Talk me down - feeling like giving up

[Crystaly]

After years of staying at home I finally have some semblance of a career. Have an 11 and 6 year old. Got promoted this week. Only on 30k but still I was on a lot less when I returned to work. Work full time as does OH.

oldest walks home from school. We work from home every day except on Tuesday and Thursday I travel into the office. On these days my daughter has to go to after school club. Every other day I collect her from school.

when she’s there she likes it but she begs and begs not to go. From 6am this morning she seen I was getting ready to go to office and was hysterical. On way to work she called me again begging not to go. I have no other options.

I cried. Felt like the worst mother in the world. Felt like turning the car around. Even now I’m at work I feel like walking out. Asking for holiday.

Any advice.

Can she walk home and let herself in? If she is 11 would she be ok for an hour?

She’s 6. My oldest is 11. He walks home.

Have you spoken to her as to why she hates it?

Why does she hate it so much?

You both work from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

why don’t you make it that you work from home on different days so she doesn’t need to go?

I work from the office Tuesday and Thursday. We only have one car and my OH walks her to school so already takes time out his working day to get her to school.

sorry if I wasn’t clear.

Yes I think ask her why she hates it. Assuming she is just playing up as all people sometimes do, have you tried telling her you need to be at work to pay for nice food to eat / to go on day trips/ to pay the mortgage so you have somewhere to live. So she can see why you are at work and why she has to be at the club. Don't feel bad. You are doing really well to have secured a promotion and she hardly has any time at after school club compared to a lot of child so I wouldn't feel guilty at all. Some things are non negotiable.

Op you don’t mention the why she hates it

How is your six year old calling you?

Good point
clearly the father is allowing the call. Not on.

She just says she doesn’t like it. She finds it boring. She doesn’t say why I do ask her but it’s just always “I just don’t like it”.

she begged to speak to me and he let her call to help calm her down

My advice?

stop the calls. Very unfair for you and indeed her.

and find alternative after school activity - a childminder might suit her

I would say to her that this is the way things are and that some parts of life are boring. I would end this as an issue, lots of her peers parents are working, it isn't unusual .Don't feel bad for doing your best by yourself and your family and stop engaging in this conversation.She will stop when her behaviour doesn't get the reward she is after. Your DH should be taking equal responsibility, why is she not haranguing him?

Thank you. Been busy all morning in work. I really do enjoy it and I forgot about the drama. Hopefully it improves.

I was similar to your child- hated after school club! It's just so hectic and there's no home comforts after a tiring day of school. Like pp said, a childminder is much better, she'll be able to go to someone's home and be in a calm comfy environment while she waits for you