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Original poster

baby will be one and half months shall i accept wedding invite-country hotel 2 venues

32 replies

ruva · 22/01/2008 12:31

Hi ladies,
i am expecting my baby end of feb and have been invited to a wedding when he will be a round 1 1/2 months old, the wedding will have church different venue, reception different venue and the hotel a stone throw away, am i mad to except this invitation this will be my first baby. please can anyone suggest logistics

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AttillaTheHan · 22/01/2008 12:39

I would say yes you should go. Small babies are so much more portable than you think as they sleep so much and as long as your feeding is going well (however you do it) I would imagine you will be fine.
We took our son (2 months at the time) to a family do and he was really good. When we took him to a wedding at 18 months old he was sooo much more of a handful. At least they stay put at 1 1/2 months!

I would say that you should go but don't feel bad if you want to opt out early or spend a bit of time on your own away from the crowds.

LittleB · 22/01/2008 12:43

Try and make sure your baby is hungry in church so you can feed to keep it quiet, and be near the door and the end of an aisle so you can leave the church if your baby cries. Plenty of muslins to cover you up after feeding so your outfit doesn't get ruined - and changes of clothes for your baby. Car seat at the reception for your baby to sleep in, or moses basket. You might need to head off to the hotel earlier than some, your baby might not like loud music if they have a band., but you'll probably be tired anyway. I don't think you're mad, you just need to be prepared, but you'll have a better idea of what your bab needs once you've had it. Do check that the couple are happy to have a little baby along too, I'm sure it will be fine!

TellusMater · 22/01/2008 12:45

Oh I think after the first month and before the sixth is about the easiest time in term of logistics. Especially if you're breastfeeding. And they sleep a lot. Well, most of themm

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Original poster

ruva · 22/01/2008 12:52

Attilla,liitleB & tell us
thanks for the advice, so glad the happy couple are okay with the baby.
I am so looking forward to this wedding as this pregnancy has been difficult so can't wait to let my hair down.

OP posts:

cmotdibbler · 22/01/2008 12:56

I'd accept, but say that is dependant on how things are going and that you will reconfirm nearer the time (say 2 weeks before as thats when final numbers usually need to be in). That way if baby is late / you have complications/they are the colicy type that don't just settle anyway, you have a graceful exit strategy.
If you are going, hire a beautiful silk ring sling so that you have a glam way of keeping baby soothed and asleep, and acts as a feeding coverup for you if bfing. And you still get to dance.
Don't have too high expectations of the sort of time you'll have - heading bedwards early is to be expected.

cherryredretrochick · 22/01/2008 13:01

Go, you will not get to hold your own baby all night as they will be cuddles by every brrody aunt going, it will be a welcome break for you and everybody will make nearly as much fuss of you as they do the bride. If you are breast feeding you will have no problems at all, if not just go well prepared, don't expect to be allowed to feed the baby yourself though

HolidaysQueen · 22/01/2008 13:08

I second the sling. I went to a wedding recently where an 11 week old spent most of the time asleep in sling and parents got to enjoy the wedding without bulky car seats/moses baskets to look after. They both got to enjoy most of dinner as they had their hands free and even got to dance together at the disco with baby which was really sweet!

MrsBadger · 22/01/2008 13:15

hell yes
when dd was that age we went to Morocco for a week

but be prepared to feed constantly, eat your dinner with one hand whilst feeding / jiggling (or eat in shifts while dh jiggles), and flake out at 9pm.

Or he could sleep through the whole thing...

elfsmummy · 22/01/2008 13:18

definately go.

Any chance you could get a room at the reception venue - I've always found this so much easier for nappy changes/time out etc?

Enjoy and good luck for feb!

fairylights · 22/01/2008 13:24

go but check out where you can feed and change at each venue (i was always more realxed knowing there was somewhere to escape to like this!). If you don't get a room at the hotel yourself, see if you know anyone who is getting one and ask if you can use it for feeding/changing. As others have said, your baby will be at his most portable and won't mind being passed around so its a great time really!
We are taking our ds to a wedding in a few weeks, he is 14 months and will be the only child at the wedding (we are close relatives!) and he is just walking/loves shouting/stressy about new people - MUCH harder work, am dreading it

MrsBadger · 22/01/2008 13:30

(the car makes a good portable feeding / changing venue)

MyEye · 22/01/2008 13:32

I wouldn't have enjoyed it one scrap, but I can see other people have more energy
I'd say a cautious yes, hopefully, but can you confirm at last minute

bubblagirl · 22/01/2008 13:34

we went to wedding when my ds was 6 weeks he slept most of the day bless him and we had fun being out was nice

tassisssss · 22/01/2008 13:35

I'd accept with a 6 week old no bother

i'm dithering on whether or not to take my 16 month old to a wedding in March...

