Post colic- does anyone else feel this way?

[Eirlys1986]

Posting to see if others have similar experiences and also any advice as to how best I can move forwards. Had my first baby last October and sadly he had colic for a good 4 months which took till about 6 months to really start to improve. Myself and my partner spent a long time trying to reason that it couldn’t possibly be colic(I think because we didn’t want it to be something so horrid and we wanted it to go away quickly). We were basically being screamed at throughout the day and night, I have horrible memories of being unable to sit down to watch tv or relax at night as I had to be standing up swaying with him strapped to me or marching up and down hallways at home at 4am with him screaming. Every night felt like a war, screaming and he trying desperately to get him to sleep often till 1-2am in the morning, he would then only sleep 2 hours at a time on a good day. We’ve only recently “sleep trained” with good results and were sometimes getting blissful 11 hour nights of sleep from him but even a “bad” night included 5-7 hours straight which is great in my books as he’s now 10.5 months.
He got a cold a couple of days ago and has consequently been waking very frequently screaming and needing boobing back to sleep. I of course know he needs that comfort and it isn’t his fault but I find myself becoming tearful and frustrated/angry. My partner remarked the other night I am “quick to despair” whenever his sleep doesn’t go to plan. I am starting to feel that I’ve almost got a mild form of PTSD as a result of the colic. I also feel I don’t trust my parental instincts as a result of it a lot of the time. I also feel awful because I am often quick to assume there’s nothing wrong with him when he’s ill or teething and that he’s “just being colicky” again.
if anyone has experienced similar they could share or if they have any tips on how they handled things moving forwards post colic k would massively appreciate it :)

@Sydney199 Ps mine was also an emergency c section and tongue tie. I do believe the c section may have resulted in some of the colicky behaviour….being suddenly grabbed into the world in an unnatural way can’t have been easy and maybe led to some of the irritability etc. I did hypnobirthing yoga etc and fully believed I would have a “normal” birth but life had other plans. Totally not my fault so some things in life we have to accept are just less than perfect. I think now we’ve managed this genuinely horrific stage any other parenting stage toddlers etc which may really upset others won’t phase me!

Hi this is obviously a year old post now so not sure if you’ll see. But I’d be so keen to know how things went for you?

I have a 5month old baby who was a relentlessly ‘colicky’ screamer up to a month ago, when she seemed a little calmer. She’s just started crying loads again though & whilst I can tell it’s probably teething I too feel like I have PTSD! I catastrophise and assume the colic has somehow ‘come back’…it genuinely makes me shake with fear/anger/sadness. & the level of jealousy I have of people who’s babies are more placid is crazy. I feel like half my maternity leave has somehow been ‘taken’ from me!

Anyway if you see this, would be great to hear that things (hopefully) got easier?
thanks x

@LCUK hi 👋, I’m so sorry you’re having horrible crying again and it is making you feel awful. I really empathise, colic is so so traumatic and it’s a very difficult thing to rationalise moving forwards. I would reflect that now my little (almost 2! Year old) son is largely a happy active little toddler. He is still high maintenance 😂 so I definitely feel like the colic was at least in part a part of his personality, if something discomforts him like teething etc he is not the kind of “pudding baby” to sit and happily grin and bear it. My own tolerance for crying has definitely changed especially once he was 18 months as my overall confidence as a mother and my own ability to recognise when he is teething/ill/tired/ hungry has grown. I feel the colic really slowed me developing that self belief in my parenting skills as whatever I tried to help him just didn’t work. I would reassure you the colic most certainly will not have come back and your child is likely crying for a completely “normal” reason but that your past experience is making this very triggering and upsetting. I actually had a course of CBT with a psychologist to improve my own self belief and coping strategies so if the problem persists for you then perhaps you could speak to GP about that? X

Ps @LCUK i totally get the jealousy thing with “calm” babies, I still feel it now when I see calmer none colicky babies or even more chilled out toddlers. It has helped me to just give things space and time to settle, I have realised over the past year things go in cycles I.e more whingy and upset as ill/teething etc then we will go through a lovely settles patch and this is just who he is. I promise they become massively more rewarding as they get older and older as then you get back some more communication and love from them. Let’s be honest, it can feel like a bloody thankless task looking after a baby with colic x