7 year old DS night waking

[coasterroller]

DS 7 goes through phases of night waking and I'm struggling. Usually when he's out of routine so in the holidays.

He shares a room with his brother on the floor above me and DH. Their room is directly above ours.

He wakes every night between 1am and 3am and either shouts for me or comes down to our room to say he can't sleep. It's either a dream, tummy ache or he's too hot (room is fine and he's in a vest etc).

I either have to take him back up to his room and sit by him until he drops off or he gets into our bed and DH goes off to the spare bed.

It takes half an hour to an hour to get him back off to sleep. He just can't get himself back off to sleep. He keeps saying I can't sleep. By the time he's gone back off, I'm fully awake and monkey brain starts. Songs going round my head and lists of things I need to do etc. I'm starting to panic about the early hours as I'm a light sleeper anyway. By 4am I'm desperate and take an antihistamine.

He eats a good tea, doesn't have screens in his room, has a bath, lavender, has plenty of exercise in the day and is happy at school. He's looking forward to going back.

I can't function the next day. Permanent headache and foggy brain.

They have a sofa bed in their room which I'm going to sleep on tonight and hopefully if he wakes, he'll see me there and roll over and go to sleep! I need to re-set his body clock.

Has anyone been through this? Any tips? I'm exhausted (older Mum).

By a good tea do you mean large portion ? Your evening meal should ideally be light. Can you try having a large lunch/ dinner then a small evening tea ?

My DS is nearly 9 and still does this, although he goes straight back to sleep. I find the key is not letting him get fully awake. Staying in his room for a bit might break the habit.

Why can’t DH do the night wakings some of the time so its not always you getting the poor nights sleep?

I'm a bit like this (and DS1 has inherited it seems!)

I use podcasts when I can't sleep, focussing on trying to go to sleep just makes the whole thing worse for me.

If I focus on something else then I'll usually drop back off quite quickly. DS1 has a Yoto which seems to help, might be worth a try? The 5 minute marvel stories are a win for us!

A couple of options

Rouse him gently at 10pm and give him a sip of water (sippy cup you dont want wet sheets). Might reset his body clock

Give him an antihistamine before bed containing Diphenhydramine. It makes them very drowsy (usually) and might push him through and reset his body clock

Given him a new fuzzy friend/pillow and start a star chart that he and the new friend are working towards together. Every night he stays in bed all night he and his friend get a star each. When they get five stars, they get a treat each (maybe the friend can get a woolly hat and DS can get some smarties). Having the plan be for both of them means that DS might be more inclined to just snuggle the friend in the night when he wakes up and stay in bed. Make a big deal on how the two of them need to help each other and they are a team! They have hugging pillows on Amazon, thats the kind of thing that might work as it wont fall out of bed and get lost in the middle of the night

These are great ideas thank you. DH does some of it but he also has to be up early for work (I work around freelance around midday).

I've been sleeping in his room but he still wakes me at 2am saying Mummy I can't sleep. He's tossing and turning. He says he's having dreams. I know it's a phase but this has been going on every night at 2am for 2 weeks and I'm broken in the day as I can't get back to sleep after he's woken me up. I've tried everything. I think he's gonna have to come in my bed with me if he wakes in the night and DH will have to go off to the spare room. I wonder if being back to school will settle him down a bit. He's got bags under his eyes poor thing.

He spent 10 nights away from me 3 weeks ago in the holidays. DH and the kids went camping abroad and I couldn't go due to my passport not having 10 years on it (!) so I had to stay at home and work. That was unexpected as I was meant to go with them. I wonder if he is still having some sort of separation anxiety from that.

He falls asleep very easily but wakes every night 6 hours later, tossing and turning and huffing and puffing.

Aww how miserable. I really feel your pain - all three of mine have been absolutely terrible sleepers in their own way. DD aged 18 very rarely sleeps past 6am. At least she doesn't wake me any more!

I really hope school helps him settle back into a routine.

I remember going and waking my parents in the night saying I couldn't sleep. Eventually they explained to me that it was fine, and I didn't need to come and tell them and wake them up as well! If I couldn't sleep then just lying quietly in bed was still resting, which was doing some good. So if I couldn't sleep I should just stay being quiet in my room. I would sometimes read or listen to audio books on tape. Usually I think I fell asleep again.

Thanks for all your advice.

