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Original poster

Making small talk at school run

14 replies

Heidi3333 · 01/09/2022 15:27

Does anyone else feel really awkward making small talk with other parents they don't know at the school drop and pick up?

This is something I really struggle with but force myself to do!

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StrikeandRobin · 02/09/2022 07:05

I think most of us feel like that, especially in the first couple of years. It does tend to get less awkward as the years go on and you get to know each other better so can have more meaningful chats, but I was very relieved when DC started high school and I no longer had to do the school run.

wowmummy · 02/09/2022 07:09

Urgh. Say hi, you ok, address the child and run. School mum talk is the last thing you want to get into. I ignored that advice and it was the worst thing I did

Zonder · 02/09/2022 07:12

Just do it. I found the friendships I struck up in the playground were invaluable. We shared emergency childcare, picked each others DC up in a crisis and had playdates.

All you have to do is ask some question about their kid or make some comment about what they did in school yesterday.

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Shiningstarr · 02/09/2022 07:13

Ugh, this used to cause me severe social anxiety. So many cliques and b*tchy mums. My youngest starts year 7 next week and I've actually been celebrating.

No advice sorry but good luck!!

carefullycourageous · 02/09/2022 07:14

I never forced myself to do it. You don't need to be the instigator, you only need to be reasonable if approached. I just smiled if anyone caught my eye.

I have much older kids than you by the sounds - they all had lovely friends they made without me treating the school run like a networking event.

Honestly, you don't have to bother. Just relax and be nice if approached.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/09/2022 07:17

I don’t see how it’s any different to small talk in life eg. With your colleagues, with friends of friends at parties etc.

autienotnaughty · 02/09/2022 07:19

Awful but I do it.

grafittiartist · 02/09/2022 07:24

I used to enjoy it. Made friends and found nice people. But I'm a chatty person.
Just play with your phone instead? Or time it just right so you don't have to chat?!

Zosime · 02/09/2022 07:26

Don't you just say something about the weather or the traffic or how you had to rush around to find [thing needed for art or project] or 'did you go to [insert local event] at the weekend?'

shazzybazzy34 · 02/09/2022 07:29

God no, life is too short for shitty small talk and forced conversions to become part of the clique. Such bullshit.

Hello, how are you? See you later and move on. Why force yourself to interact wjem it causes you stress?

JasmineIndigo · 02/09/2022 07:33

If you don't want to make small talk then put headphones in as soon as you've said good bye to your kid. It's not compulsory to chat to other parents but as a pp said you might form some useful and appreciated friendships 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 02/09/2022 07:37

I hate small talk in any situation and particularly hate school small talk. I just find it difficult and aimless and don’t really want to engage in it.

I sort of opted out of it and stand in my own at pick up/drop off. Though I share them with my husband and some after school clubs so it’s easier than it would be if I did all drop off/pick ups. I do speak to people occasionally if I have something specific (eg to invite the child’s friend to play etc) but I’m not hanging about talking about the weather and general nattering.

Original poster

Heidi3333 · 02/09/2022 13:59

Thanks for the replies.
its good to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I always feel like maybe I should be making more of an effort!
There are maybe 1 or 2 mums I go up and speak to but the rest I stay away from,
what makes things 100 times worse is that the kids all go to a swing park next to the school when they finish up and all the mums go too! I’m there for up to 45 mins and I hover about awkwardly feeling like I stand out. Sometimes I’ll sit beside other mums and make an effort but tbh I’d be quite happy sitting on my own playing with my phone!

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sunflowerandivy · 02/09/2022 14:32

I cannot wait for my DD to start school next week because I'm really hoping to make some new friends too. Maybe that makes me odd but I am lacking in the friendship department. I find it hard to make friends in general and met another Mum through nursery 3 years ago, struck up a friendship and we became close only for me to be treated badly by her and realise she was a complete narcissist and I feel a bit battered by the experience and am hoping to find some other like-minded people.

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