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Original poster

Im so fed up of life sometimes

4 replies

bingo876 · 04/09/2022 22:11

Not always. Just sometimes

I'm aware that there are people who have it much worse. And I try to count my blessings but sometimes it just feels so MEH

I have a 6 year old DS and a 10 month old DD
My verbally and emotionally abusive partner walked out on us when Dd was 10 days old
I do all the parenting. I'm breastfeeding and I've had 1 evening (5hours) off in 10 months
Ex doesn't pay any maintenance (he had a period of unemployment but is now working again I believe so I plan to do a claim) he sees them sporadically
DS behaviour through the holidays has been challenging
DD is the clingiest, most miserable baby I've ever known despite my best efforts
My house is a mess, the washing is piling up, I don't know where I'm supposed to find the time to do all the THINGS
Cooking is a chore
I barely have time to shower some days
And I feel like I might never meet someone else

exP is out there with the freedom to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And that's his loss because I get to tuck our kids into bed each night. But I'm so angry with him for doing this to us. How could he?

I guess I just feel a bit gutted that this is how my life turned out. I love my kids to death but it wasn't meant to be this way. I didn't plan to be a frazzled, overwhelmed single mum
I'm sad that the life I thought I'd have is so far from this.

Anyone else been here and can tell me it gets better

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 04/09/2022 22:22

Some days are better than others some years are better than others the last 6 weeks have been utter pants for me single parent two sen kids both decided to be challenging especially today I get it anxiety over school anxiety over the dentist now ffs STOP GRABBING YOUR BROTHER BY THE NECK put your shoes on please yes yes very good and your shoes? This happened two years ago you say? Interesting and your shoes? Can you put them in please? (FUCKS SAKE) just put down that toy and put your shoes on NOW please cut the attitude out and PUT your SHOES ON PLEASE shouting? Well have you tried doing as i asked? What was that? What do I want you to do,? glad you asked put your shoes on ....please

All day all week all month

But not always or I would be running very fast away

Singlemum2022 · 04/09/2022 22:31

Things will get better. Maybe not today or next week but they will.
Your little ones won't be little forever and you will slowly carve out time and space for yourself when you are a person not a mum.

It is shit that your ex has his freedom but in years to come you will look back with the fiercest sense of pride that you raised these kids.

In the meantime, work on your support network. Get a babysitter - paid or otherwise - so you can get out.
Use online grocery deliveries to make life simpler.
Don't stress about a tidy house - just have one space which at the end of the day is clear so you can enjoy it.

There will be times when you feel everything is on you and there will be tough days but you really can do this.

And you are totally right - sometimes it's utterly meh but other times there such moments of joy and happiness and freedom that make it worthwhile.

Took me a long time not to waste the energy on the ex because he'll never feel the love of those kids in the same way or the knowledge that he stepped up.

Original poster
bingo876 · 04/09/2022 23:04

Isaidnoalready · 04/09/2022 22:22

Some days are better than others some years are better than others the last 6 weeks have been utter pants for me single parent two sen kids both decided to be challenging especially today I get it anxiety over school anxiety over the dentist now ffs STOP GRABBING YOUR BROTHER BY THE NECK put your shoes on please yes yes very good and your shoes? This happened two years ago you say? Interesting and your shoes? Can you put them in please? (FUCKS SAKE) just put down that toy and put your shoes on NOW please cut the attitude out and PUT your SHOES ON PLEASE shouting? Well have you tried doing as i asked? What was that? What do I want you to do,? glad you asked put your shoes on ....please

All day all week all month

But not always or I would be running very fast away

Couldn't have summed it up any better!

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Original poster
bingo876 · 04/09/2022 23:06

Singlemum2022 · 04/09/2022 22:31

Things will get better. Maybe not today or next week but they will.
Your little ones won't be little forever and you will slowly carve out time and space for yourself when you are a person not a mum.

It is shit that your ex has his freedom but in years to come you will look back with the fiercest sense of pride that you raised these kids.

In the meantime, work on your support network. Get a babysitter - paid or otherwise - so you can get out.
Use online grocery deliveries to make life simpler.
Don't stress about a tidy house - just have one space which at the end of the day is clear so you can enjoy it.

There will be times when you feel everything is on you and there will be tough days but you really can do this.

And you are totally right - sometimes it's utterly meh but other times there such moments of joy and happiness and freedom that make it worthwhile.

Took me a long time not to waste the energy on the ex because he'll never feel the love of those kids in the same way or the knowledge that he stepped up.

Made me cry. Thank you. I need to reach that point of not wasting energy by resenting him or caring about what he did. He did us a favour

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