He's still doing it. He's only slept through 3 nights in the last 3 weeks. Every other night he wakes at 1am or 2am and comes down to our room (on different floor) multiple times saying he's hot, can't sleep, scared and tummy ache. Tummy ache always the last one.

One of us takes him upstairs, gives him a quick cuddle and says go back to sleep. He still comes to our room 3 or 4 times after that. This all takes about an hour. By this time, the whole house is awake and struggling to go back to sleep.

I've tried the following:

Drink by the bed
Window open
New extra soft cuddly toy
Sleeping in just his pants as he gets hot
Bath and lavender spray
Supplement with magnesium
Small snack and milk before bed
Explaining that we all wake slightly in the night but it's ok to rest your eyes and you'll go back off to sleep

We are all so tired and he must be as well. He's waking his brother up though as they share a room. He ended up in our bed last night which was not a great night as DH and I are tall and need the room!

Ah my youngest did it. I just let him come in with me and DH went in his room. Lots don't approve of this but we all got sleep that way and he didn't do it forever.

I feel you! My 7 year old does this too. I have no idea why and am hoping it's a phase. I'm just soooo tired 😴

We are 4 weeks into this and he's still coming in to us between 1am and 3am every single night. Sometimes multiple times. We are all getting broken sleep and I believe it's affecting his mood in the day.

Sometimes I let him into our bed as I'm too tired to get up and settle him.
Sometimes he goes back to his own bed and settles after a while.
I will mostly give him a quick cuddle and tell him to go back to bed and rest his eyes.

I've asked him if anything is on his mind but he says no.
He says he's enjoying school.
He is warm enough/not too warm/not too cold.
Has a bedtime snack and milk.
Has a drink by his bed.
Plenty of exercise in the day (he prefers garden play/football)
Plenty of attention in the day (we both WFH)
I've explained how we all wake in the night and rest our eyes and go back off again.
I've explained how we all need good sleep to work and go to school the next day.

I feel like I'm not being consistent but it's so hard to think at 2am. Do I co-sleep or keep returning him to his bed?

I really want him to get some unbroken sleep. It's affecting his brother's sleep too and he is a completely different sleeper who needs 12 hours (they share a room).

I've tried an antihistamine for a couple of nights to help re-set his body but makes no difference. I didn't want to do this but I'm running out of ideas.
I do understand that he's a light sleeper (I am too). He goes to bed at 7:30pm and reads until lights out at 8pm.

Personally, I'd co-sleep for a few weeks to get you back on an even keel and then reassess. It's very hard to stick to any sort of approach or strategy when everyone is knackered.

I know it's not ideal but can DH sleep in DC's bed and you share with Dc?

He's just said he wakes up from dreaming then his brother's snoring keeps him awake for a bit before he can go back off. He's not worrying about anything which is good. He says 'I'm ok though Mummy!'

As some one who woke in the middle of the night as a child and still do as an adult, can you leave him something to do when he wakes ? Read? Watch TV? I used to have a book by my bedside and instead of getting up when I'd wake as a child, I'd just read until I fell asleep again. I still do it now as an adult or I watch TV until I drift back off.

Hi Op, do you think going to bed much, much later might help? Like 10pm maybe? I sometimes struggling getting back to sleep if I wake after 5/6hrs. It's much more likely to happen if I've gone to bed early. Just an idea.

Great ideas. Thank you.

It's still going on bless him. He is still waking at 2am every night but we've gone from him coming and waking us and having to lie next to him/co-sleep a few weeks ago to him more often than not settling himself back off which is a huge improvement. I do hear him moving about though then I lie awake for ages until I can hear that he's gone back to sleep. I think the book idea is a good one.

I've explained to him that of course he can come to us if he's poorly/vomiting or has a really bad nightmare but that we all wake a little in the night and we go back to sleep.

He's 7 and goes to bed at 7:30pm. He reads for a bit and falls asleep easily around 8ish.

The main thing he says that wakes him is a dream and he is scared. He shares a room with his brother though and has a night light so I hope he finds comfort in that.

Has anyone been through a phase like this with a 7 year old? He has a vivid imagination. The only new thing he's been watching is Spongebob which is a bit weird but ok I think?

He's slim and doesn't stop moving and I would say he has my active mind and imagination! He loves garden play and football over anything else. He has a bowl of Weetabix before bed. He does say he's thirsty in the night but he drinks well in the day and I leave a drink by his bed.