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How to respond?

5 replies

Charliesunnysky10 · 05/09/2022 17:44

My daughter and 3 of her friends (A,
R & T) play netball for for a team across the city every Wednesday. The mums take it in turns each week to collect them from their same school, make tea and deliver them to netball. It's 40 min trip for them but only 25 for me.

A' Mum messaged the group today to say A's & R's younger sisters are starting at the earlier session for younger players and she'd asked if the 4 older girls can help so they can all go together. However the coach apparently only needs 3 helpers (A,R&T all helped last year for Duke of Edinburgh and are doing the same this year - my daughter helped elsewhere as there are only 3 helper spots each year).

My daughter is crushed as netball tea & the 40 min sing along in the car is the highlight of her week, and she knows she'll be missing out. I'd have thought the logical/legal (there'll be 6 people in 1 car) thing to do would be to have 2 groups - the 4 older and 2 younger at different houses. But that might be too much hassle. I get that the 3 helped out at the younger session last year but it was on a different day so wasn't an issue.

My daughter is 14 and we discussed possible options like inviting another classmate over once a week or asking another netball player if they'd like to lift share, but the fact is it's not the same, and will likely seem like retaliation using someone else - the last thing we want is to hurt someone else. And we agree we want to remain close friends with R&T at the very least as they are her closest friends.

I just can't work out how to respond to the WhatsApp message or how to go from here. I'm trying to model best practice but I feel very disappointed.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SunshineClouds1 · 05/09/2022 18:49

Have you spoke to the coach?
An extra helping hand is never always pushed away if you know what I mean

Charliesunnysky10 · 05/09/2022 18:56

@SunshineClouds1 Thanks. That was my first thought but then I thought how will that help her. My daughter will be turning up at the same time as the big party of girls she's no longer travelling with, and the mum who delivered the exclusion news will know I didn't take her word for it.

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SunshineClouds1 · 05/09/2022 19:01

If the coach was to say yes bring her along you could still do the tea and take the other girls.
I would just say to the other mum I asked the coach on the chance she could help aswell and he said yes. Don't over think it.

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LIZS · 05/09/2022 19:05

Presumably the younger girls finish earlier so you and dd can still offer the return trip to the others.

Charliesunnysky10 · 05/09/2022 22:28

@LIZS unfortunately not. We all collect our own as we live in 4 different directions. It's so hard to know what to do as she wants them to know how much this news has upset and angered her but doesn't want to lose their friendship

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