he had a shock and responded a little later than the accident.
Go gently on yourself today, a little treat if you can, as you've had a shock too. If they don't know what happened, give the school a call and let them know and get an update on how your son is.

Did you tell his teacher what happened?

I'd be tempted to say he can't cycle to school for the next few days because you can't trust him to behave sensibly or stop when you tell him to.
Go out at the weekend to see if he listens to what you are telling him - eg stop when he gets to a certain point and wit for you, or just stop when you say.

Use this as an opportunity to talk calmly this evening about road safety and not cycling in the playground where someone might get hurt.

You got a fright, stop beating yourself up and have a chat with him after school. It'll be fine.

Yes we are never going on that bridge again. It was like a bad nightmare happening in front of my eyes. I shouldn’t have shouted at him. It was very bad and I made him very upset. Yes I sent a message on the app we chat to the teacher to. It was the headteacher who told him to stop cycling on the ground and I told her as well. He’s not allowed to cycle on the ground he knows this as it’s too dangerous and can knock anyone. I really handled this very badly and I am so sad for him. He’s my eldest. I have 3. And I keep forgetting he’s only 6 and that’s not big at all. He was crying and shouting and screaming and really upset. Thank you all for listening and being gentle to me.

Tomorrow is another day , he must have had a shock and reacted later . But still no cycling to school for a couple of days. He just can’t go off as he likes, it’s too dangerous

Go easy on yourself, we all have tough mornings

He’s very good with road safety as he’s been cycling to school since reception. He’s in year 2 now. We usually cycle through two big park but today my daughter wasn’t going to school as she starts tomorrow so it was only the two of us and he said he wanted to go on the bridge as it’s a quicker route. I really shouldn’t have listened to him. It’s all my bloody fault. I made such a huge mess and he’s gonna have such a bad day at school now.

I personally don't think shouting us necessarily wrong when a child is putting themselves/others in danger. They need a short sharp shock to be stopped. He was probably crying due to shock as much as anything.

He will have forgotten it by this evening. You can have a calm talk about being sensible near roads, doing what you tell him etc, explain why you shouted, and have a cuddle.

Go easy on yourself, we all have tough mornings

This. You've had a bad fright.
Use it as a learning experience. Talk to him when he gets home. He's had a bad fright too. Explain why you shouted (fear) and apologise for that, but lay down the rules of safe cycling also.
No bridge, no cycling in playground etc.

He’s very good with road safety as he’s been cycling to school since reception.

But he's 6. They are still likely to have silly moments, and still don't really understand why the road safety rules exist and what the implications of not following them really are. He still won't be able to judge the speed of a car accurately etc.

That sounds like a stressful start to the day for both of you!

It's always horrible parting from your child badly, but we carry the upset asking with us much longer than the child, usually.

Big hugs tonight, talk about what happened and that's why you cycle through the park. Re-establish your authority on making decisions for safety etc.

The tears are fine, just a release of the fear, shock and stress.

I hope your day gets better.

This is pretty good advice.

Don't feel guilty. You kept him safe! This is how they learn. My son used to run and hug dogs until one snarled and snapped at him. He was horrified and kept away from dogs after that. Sad, but necessary. This sounds the same.

This for me ^^ 100%.

Don’t feel bad. It’s your job to keep him safe, and he doesn’t get to decide whether you go over the bridge or not. You do. I agree with other posters, no cycling to school until he shows that he can follow your instructions, stop when told, come to you when told. That’s a natural consequence.

He got a fright but thankfully no lasting damage done, and every parent yells once in a while. He needs to understand that it’s important he does as you say when out on his bike and/or near traffic.

yes you are all right, thank you for listening.
Miss sent me a message to say that he's very upset and they tried to call me but I am on the tube so no network.

My DD wants to ride her bike to school but I am not allowing it. I drive her when I am working or walk and she can use her scooter at others time. I just like her riding around parks etc it makes me nervous near traffic.

You've both had a fright and he's reacting in his way, and you in yours. It will be ok. Explain later that you shouted so much because you love him more than anything and him getting squashed by a car is one of the worst things you can imagine happening. You weren't shouting because you don't love him, you were just very frightened and upset in that moment. It was an accident, you can move on from this.

Be kind to yourself and him, bath and pyjamas, favourite tea and cuddles and go the other way tomorrow!

It's completely normal to shout in these situations, and completely normal for kids to get very upset as you don't usually shout - they're reacting to your fear and that's all fine. It'll be ok.

We all give into pressure against our better instincts sometimes that's life.