TheBlonde · 22/01/2008 13:36

I would say yes but reserve the right to cancel when the baby arrives
If it's 2 weeks late then baby might only be 4 weeks old

Original poster

ruva · 22/01/2008 13:49

Will look into slinging the lo,great advice
Because of placenta praevia lo might drop by c-section thanks!

OP posts:

KelaS · 22/01/2008 14:12

was quite interested to see this thread as I will also have a similar situation when my LO is 6-8 weeks old (depending on how soon he/she decides to finally make an appearance ), except the wedding is my own. Am sure it will be a nightmare, but lovely as well, but think it must surely be easier than doing it later? Right?

Pinchypants · 22/01/2008 14:28

Hi Ruva,
I took DD to my bro in law's wedding when she was 9 weeks old and it was a breeze as she slept loads, wasn't yet in a settled routine apart from wanting a boob or expressed bottle every few hours, and everyone else cuddled her all day. I did give her a dummy cos of my own paranoia that she might have a meltdown during the service, and she was totally fine. Would much rather have tiny baba at wedding than toddler, esp one who HAS to sleep from 1-3! Having said that, advice to accept with the proviso that you confirm when you've actually had the baby is a good idea - you just might not feel that it's something you want to do.
Good luck!
Pinchy x

Surr3ymummy · 22/01/2008 14:34

I took my DS to a funeral when he was 3 days old, and then onto the wake afterwards. I fed him in the carpark, and he slept all through the service, and then was awake during the wake, and it was fine. Much easier for me than for my cousin, who had to take her 10month off outside.

Tapster · 22/01/2008 14:56

You just don't know how you are going to feel. Baby could be late, you could end up with a c-section. My DD just wanted to feed all the time at 6 weeks old I didn't really want to leave the house but recovering from an emergency c-section didn't really help.

You may have an early and quick birth and a very easy baby - I wish you luck! I know from organising my own wedding relatively recently last minute cancellations are ususally very expensive for the bride and groom unless they have back up guests!

MillieMummy · 22/01/2008 14:58

We did two weddings with DD (our first) when she was between 6-9 weeks old. They are portable at that age, but don't expect to be the last one on the dance floor at the end of the evening !

sophierosie · 22/01/2008 15:22

Yes, do accept it - I went to my dad's wedding when DD was 10 days old and then another about 6 weeks later and it was lovely for family & friends to see her and also made me and dh feel 'normal' I was bf so fed her before the service and the rest of the time everyone else looked after her - in fact at my dads wedding it was the first full meal we'd had together in one go DD was 10 days later and a e-section.

bohemianbint · 22/01/2008 18:54

I didn't go to a wedding that was when DS was 4 weeks old, and to be honest, I'm glad. I was knackered and the little darling did an awful lot of screaming in the first few weeks/months.

Entirely depends though, perhaps it'll be easier for you?

tribpot · 22/01/2008 19:01

I don't think you'll be letting your hair down that much at the wedding, I've got to warn you! I went to a wedding when ds was 5 weeks, and another when he was about 3 months. Both quite difficult but I'm glad I went, there were plenty of people who wanted to hold him (mostly blokes remarking to their wives, "was our ds/dd ever this small?" to an exasperated chorus of "yes of course (s)he was!"). Ds had a special menu card printed for him which said:

[ds' name]

Starter - milk
Main course - milk
Desert - milk

I'd agree with the right to cancel thing. You just don't know how you're going to feel.

Smithagain · 22/01/2008 22:17

I have to be honest and say that I would not have coped with a wedding when my first baby was six weeks old. I found the whole baby thing totally overwhelming and hadn't really got my head above water by that point. In fact, we declined a wedding invitation for when our second child was three weeks old. We went to the service, but not the reception and frankly, that was enough.

I would certainly not have been capable of dancing the night away with a baby in a sling and am in awe of those who do. At three months, yes, but not at six weeks. But you may be different. (Although if you do end up with a C-section, I wouldn't underestimate the recovery time).

The trouble is, if you have a calm, placid baby and take to motherhood like a duck to water, you will really want to go and let your hair down. It comes down to how well do you know the couple? Will they be happy to go along with "yes, we're planning to come, but it depends how things are going"? Or are they strapped for cash and likely to resent money spent on a guest who may not appear?

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